they say 80’s babies
were the crack babies
because the 80’s
were crack crazy
but I’m not crack baby
yet I’m 80’s crazy
because crazy made me-
see I was born of death
therefore, life made me crazy
so what category do I fit in?
well…like usual, I don’t
just like my earliest recollections of trauma
I exist in the greys and hazy
so I’m maybe a shady baby
Trauma
Rave About the Butterfly, but You Better Forget About the…
you love my words
just not the heart it comes from
you love my slang
just not the mouth that talks it
you love my style
just not the mind that created it
you love my swag
just not the body that walks it
you love my culture
just not the color that lives it
you love my way of life
just not the blackness that birthed and burdens it
you prefer only half of me
and that ain’t the half of it!
you constructed an America
by enslaving the African
you tell me a history
that isn’t historically accurate
you raped my ancestors
and birthed an accident
you see me ungrateful
if I speak as an advocate
and if roles were reversed…
well just imagine it
because whats been black created,
has only been white endorsed
profiting from the outcome,
while covering up the source
whether in fashion, art and music
or in movies, sports and in court
black people and blackness
have been separated by force
historically, no, traditionally, commitment to black people,
is met with exhaustive cautious association
but when it comes to matters of monetizing blackness
well, we’ve been misappropriated
Traffic’d (Lyrics)
(chorus; repeat twice):
I still got hang-ups I never got rid of
but those are my portraits of family that died
and I can not let go of them
I got a hold of them
they got ahoooold on me
I’m going crazi crazi crazi, like joooodeci
and nobody nooootices
and I am a ghooost to them
but I will not pooose for them
I am no shoooow for them
but sometimes I chauffeur them
but still, I doooon’t fit in
I’m talking emotions
I’m emo I know it
don’t need all the noise
only my voice
cuz I’m paranoid
and I’m in my shell, that’s my decoy!
(verse):
knock knock nobody here
I don’t want traffic
cuz that’s entrapment
now don’t you trap me
cuz it’ll get tragic
and I know tragic
I’m so dramatic
a sober addict
I always stay high, on my own downers
I think I’m drowning
upstream like salmon
the sink is sounding
like water fountains
there’s no more pressure
I’m over counters
promoting boundaries
I poke like outties
my eyes roll like bounty
think my heart is drowsy
think my soul is pouting
think the world is cloudy
think my mind is rowdy
think I’ll find an alley
overdose on Valium
lay inside a valley,
thinking bout the mountains I fell off from
life is a gamble, death is the outcome
your shadows stay glued, you can not outrun
(intermediate bridge):
I still hear voices!
I’m haunted by choices!
I swear it’s too noisy!
I swear I see ghostes!
and they are too nosy!
they know it, I know it, I know it, I know it!
you don’t know, I know it!
(poetic bridge):
and this
is what it sounds like
when you’ve found yourself
while at the same time
losing your way
of life
cuz nothing is no longer as it appeared
the moment
you embraced your fears
and this is me
beginning to realize
the things that I already
but gave no name to
traffic
I need my time alone
(repeat chorus)
Caused Condition (Lyrics)
(bridge):
you need me
you need me…
you made me…
(chorus/hook):
ima be the bad guy
ima be the right wrong
the necessary the evil
the rebel, the outlaw
ima be the lone wolf
ima be the black sheep
ima be the asshole
the stone-cold, cold heart
(verse):
ima have a heart of gold
right now I have a coal heart
now come into my mind, pressure me with your love
and try to find a diamond
I wish you good luck, however you will find it
some treasures leave you blinded
I used to think timeless
but now I live rewinded
all the pain I went thru acting like I never minded
thirst for revenge
no regrets, no remorse not rescinded I’m reclined
I don’t care!
out my face!
out of mind!
out my mind!
out of time!
out of line!
bottom line!
feelings alkaline-
til I’m drained, then they die!
cross my heart!
cross my eyes!
cross my fingers!
keeping promises, never crossed my mind
crock of slime, ain’t no tears!?!
crocodile smile, nan nah nan!
womp womp!
coming out the swamp dump
where my heart was dumped on
where Medusa hissed at me
where the jungle growled at me
where the wolves snapped at me
where the world said chomp chomp
where every land had a cliff, I had to fall or jump from
miracle I hadn’t sunk-I was kicking out the trunk Trump!
driving from the backseat
move over, road rage, honk honk!
used to have a cross, that was lies, now I rock an Ankh Unc
wayoflife, risking cost me lumps somes
came up where the crumbs at
used to be a young brat
used to be a chomp sack
til I learned to punch back
and I did a good job, but still I felt the thumbtack
once I used to run, now, come here, you run that
say jack, I’m nobody’s mule, I’m no longer your dumbass!
(chorus/hook)
Humpty Dumpty (Lyrics)
(poetically rapped free verse:)
umm, attention on the mic
is everything alright?
it’s dark, I hate the light
but I ain’t ‘fraid of light
I like to light a light
this lil light of mine
makes everything alright
and makes the tip joint ignite
and I’m living on the edge…and I need some peace of mind
and I’ll just take a slice
I think I’ll have a bite
I’m counting down inside
feel like some dynamite
boom!
before I pray tonight
I think I’ll take a hike
and wear straight thru my nikes
or maybe ride a bike
up every hill that pikes
if I jump I’ll take a flight
reflecting on the sights
projecting every slight
that’s why I used to fight
compensating for my size
I grade my worth in likes
damn right I gotta gripe
with every wrong I write
why am I not your type?
oh that’s right, you like hype
if my ego too swollen-
then your heart isn’t ripe
cuz all your tears have drained-
so there’s nothing left to wipe
and you only want the prize
so there’s nothing left to wife
I’m just reflecting
or…
projecting
whatever, you get the message
thinking to my self
I haven’t been my self
should I walk into the fire?-
and stand there as I melt
I’m tryna get a grip-
suspenders or a belt
I’m steady tryna deal-
but all the cards been dealt
reflecting on my bruises, rub my fingers cross my welts
com-partmentalizing diaries upon my shelf
I’m tryna move around but I can’t get up out my shell
I’d question what the hell, but life is just a living hell!
I wish me fair well..
eh mhm
I’m trna change, so I’m a coin inside a well
it’s FCK the world until my groin decides to swell
OK where am I going with this…?
I’m drinking all my pride and I just join it wit some ale
and now my point collides with nails
I’m just..
I’m falling harder than some hail
I’ve lived behind just like a tail
but I don’t mind it, it’s a trail
that leads me beyond every fail
and that’s the key to every jail
I’m putting up just like some bail
I’m holding tough just like a rail
I’m wearing down, I’m holier than holy Grails
you phonier than show and tell
I know you well
I know ya self
I know you yell
I know you feel as cold as blowing air
inside the winter
hide your inner
ride the ener-gy
disguise the ene-mies
inside ya vanity
inside you panicking,
but you never show and tell
your shoulders felt
the boulders and the hole inside your soul
and that’s below the belt
you know it
holding on to older goings
going on ’bout other mornings, had you going grey
until you fell and cracked your shell
but now you’re whole
and doing well
Humpty Dumpty
Avoided
voyage
voiceless
voices
voicing
voids