Off the wagon again
I took a shot of pride, then cracked it over the head of a shadow
then yelled, “why are you so shallow?!”
I admit, I have insecurities, I’m still fragile
when it comes to my past, I’m fast to act as if I’m ready for battle!
Til I see the shattered glass and realize it reflects Me! Broken and hollow
my mouth open I swallow
Gulps of dry air down a strep throat past swollen tonsils
My trachea achin, I need a chaser, there’s no mistaking it I’m allergic to swallowing pride
Runnin from truth, following lies
Fancy myself a leader yet I’m following lines
That lead me straight to troubled abdominal signs
Bad gut feelings…and that moment I wretch
That same moment you sketch, a picture of my regrets
Same moment I’m stretched, sprawled out in my mess
Bile clings to my flesh…I’m anyone’s guess
This how I deal with my stress, paradox, I’m simply-complex
Death is a promise…life is a threat
Spirit
I Opened the Door to Misery
I opened the door to misery
inhaling the aroma of a different intimate chemistry
Incremental shifts of synergy individually renders me mentally weak!
A sinister invisible energy creeps!…
Within the darkest crevices of my neurons
that splinters then surrenders my memory to obscenities and beyond!
Reminiscing the scene of her screamin
Incoherent, I ran to the vicinity to discover the reason
what I saw literally uncoiled my double helix
My identity compromised by feelings enhanced by treason
at that moment I!…
and that’s all I remember officer, why would I lie?…
Holding onto my sanity
I’m holding onto my sanity like a flying trapeze
sometimes I lose grip with reality, shy, I’m trying to grieve
Living feels so suffocating, it’s like I’m dying to breathe
I can’t tell a dream from a nightmare, but feel more alive while I sleep
drifting to the soothing sounds of a hooting owl, that’s inside of a tree
my window stays cracked open, because inside I feel outside of what’s free
these moments…I close my eyes and vibe with the breeze
though, lonely it seems, when I spend the bulk of those nights on my knees
the thunder is calling, lightning igniting the skies
the air, thick with moisture, serenated by the whistling wind chimes
a nocturnal ambiance, likened to the lightest dark
a universal mood set, morbid-like romanticism, the theme of my dying heart
…I pray my shadow never leaves me, my instinct never wilts
my 6th sense never haunts me, my self-esteem never spills
my heart never tricked, my conscience never lies
my voice never hoarse, my eyes never cry
my knees never quake, my shoulders never fold
my temper never simmers, my skin never cold
my sons forever love, their minds never tainted
they see life as art, and thrive within their parts in the painting (goodbye)
I Once Identified as a Christian
I once identified as Christian
Maybe because of Christmas
So I guess I never been religious
maybe there is just too many religions
so whose right in this world that we live-in
and if I choose the wrong side, will I be forgiven or eternally re-live it
What about those whom are still ignorant?
A child, a teen, foreigners, islanders, monks, and the indigenous
each teaching with commonalities but on their own side of scrimmage
I can’t even fathom how that’s possible, I don’t get it
history showed religion was controlled by the higher ups
so if I’m low on the totem pole & accept my limited role, will I ascend high enough?
I believe in God, my relationship is of love, fear and enlightenment
I repent with a pure heart without confessions or tithe enticement
speaking beliefs are taboo yet they rule the mass’
They should all be heard so I just figured I’d ask
Belief and love should never be uptight
so never stray to convey its meaning, because all religions endured sacrifice
Pain
Pain
Is a flower that must grow
Through a soil that is only enriched by tears
We can never understand the purpose in its process
But if we choose to
We can see the beauty that blossoms
And the clarity inhaled through its nectar
So pain, becomes purpose, becomes love
Love is persistent
And though it may die
You can’t change the fact…that it existed
Blues
You got the blues, you lookin like ‘well what’s new?’
You ain’t been hurt in awhile…’cause you haven’t let no one else through
You feel a lot safer when you closed off
You feel less sacred with your clothes off
You feel real naked when you go out
Attention isn’t really what you about
It feels more real when it’s one on one
But it hurts too much from the one on one
Especially when you feel like he the one
And then he adds company, you like “bye boy cause I’m not the one”
I see you stand strong on your own two
But it’s been too long on your own two
You ain’t about Russian, you American, you ain’t about rushin, that’s the wrong move
You ain’t trying to be anybody’s property, you don’t want to let a man own you
You don’t want just any man on you
Being strong, you don’t have nothing left to lose
These men don’t change and the days seem the same, oh girl, yea you got the blues