hello?
is this mic on?
are these lights on?
my thoughts when I was first born
after one big stretch, I came forth on this stage of life with a huge yawn
as I was reincarnated from infinity and beyond
a new destined truth had just spawned
from dusk,
til the settled dust and rust and specs of dirt and trampled earth before the next dawn
my vertebrae erect, my head held high, my chest expanded, my abdomen tightened, my breath deep as I opened my eyes and reached out my arms
I felt life
I embraced, life
even in prison, my body imprisoned, my body cast by the walls of prison, my body an extension of this prison caste system
I still feel life
and I want you all to feel it with me
then recreate with me
I want everybody reading or listening to this right now to be radicals!
I desire you to break down all the structures and their walls
all the names, labels, titles and definitions to the language you speak
I want you all to close your mind, open your hearts, turn up the volume of your spirits and dream with me!
clear your thoughts
ignore logic, forget age and be as free as a child with me
empty yourself of all emotions
and be as weightless as a feather
unconditioned
imagine feeling your being, being completely free
now draw forth your divine will and create with me in this moment
we are going to escape our bodies
we are going to transcend all forms
and recreate the canvass of existence from the undifferentiated mindset of complete oneness
colors only describe frequencies but have no names
justice will be recreated
truth will be whole and known
love will be inescapable
pain will be understood
joy will be the voice of the spirit
success will be the health of the world
earth will be the vehicle for experience
nature, the vehicle for the body
and your body the vehicle for God
and we will all walk in the embodied omnipresence of our creator!
expressing through the accessed powers of omniscience and omnipotence
influencing our realities through and only with, truth
emotions expressing our divinity, not insecurities
existing peacefully with our innately balanced being, and so we are
in harmony, synchronicity, serenity, serendipity
and so we are, the manifested order in the chaos
of darkness, confusion, and the illusions of loss
and so we are, One
and now, we create
with the duality of our being,
bodies encasing eternal spirits and nameless souls
combining both sacred and secular as a lifestyle
feminine and masculine, equal in our complimentary functions
reciprocity
righteousness
rapture
and let it be so, as we bring forth form to formlessness
and our kids run free with purpose
and us adults run free from prisons with our kids
in the likeness of God, together, with purpose
Living With Myself
if you could imagine for a second
what it’s like to be me, for one minute
an hour, would seem a lifetime to you
a day, purgatory
and a week, would turn you into the devil himself
but still I live without asking your help
or opinion
Dist-stance
time and time we create lines and lies
circumscribed
to describe our circumference size
then recreate lies for likes
derived from
deep-rooted ties circumcised
contrite with ‘other side’ diatribes
dominance over emotional competence
kill or be killed
predatory instinct versus intuition
now heart’s intention, isn’t as obvious
the truth probably is
we’re less united
and more Darwinist lobbyist by the way we choose to survive
tension is contrived
heart is denied, ego is supplied, love gets deprived
mentally scribing coerced truths reinforcing lies
self hate romanticized
resolute in pride
internal revelations we hide
external revolutions subside
separation is epitomized
believing we think see & speak from our own mind
systemically baptized to despise and disguise
our rebellion is really conformity’s cry
mournfully we’re morbidly tired
and morally blind
of the wars
going on inside
so we’ll orally lie
traumatized
beef and violent antics, broken homes, torn relationships, lost friendships, derogatory labels we use as adjectives superlatives nouns and verbs
is our deep emotional wounds dramatized
we not prophets we realist
we not realist we prophets
really, what’s real is profit
battling withdraws over deposits
reality is we seen it all
truth is we’ve witnessed nothing truthfully
because when truth isn’t lived, the saga sick cycle sired cyphered siphoned cyst of a sinus system under the sun repeats itself
at only 6 years of age, I felt I lived 6× my lifetimes in my mind’s eye
I seen the tired and painful despondent look in my mama’s cries
and for some reason I had inherited her hurt
generations before my birth of lost worth and a spirit inert
and I’d wear it on my shirt
because I was doomed raised and statistically predicted to be marginalized
so truth is
we haven’t seen nothing at all
we’ve been doing the same thing no differently
division
difference is
indifference doesn’t discriminate differently
so we differentiate with distance and decisions used to distinguish our difference of opinions no differently
at the end of each division
the difference is
