I never realized until right on time that the only thing I had to prove, was that I had nothing to prove. What a time to be alive, while internally woke, the only misfortune is noticing all those years you’ve been sleep walking, but that’s drowned out with the marvels in the day ahead of you and the mystery in tomorrow. Because true regret motivates, it doesn’t impede your potential. Potential is a goal you haven’t reached yet, that you rarely speak on. It’s a known truth that you use as an excuse to buy time in order to move at your own speed, while distracted by the scenery. Slow motion is only to take notice of detail you neglected, to highlight what was lost in your sight, not to move at the pace of a snail or turtle, sluggish-like, touching everything your hands can reach. We are too diluted, I was too diluted, sluggish and impeded by everything unnecessary, and ignorant to every necessity. Understand true value worth and foundation, otherwise, you will be buried like the pharaohs, adorned with glamour upon decay. With the shallow things you cherished left behind. Don’t let your pursuits end lost to memory, chasing the temporary. I’ve proven my worth by identifying that I have value, and that..is my foundation
Spirit
Hope is Real
Hope is real
It’s tangible, metaphysically speaking
but its also a tool
Just as faith has been used
It’s designed to maintain order, control
to keep people compliant subservient docile
without hope
what would the slaves without hope of freedom?
Prisoners and felons without hope of a chance?
The oppressed and poor without hope of a break?
The silenced and scorned women without hope of being heard?
The neglected, touched and abused children without hope of help and vindication?
without hope
There is anarchy, calamity, rage, war
and chaos-which is a lack of order
The only one that doesn’t exist today
The absence of order, order will be kept
Hope is real…
I had dreamed
I had dreamed
maybe I was living a fantasy
running from tomorrow
shadows always catch up.
Who would understand
snow in the summer?
I can never find warmth.
Love buried
within that deep white blanket
too vast to escape,
Despair, her name.
She spoke
high regard
for her mother,
Misery.
Longing, her father
distant, but
no denying the relation.
Never wake me
my coma is bliss,
to wake
I would know
Longing and
Misery,
parents to
my apparent,
Despair.
Hello World, It’s me
Hello world, it’s me, Russ, Resilience Under Stressful Situations
No need for last names, we are just getting reacquainted
Ima felon, I prefer to say that upfront
I have more pro’s than con’s, so it’s easier being blunt
I was convicted of taking possessions that I didn’t work for
I deserved it, there’s more I’ve done that I’ve never been caught for
I differ from you because my bad judgements are public record
I’m too grown to call it mistakes, I was just dumb and reckless
I needed this time, I mean I could’ve done without the scenery
But having time to reflect and find self in the real world, isn’t done as easily
I found myself, perfect timing I’d happen to run into you
I’ve had you once, but lost you, yet distantly admired your view
Since then I began writing free verse poetry and 1st person narratives
I’ve learned to swallow pride, accept my wrongs and humble my arrogance
I’m still a little pretentious, but I let go of needing complete control
I’ve found a different type of freedom somehow in learning to let go
I have a genuine respect and understanding of women that has evolved my perceptions,
My insight is less prejudice, my debates are more selective
My opinions aren’t so sexually charged and oppressive
My actions are more protective
It’s funny how I find myself proving to you that I deserve a chance, like you are my dream job or girl of my dreams
But that’s exactly what this is because I care what you think
Be honest, will you give yourself to me fully, or will you stay hesitant, jaded by my past
Happiness isn’t freedom but there’s freedom in happiness, none of which is forever, but I just want mine to last
I have two beautiful sons to father, that job is at the top of my list
I found more peace in realizing the things and the effects of what I’ve done…ignorance isn’t bliss
I fancy myself a romantic, maybe a woman will enchant me with her heart
I’m less vain, skin decays, and these days, love is an art
So I’m putting all my bad upfront on the welcome mat
All in hopes that you’ll greet me with open arms and saying “welcome back”
Let Me Dive In
Let me dive in your mind
and come out with every diamond I find
Your blush, skin flush, from your blood rush, is a river of rubies
You shimmer, glow, and glitter like new jewelry
Your aura is a fire-like buoyance of blue and violet gemstones
Pearls adorn your smile, canary heat perfectly bathes your skin tone
Sapphire sets fire to your nails, aurora like highlights illuminates your hair
Pink birthstones flourish upon the surface of your lips, honey-dew and flecks of green Emeralds litter your glare
You are more elemental than flesh
Your background is laden with gold encrusted river beds
Costly your value, uncapped by the rarity of your form
A cosmic collage of organic cosmetology, meets cosmopolitan flamed by confidence, makes you foreign
I can wear you in your birthday suit, and receive the grandeur of Forbes
Melancholy Medusa, captivated yet frozen by the platinum gaze of your orbs
I dig you, a romantic excavation of your hearts ore
Crystal clarity, diamond beauty…let me dive in your hardcore
God… I know we don’t talk a lot
God…I know we don’t talk a lot
but I’m trying not to cave to the caverns of society
my distance and difference gives me negative notoriety
hide me hide me hide me!
Anxiety, driving me, violently
sirens inciting me, I need silence inside of me, privacy!
Please!…please
quiet the noises, I struggle with voices
second guessing my choices, paranoia
I struggle to escape these life draining…expectations
judgement is only skin deep, exempt of excavations
exclamation, exclamation, exclamation
how do you explain patience? Amidst internet and instant gratification?
When need is saturated and driving us more, when need is driving me on
my knees collide with the floor, daydream a lot because I’m torn-
away from reality, rain on my window pane, my reality drips..
Awake is no vacation, but I need reality trips
life is torture, fighting metaphysical forces
belief, thoughts and emotions, belief, thoughts and emotions, belief, thoughts and …fortress!
Overwhelming, old wounds now new, gauzed yet bleed and seep open
grief, lost in commotion
me, lost in the ocean
sink, hard to keep floating
I tread the weight of misery, not water
and misery loves company, but company gets martyred
marginalized, I’m trying not to cave-in
to the pressures surrounding me, thought I’m already caged-in
see God, this life was prison before prison, but thanks for listening…Amen