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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Traffic’d (Lyrics)

March 10, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

(chorus; repeat twice):

I still got hang-ups I never got rid of
but those are my portraits of family that died
and I can not let go of them
I got a hold of them
they got ahoooold on me
I’m going crazi crazi crazi, like joooodeci
and nobody nooootices
and I am a ghooost to them
but I will not pooose for them
I am no shoooow for them
but sometimes I chauffeur them
but still, I doooon’t fit in
I’m talking emotions
I’m emo I know it
don’t need all the noise
only my voice
cuz I’m paranoid
and I’m in my shell, that’s my decoy!

(verse):

knock knock nobody here
I don’t want traffic
cuz that’s entrapment
now don’t you trap me
cuz it’ll get tragic
and I know tragic
I’m so dramatic
a sober addict
I always stay high, on my own downers
I think I’m drowning
upstream like salmon
the sink is sounding
like water fountains
there’s no more pressure
I’m over counters
promoting boundaries
I poke like outties
my eyes roll like bounty
think my heart is drowsy
think my soul is pouting
think the world is cloudy
think my mind is rowdy
think I’ll find an alley
overdose on Valium
lay inside a valley,
thinking bout the mountains I fell off from
life is a gamble, death is the outcome
your shadows stay glued, you can not outrun

(intermediate bridge):

I still hear voices!
I’m haunted by choices!
I swear it’s too noisy!
I swear I see ghostes!
and they are too nosy!
they know it, I know it, I know it, I know it!
you don’t know, I know it!

(poetic bridge):

and this
is what it sounds like
when you’ve found yourself
while at the same time
losing your way
of life
cuz nothing is no longer as it appeared
the moment
you embraced your fears
and this is me
beginning to realize
the things that I already
but gave no name to
traffic
I need my time alone

(repeat chorus)

Filed Under: Trauma

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

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