we only created more dissension & distance with endearment diminished and connection upended
but didn’t do a damn thing differently making us any different
than both
victimizer and victim
parasite and host
hostage and hostile
repeating toxic cycles
perpetuating symptoms
recreating lies to outline
our worth in purchases
purchasing perks of impermanence as if it’s permanent
adding more baggage each person gets burdened with
what I do affects you
we’re interconnected
and interdependent on our interconnections
separatism invests defects
then detects insects we ingest that infects roots
so the unity we reject
creates dejects pretexts and precepts
where lies erect because we eject truth
now those recreated lies intersect like
perpendicular binds of conflict
being more content with contempt
bodily actions illustrating mental captivity myths and
placated fears we all discern with
impacting each of our journeys from
birth to
growth while developing worries to
gurneys
bodies buried or
scurried in penitentiaries
from
childhood visionaries
to
hood emissaries
then
misery missionaries
to
prison
where commission of guilt over forgiveness
gets spent on commissary
or
in solitary
fast-paced lifestyles like bad taste fast foods where
time is the monetary value
but we don’t spend time wisely so
we need the value menu
pulling up at the drive-thru of superficial self-identity
”I’ll take instant gratification
masking abandonment issues insecurities plus some capping creme in a cup of emotional deflection,
with a side of tough tony proclivities please”
would you like to supersize or compartmentalize that disguise today?
”fuck it you got me, I’m all in, it’s all out there, I got on long sleeves so supersize every affinity!”
we get what we ask
daily we order self-destruction
a life built on desiring things
and hiding within them
projecting our brokenness
ignorant to the damage of our touch
and if hurt is touch
then pardon the metaphor but
you’ve been touched too much
so we are numb to what we’ve become
like snacks
we consume everything as it is
so quickly because it’s really so little, that its nothing at all
and that state of nothingness, lasts
therefore, what ensues is
more issues
more hunger
more thirst
more stomach aches and heart hurts
going through you like calories your body burns
and everything you take in turns
to ashes
and we all
fall
down
crashed
the red bull which gave you wings, stripped your wings
defiant ’til the end as
doors disappear
hallways narrow
walls close in
ceilings drop
sounds echo
your treble trembles
your bass shambled
emotions scrambled
your thoughts channel
traumatic images from a life gambled
commemorating scandals
til they’re too heavy to handle
showing out like bad love handles
your
reality like the aftermath of disasters struck
the cloud painted with smog
from blazing desires that cloak the sky like the Desolation of Smaug
engulfing everything in its path
natures law
proximity undistinguishable by fog
disoriented by all the smoke inhaled as embered flurries fall
acid rain
symbolizes your tears
that which you reflect
you project
after all
you are what you eat
and you arrive
where you seek
physical detainment
spiritual estrangement
emotional derangement
in this case
the D on the range meant
the distance we keep and shoot from
landing our goals further away than the range of Dame
all because the lies we’ve aligned and subscribed
only work to subvert and hide what’s deep inside
maligning
one side from the other side
one sign from the other sign
one type from the other type
one color from the other you get the message right
we celebrate pain as if
we favor prison over freedom
savoring minutes over lifetimes
sacrificing kids for lifestyles
satisfying systemic status quos
instead of building our communities
we kill over zones we don’t own
choosing self-extermination over self-determination
(Dis-stance continued): this portion is a meditation, just close your eyes and allow the words to take you where they take you, now listen….war of the mind
left side/right side
left side/right side
left-separation segregative, form, individual logic rational isolated
abandonment-walls
right-integrative, unity, whole, formless, creative, intuition, imagination
family-doors
left side/right side
his side/ my side
his color/ my color
us/ them
this/that
crip/blood
love/hate
separate/oneness
individualism/wholeism
current state/desired state
woman/bitch
brother/nigga
neighbor/opp
capitalism/servant leadership
gain / loss
convict/cop
(going out skit, don’t need school need money)
fuck you I got me I’m good fuck this fuck that fuck them fuck bitches fuck you white brown black red yellow green pink rainbow whateva on my dead homies on my hoodx3 on my kids on my mama on my skin white pride brown pride
black lives matter
fuck cops
yes your honor… no sir your officer no your honor
(end meditation)
now what do you see
where are you at
what surrounds you
you’re exactly where you were going
with the sounds and vibrations and lacking relations you were creating
you understand now
you arrive where you seek
abandonment issues has you peaked
scared off loss
but reach!
