we need a blow
how can we rest and heal
when we are steady
climbing the rocky terrain
of a hill
and that hill is
trauma
to heal is
traumatic
reliving all which has made us
traumatized
black don’t crack
but tears burn
and sear my mind
the mind can not overcome
the barrage of trauma inflicted
if it becomes
trauma dependent
before we could finish
breathing out a collective breath
there again
not far beyond the windowpane of our existence
we became in view of another death
emotional equilibrium is nonexistent
mental homeostasis is a war
“and we shall overcome”
is beginning to sound like folklore
this is what generational trauma means
we still feel
and endure
the mental and emotional pains
of slavery
trans genetically imposed
within our nervous circuitry
biological mental hardwiring
this why the strength and resilience of our emotions
are taken for granted
because we inherited that as well
in order to survive
damn, we can’t breathe!
help
Trauma
Millenial Martyrs
to proceed
to progress
we have to hurriedly,
process
because by death
is how we leap forth,
and accomplish
we have to die
to receive what we are promised
acting as if our death
is the promise for progress
like it is a preordained constant process
and to the breathless
or bullet riddled body
we say to the blood,
please proceed
because there is unwitting progress
you may achieve
experience is the best teacher indeed
but this is a lesson, that our youth didn’t need
Too Late for a Job Well Done
it’s not that the shooting wasn’t justified
it’s the many times we’ve heard a mother’s cries
because of an unjustified
police homicide
to which we are accustom
because policing on the other side
wears a custom size
and those disparities and biases come to life
then come to mind
when another dies
making justice seem to mean, some must die
and in this case
even if to save one, one must die
BUT
there’s too been too many times
premature death perpetrated by blue lives
onto black lives
more so than
most other lives
I am not keeping score,
rather
I am cutting ties-
with keeping an objective mind
because
we continue to get objectified
as our rights go unexercised
and those wrongs…
and this generational,
modern
and momentary trauma…
will take centuries to rectify
shit, speaking plainly-
adding another black death by a cop
just hits somewhere too deep to specify
as trust has long since been jeopardized
because its the system,
not just policing-
that has been overly weaponized
then silence over accountability
and denial
keeps our experience from being recognized
making it hard to believe your eyes
but
believe your eyes
as ours flood with pain
indicating that we need to rise
because the frequency restricts a peace of mind
and as far as heart
each lost
strips a piece of mine
yea, you saved a life
and though I’m grateful
it’s what you’re paid to, right?
as I still ponder how many more will it take-
after how many of us have been taken
as if we’ve waived our rights-
for this country,
to make it right?
I think I Shall Thank You
when a victim
is continually victimized
and the victimization
does not let up
they are left
with only one answer
if they desire
to longer be a victim
because their victimizer
chose it for them
I Would Like to Smile
I want to smile
in fact
I love to smile
universe willing,
I think I shall have several smiles today
and so I turn on my TV
I happen upon the Chauvin trial
impossible to crack a smile
constant replaying of a man’s death
to win an officers trial
yes,
verily much much too hard to smile
I turn the channel
and I see the killing of a child
mass shootings all around
the border adorning an overbearing crowd
that have walked for miles
nationwide protests and riots abound
failed inoculations
recalled vaccinations
fear of vaccinations
not enough vaccinated
voter restrictions legislated
broken wedding vows
oh, how can I ever smile?
turning off the TV now
glancing around
I spy drug addiction-
narcotic and prescription
I hear insults
my nerves onslaught-ed with tension
inhaling smoke
tasting the odorous polluted air
still, I can not smile
so I peak out of my window
I spy hopelessness
spiritually exempt bodies
walking in circles
repeating the same cycles
around and around
and around
even amongst the lush majesty of nature
I see it tormented by our treatment
the world today,
has only given me reasons to frown
even reasons to weep
so I close my eyes
to set my spirit mind and heart at ease
hoping to experience a sense of peace
and dreamed,
that I smiled deep in my sleep
History and Reality Put in Perspective
an estimated 50 million taken
an estimated 13 million didn’t make it
an estimated thousand in a 200 capacity fort forged basement
and every soul locked in place with chains and tears drowning their faces
crying on each other
urinating on each other
defecating on each other
because they could not move, and all they had, was each other
designated to manifests of a boat religiously pardoned,
onto an unknown land
human cargo, the name “Adam and Eve”
to the first boarded woman and man
an estimated 90 days at sea-disease death rape cannibalism
and murder, unwritten parts of the plan
shackled bodies stacked like sardines in a can
those whom died
thrown off over the side
taken by the tide
or the jaws of sharks swimming nearby
an estimated 37 million auctioned on blocks
an estimated 37 million became a new-world’s first exchange of stocks
an estimated 37 million became a new world’s crop, farming crops
an estimated 37 million in a new world’s history forgot
and today “black lives matter” is all we got
in reality,
the best indicator of future actions, if I’m asked
are the historical actions of the past