No government names
only numbers and monikers
swastikas
and other affiliated insignias
cartel and mafia
illegal immigrants
non English speakers
numbering minorities dominant
whites and other colors
and many religious denominates
drug addicts drug dealers
alcoholics, pill poppers
zombies with insomnia
handicaps, deaf
crippled and blind
mentally ill
mentally deficiency obvious
drop outs and alumni of colleges
associates and doctorates
preachers and politicians
profiteers, privateers
molesters, rapers
killers, robbers
and drunk drivers here
obese, anorexics
sickly, diabetics
giants and midgets
gays and transgenders
once incriminated
integrated then segregated
because
prisoners discriminate
prisoners discriminated
prisons don’t discriminate
so I wonder…
is it the world
or the prisons that imitate
Inside
“resistance”
I don’t know if changing fully is possible in prison
maybe changing your prison
escaping the one of self
it’s just that this environment isn’t safe
there has to be a level of conformity
and healthy distrust and distance of and from authority
for survival sakes anyway
in order to survive and live on
life demands you adapt, then evolve
but evolution has to be a process
not sudden
that’s too radical
being radical in prison..eh
time and place
also, resistance has to be considered
what if people resist your change
then what…
I always say
I won’t be fully changed until I’m out of prison
because that ‘what if’ still applies
and can imply life death
or a prolonged sentence
prison is about survival
not change
but if you’ve done enough ‘surviving’
you’ll be entitled your time for change
just not full blown
because there will always be
resistance
and who are you inside of that ‘prison of circumstance’
better to change the prison of self first
because in this prison,
control is relinquished
we can only seek to change those things we can control
and brace ourselves for those which we can’t
plans are challenged when meeting opposition
though resistance authenticates all change
who are you in the face of ‘resistance’
all by myself
eh mhm?!?
is this mic on?
anyone hear me?
helloooo?
I feel that fallen tree in the forest
does anyone,
anyone out there feel like me
seen
but unseen
heard
but unheard
just an acquired taste
I think I keep people around because…
well just to prove that I’m real
truthfully none of them get how I feel
none of them know what I feel
they wouldn’t want to either
I mean,
how much of someone else’s horrid truth,
would we really wanna bear anyway?
they may say the right things
but those perfect things, still escape them
understandably so,
you can only say what you know
ugh, this life is so complicated
emotions are so layered and complex
who honestly feels truly free to express
I mean really express without restraint
relations are so constraining and crowding
how can you ever be authentic within them
unresolved problems carry over and overlap
but if you can’t decompress with those closest then…
we’re all just this walking talking ball of repressed energy
every bit of stuffed with all the wrong things
why can’t my being be a walking vessel of inhalation
and ventilation
so I can always be uncongested
clear and not full of myself
I wish I could tell someone my every thought
my every desire
knowing they’d listen and accept them
without judgement or fear
nor face and drawn out breaths
I wonder if my desires come from untold thoughts
feelings and emotions
maybe they’re formed
formed by deformed versions of urge suppressed
only to come out confused
seeking any outlet possible
I don’t wanna run anymore
can anyone hear me?!
I don’t wanna run anymore
I want to be me
but I need to find me first
whose with me?!
hello??
hello???..
thought so…
I’m more than I been thru
Lose a lot
bruised a lot
abused a lot
used a lot
moved a lot
locked in rooms a lot
youth was lost
anger,
fumed like fuel exhaust
used to losses
confused, distraught
refused and fought
presumed at fault
a nooses knot
won’t loosen up
listen im,
a nuisance, not-
a puny dot
a ruined plot
a moody lot
a drooling snot
a crooning spot
an oozing blot
ima shooting star
just food for thought
Sleeping Away
Sleep is like treading the darkest abyss
where shadows have bodies,
and nightmares exist
feeling blood from my wrist
it flows like the red sea before it was split
night time I drift
don’t turn on the lights,
a day in the light frightens me stiff
life is a risk…
fall because climbing exerts
the higher, the climate gets worse
jump off the ledge just to land in the dirt
eyes full of dirt
the things that I’ve seen
how can it get worse
mind as vivid as movies
this is too real
then it keeps reeling
and reeling
I’m dealing
my feelings
are filled up
with build up
from ceilings
I try to hide under
look-ing out the window–
its too high to land
so fly if I can
or die if I cant
Your Way
You never know what ain’t enough,
til it ain’t enough
you never know that pain is love,
until your pain is love
because you love your pain,
in love with pain
that’s his name
50 shades of grayer pain painted with your brush
you never know you making love,
until you making up
you never know you down
until you chasing up
you never know you biting pride,
until you tasting blood
you never listen to them,
lift your middle finger up
because most rather judge
before they lift a finger up