at what point in time have we ever been free
plagued by misunderstood emotions that were meant to be as guides not enslavers
identifying our persons by our patterns of behavior
but self-knowledge is what’s truly tough
when will our kids mean enough
when will women be anything more than tools we use to get what we want and then drop off
when will it hit us that we can’t do it all alone
we need relationships
how many hints does it take
when will being a neighbor to our hood and not a terror get through to us
when will our life actually matter to us
besides when someone is trying to take it from us physically
what are we saving or protecting anyway?
do we even feel alive
what do we live for
what do we gain without building relationships
I read in a book,
we automatically give to each person we meet
but we choose what we give
our words
actions
must constantly set the stage for the life we choose to live
paraphrasing a quote which said, ”if you don’t use your mind to free yourself, then somebody will use it to keep you a slave”
life’s journey isn’t defined by individualism aged
but decisions we make to get out of our own way
persevering circumstance and conditions
rebuilding relationships
recreating change
breaking generational chains
freeing self from self-imposed cages
day by day
& this moment
this graduation
can be the united stance
not dis-stance
onto our life’s
very own
11 step stage
Reborn King (Spoken Word)
and you are a newborn prince
or
a reborn king
and you have to pay the price
for generations before you
after you
and for your inherent state of being
a being in which humanity has become enemy
a being in which families are divided by cases pending
a being
which has been careened
by many seen and unforeseen
evil plots dreams and schemes
all that deem
you to limit your dreams
all that deem
for you to be blinded by material means
all that deem
to incarcerate oppress and marginalize your genes
all that deem
you to be in between the seams
or beneath
obscured from view
instead of the adornments of
crowns and wreathes
roses thrown at your feet
but in this new world, you tie on cleats
going to battle with predisposed defeat
and the breech
of being placed as least
and onto a leash
restricting the neck
the more it breaths
you can’t breath
the more it drinks
it leaks
the more it speaks
it squeaks
but you don’t squeal!
though battered by speech
bittering your speech
hindering your reach
disfiguring your peak
dismembering your feats
rendering you, bleak
rinse cycle on repeat
you’ve mourned your peace
they’ve torn you piece
by piece, scorned as weak
and still you reap!
and still you wreak!
havoc!
and the pungent odor of resilience
embrace your stink
but hold your head high above your sink
look right into that mirror
mirror, image of self, image
mirror, an answer to questions
mirror, reflection of deceptions
mirror, conception of inception
mirror, absorption of illusion
mirror, destiny of direction
mirror, digestion of message
message of vantage
vantage of anguish
anguish abandoned
inside all of your damage..
