Newfoundland

ashamed
because I tried to be
‘white’
at my best moments
then by default
‘black’
at my worst
ashamed
because I aspired
to be like white people
ashamed
because I aspired
to escape being a black man
lost
because when I hurt
nobody white understands me
some things only black people could understand
lost
because when I hurt
I feel black
only we, understand us
angry
because this world
influenced me to trust white people
more than my own people
happy
because I’m black at my best
and only getting better
because finally
I love my. black. self.