Mercy

an African proverb states,
“they don’t know,
that they don’t know,
that they don’t know.”
and that’s why I ain’t mad atcha
that’s why I don’t hate you,
it’s why I don’t hate myself
That’s why I don’t blame you
it’s why I don’t blame myself
because blind ignorance was both our pilots
flying us to a land of unknowns
where the conditions of survival
were preordained and beyond our control
and so we conformed-
a survival instinct, as to feel like we were in the know
as a result, believing that we know
that there is nothing which we do not know
and that there are no more,
or far less,
unknowns
but if you wish to come from out of
your blanket of blind ignorance
and know
then the first steps of wisdom
is admitting what you don’t know
and that, you do not know
because once you know
you can not un-know
and therefore you can no longer,
be kept warm under the blanket-
of blind ignorance
you may feel colder
the more you grow
but then you will create for yourself
fashioning your own warmth
and blanket of truth
that was there for you,
me,
and us all
since the very beginning
Ashe(let it be so)

call me what you really want to call me
that way we can understand each other when we talk

took my boots
but I became a Flintstone
and still I stood tall
moved on
walked strong
progressed
and carried on
hastening my growth
you stopped nothing
but your own momentum
picking up boots,
I already grew out of
and grew beyond
strengthening my soul
by hardening my insoles

my body plunged by this mighty sword of life
blood of my life force rained down both sides
one side was of the injustices I was to experience
and the other, innocence I was to lose
as I cried out to the sky of imbalance
breathing the air of judgment
sobbing the inequalities of my being
I pondered love-
the fuel of my spirit
the vital essence of my being-
wondering why has it came under attack
before it first had a chance to stand
pain, wounds, and their callouses
armoring my body from love
and so life has been dulled by jade
entrapped by desensitization
the majesty of feelings, foreign
and freedom, alien
I scream in agony my confusion
whimpering for more than what is
heaving for signs
as my tears fall alone
my shadow holed by the sword of life
and tomorrow the neighbor of misery
though I deem its company
if only for the hope of a new life
where the sword of life can be sheathed at my side
fighting away the evils of darkness
slicing its way through what once agonized me
redemption, the handle of my sword I gripped heartily
fencing with despair
retribution, the cold shinning steel I wielded
jousting its tip into fears I once succumbed to
and resurrection became mine
defeating what once plunged itself deep inside the birth me
realizing, it was life that had killed me
nor love that calloused me
and not even ‘my’ fears of both,
which kept me silent, still, sore, secluded, and weeping
it was you
and I don’t need your acceptance,
I finally accept myself
even if you can’t accept that
but you will
because I am also a force
and from here on,
nothing will change the same

inside my lair of reasons and unknowns-
deep as the ocean floor’s fluorescent inhabitants-
there are secrets, hopes, dreams, and well wishes
adorned by an insatiably hungry darkness
and like these see-through seafloor creatures,
I too, have had to evolve into my own light
so I can see
so I can survive
so the things inside my lair can thrive in the light