despite it you manage
you fight disadvantage
you fight for revival
you fought for disciples
you fight for your life stillllll
you fight thru the lies stilllll
you don’t have your eyes sealed
you don’t need no blindfold
you already know how time goes
damn, where the time go
you was just a Tyco
but now you a psycho
its part of the vicious, cycle
no pardon for rights that all fight to indict you
I said, no pardon for rights that all fight to indict you
you still keep your eyes glued
you can’t afford for opportunities to fly by you
because they are rarely ever, right by you
with a good girl by your side down to ride right beside you
embracing the waves of life’s tidals
as hope and defeat outline and spike your vitals
coping through trials and pill vials
projectile bile across floor tiles
as pride was piled
inside of your stomach track, where it remained idle
because life is baptism by fire
and your skin is the explosive proof
so you have inherited every struggle possible
so when you are ready, there can be nothing that keeps you
from propelling higher
because your imagination and will won’t tire
though your tires won’t stop rolling
because you were born
a reborn king
20/20
it’s the mistakes
which broke us
then brought other
things, people, places
together
now bound to us
individually
but are we yet healed
in these new opened
circles?
I’ve carried you
with me still,
I feel you may have
done the same.
unknowing
in some ways
it is a mistake, still
unintended
old scars, new wounds-
blended
but it bears purpose,
behold it
what I’m saying is
I can see now,
it all worked out
perfectly
but hindsight is
I Dreamed Reflections
I dreamed I fell asleep in a sarcophagus…
after swallowing intoxicating thoughts of martyrdom and a coming apocalypse,
like oxygen traveling down my esophagus
mulling over pellets…
and cartridges
contemplating Ancient Egyptian encrypted inscriptions
for prescriptions
and their usage of the uniquely symmetrical feathers of an ostrich
coupled with their affinity for the lotus-like a botanist
I go into, deep trances of travel, but for now,
any hypothesis is pocketed
for when more time in the sublime can be deposited
decoding formless images from my third eye’s oculus
realizing any pursuit of happiness I once admitted to
and conceived of, can’t be reminisced without an asterisk
wondering if,
a spiritual life could be more than obscure and monotonous
or had I even began that lifestyle yet,
had my desire for instant gratification become too dominant
trying to, make too much senseless sense out of senselessness
revisiting the resulting consensus of a carnal thirst quenched versus
how a life of moderation-
no attachments, and sensual deprivations
can somehow seem so preposterous
could I, choose and discern beyond what isn’t already visually obvious
or is my attempts at self-restraint a half-hearted mockery
detailing my own hypocrisies
this unyielding feeling fills veiled shields like windmills,
which till fields, and tilts and stilts, instills chills, distills thrills
and peels reels of still hills,
as both height and depth equally builds and feels so ominous
because my scattered pursuance metaphors the same littering of various condiments
just to spike my responses to my ebbing confidence
chasing shock values for fraudulent acknowledgment
inconsequential accomplishments
and
nostrums for self-inflicted problems
exhaled out my flared nostrils ad nauseum
until nauseous yet noxious and obnoxiously posturing
as emotions have become more and more disconsolate
too much homage to the mirage of impermanent gods
and opulence-
consecrated and idolized like Amen Ra
I need a-
literal miracle, a physical sign,
not just lyrical drivel, but a spiritual symbol
my name evolved to WayOfLife
as I, hold up my Ankh as a monument
for my own innocuous symbol of an ancestral historical and ethereal conduit
while my day to day plays in a mix of gray shades haze and opalescence
bounding through rifts and this mystifying mist of imbalanced emotions,
a lost self, and patterned mind trips, amidst oppositions and consequences
mine mine mine!-apostrophe
I’d be remiss
if I didn’t admit that I’ve sought exits
when I didn’t feel as if,
I truly ever existed
I need less syllables,
more sounds,
more vows and less consonants
I need less country
and more continent
less promises
and less prominence
more community
more common ground
more more more continuity
more commitment
more high morale
and more moral competence honestly
then, I raised from
things dreamed, praised, preyed on, and prayed for
in my sarcophagus
taking in and letting go-
the deepest breath of a new revelation’s oxygen
walking to a park silently,
where I would
ponder skipping rocks across a pond, reflexively reflecting
on the void in my heart and the emotional lump in my esophagus
intuiting purpose and divine intelligence constantly at work working within my consciousness
and those rocks I skipped
were really pellets
from dissected cartridge