all by myself

eh mhm?!?
is this mic on?
anyone hear me?
helloooo?
I feel that fallen tree in the forest
does anyone,
anyone out there feel like me
seen
but unseen
heard
but unheard
just an acquired taste
I think I keep people around because…
well just to prove that I’m real
truthfully none of them get how I feel
none of them know what I feel
they wouldn’t want to either
I mean,
how much of someone else’s horrid truth,
would we really wanna bear anyway?
they may say the right things
but those perfect things, still escape them
understandably so,
you can only say what you know
ugh, this life is so complicated
emotions are so layered and complex
who honestly feels truly free to express
I mean really express without restraint
relations are so constraining and crowding
how can you ever be authentic within them
unresolved problems carry over and overlap
but if you can’t decompress with those closest then…
we’re all just this walking talking ball of repressed energy
every bit of stuffed with all the wrong things
why can’t my being be a walking vessel of inhalation
and ventilation
so I can always be uncongested
clear and not full of myself
I wish I could tell someone my every thought
my every desire
knowing they’d listen and accept them
without judgement or fear
nor face and drawn out breaths
I wonder if my desires come from untold thoughts
feelings and emotions
maybe they’re formed
formed by deformed versions of urge suppressed
only to come out confused
seeking any outlet possible
I don’t wanna run anymore
can anyone hear me?!
I don’t wanna run anymore
I want to be me
but I need to find me first
whose with me?!
hello??
hello???..
thought so…