I pray..I stray..eyes glazed..crrrrryyyy baby
pupils, diiiiiiii-lated
he-look-de-hyyyyy-drated, she-look-de-hyyyyy-drated
blood peaking…I see,.. bloooood seeping open, blooood seeping o-pen
blood leaves me frozen, blood leaves them frozen, blood leaves me…
there is no revival, they try to revive you, there is no survival, no one survives!
blooooood seeping..blooood sacrifice!
this isn’t paradise, this is a pair-of-dice
no one survives inside of this paradigm
life’s paradox, prepares you for that box..that you sleep in..do you see it?
I stray from weepin, everyday we weaken, there is no weekends
before the week-ends, problems deep-en, drown in deep-end
prayers de-pend, on your dea-con,
hope they reach him, cuz eyes can’t reach Him,
I tried, be-lieve me, you-see-my-fea-tures, and what they fea-ture
eyes, like a Mo-lo-tov hurled, Mar-bor-lo, tar, (cough) gurgle
stone-cold-heart- gar-goyle/ blood, tears stains, left behind like car-oil
light will come but dark, is loyal…heart… turmoil
holes in your carhart soiled, blood seepin
I see bloooood seeping open, blooood seeping o-pen
he’s unresponsive, no insurance no sponsor
he won’t make it home, he betrayed his kids pinky promise
because, bloooood seeping open, blooood seeping o-pen
schools just as dangerous as the block now
women killed in passenger seats the same way Pac got shot down
his grandma called the cops, but it was the cops, not the ops that popped him
modifier stocks as an option on the chopper that flocks them
untouchable corporations replenish the stocks, you cant stop them
instead of lifting up our kids to a bright future, its to an infinite dark we drop them
I see, bloooood seeping open, blooood seeping o-pen
politics same as a warzone
ever since grandpa died, too many lies, seperated lives, tainted Wardlow’s
relationships end in life or death now
high vantage hotels become concert let downs
streets artistically designed by body sketch now
think before your next step now
dream before your next breath..POW!
bullet riddled like a witty question
violence was the answer
death too late to ever learn a lesson
unless you hold the camera
and control the angles…
bloooood seeping o-pen.
what is a life worth if death comes so easy
its ok until it hits the public or suburban neighborhoods, value is so misleading
wrong is wrong, killing is killing and I’m too numb to it
you can’t make exceptions or explain away a death if you held a gun to it
kids taken too early, family’s split by pain
killers becoming too common, red rivers flowing to gutter when it thunders and rains
I see, blooooood seeping open, blooooood seep-ing o-pen
Trauma
So-ciety
Taste over affect, the irony of society, like coffee beans decaffeinated
we’re too reactive, in need of a stimulus yet in denial to our addiction to imploring deplorable passive aggressive proactive decapitations
of independent identities, with urban demasculations
and increased political footballs and populism encapsulated
the split in tribalism is all the more gravitated
and one peoples suffering seems like a newly sadistical infatuation
because it is soon politicized on both sides as a means of aggravation
antennas rescinded, cynical syndicates, the senate a symbol of assembled agendas with tentacles
latching to private interests providing for corporations and priviledged individuals
for personal residuals
bipartisan martyrdom is one who becomes independent transcendent and memorable
yet too many feel invisible
too many feel invincible
too many reveal identical
phobias and fearmongering that distills violent principles
and the new interior war is of colliding reciprocals
because another side feels slighted, denied its slice and only provided minimal
when the least is neglected, so is the notion of a society
when the police don’t protect ya and cover ups of kids getting molested by their local diocese
when a woman’s death is used to politicize an exaggerated up rise in illegal immigrant crime sprees
yet supremacists kill a woman broad day in Charlottesville and they aren’t given the same indictment? What an irony
and the families of these violent sieges get no privacy
with lengthy news exposure capturing a moment providing no time to grieve
robocalls for racial incentivized actions against black elected public officials in 2018?
a section of our population grumbling the same immortalized dying words of a black man being arrested for soliciting cigarettes, all identifying with “I can’t breath”
Obama ran on Hope, after 8yrs hears the backlash
middle and lower classes becoming lab rats
and books aren’t the only thing packed in backpacks
certain unaffected people still believing things aren’t that bad
and the death of the last truly bipartisan republican either will serve as an awakening or a symbolized moment of a dying breed
because the call for unity has been met with hide and seek
besides ad nauseum, tribalism, desensitization entirely tirelessly becoming reality in our society
now socialism is a dirty word, and unity has become hyperbole satyr and irony
So-ciety
My Mom is Harriett Tubman
She created her own underground railroad
alluding abusive persecution
sacrificing dark man for son
escaping the enslavement of toxic love
the chains of loss
the raping lies
the beatings of regret
the whippings of judgement
the lynchings of abandonment
and at the risk of her own life
She came back time and time again
rescuing her own heart
throughout the sentences of character and place
transcending the imprisonment of emotional turmoil
an insurrection all of her own
breaking down the walls that barricaded her freedom
she came back time and time again
rescuing her heart
even when others told her to let it go
to move on and start over
that she’d be better off without her heart
her heart may be better off without her
still she trekked
and journeyed further and deeper than most will ever voyage in a lifetime
She never forgot that she was a mother
no matter what she went through
no matter how heavy the weight she bared
she came back for us
each of her four kids
the four chambers of her one heart
knowing the possibility of a chamber or two rejecting her
but she weathered each eventual heart attack
because she’d become accustomed to the battles of heart
those once foreign and now all too familiar battles, made her
She had never knew true peace
embracing each war
standing tall after the dust settled as a Goddess of War
Like Harriet Tubman, but her name is Amanda Wardlow!
the last name sounds so fitting
My Mom was just as fierce brave and courageous as Ms Tubman
and her whole life has been an underground railroad
to which may not be properly appreciated until she’s no longer around
and they will be in awe of her strength survival and willing sacrifices
She is history embodied
and a story to be shared for the many women of past and future generations
but also as a testament to the extent of human capability and resilience
because her index of love knew no boundaries
however flawed she may be
or may have been
she was human in that way
audaciously flawed to perfection
humility amongst certainty
she knows who she is
accepting she may never live to be fully understood or appreciated
and that’s what Heroines are made of.
If Black Lives Matter
IF
BLACK LIVES MATTER
then WHY
after flashing lights
does a BLACK LIFE
FLATLINE AFTER?
IF
BLACK LIVES MATTER
then WHYYYY
after flashing lights
does a BLACK LIFE
FLATLINE AFTER?
IIIIFFFF!
BLACK LIVES MATTER
THEN WHY
AFTER FLASHING LIGHTS
MUST A BLACK LIFE
FLATLINE AFTER?!
Newfoundland
ashamed
because I tried to be
‘white’
at my best moments
then by default
‘black’
at my worst
ashamed
because I aspired
to be like white people
ashamed
because I aspired
to escape being a black man
lost
because when I hurt
nobody white understands me
some things only black people could understand
lost
because when I hurt
I feel black
only we, understand us
angry
because this world
influenced me to trust white people
more than my own people
happy
because I’m black at my best
and only getting better
because finally
I love my. black. self.
occupied freedom
there has been casualties
and fatalities
because this occupied illusive reality
was founded and liberated upon sustained brutalities
and pie in the sky fallacies
without consistent generational challenging
racism is likened to America’s first and longest lasting allergy
and its impact varies based on your color and salary