Hello world, it’s me, Russ, Resilience Under Stressful Situations
No need for last names, we are just getting reacquainted
Ima felon, I prefer to say that upfront
I have more pro’s than con’s, so it’s easier being blunt
I was convicted of taking possessions that I didn’t work for
I deserved it, there’s more I’ve done that I’ve never been caught for
I differ from you because my bad judgements are public record
I’m too grown to call it mistakes, I was just dumb and reckless
I needed this time, I mean I could’ve done without the scenery
But having time to reflect and find self in the real world, isn’t done as easily
I found myself, perfect timing I’d happen to run into you
I’ve had you once, but lost you, yet distantly admired your view
Since then I began writing free verse poetry and 1st person narratives
I’ve learned to swallow pride, accept my wrongs and humble my arrogance
I’m still a little pretentious, but I let go of needing complete control
I’ve found a different type of freedom somehow in learning to let go
I have a genuine respect and understanding of women that has evolved my perceptions,
My insight is less prejudice, my debates are more selective
My opinions aren’t so sexually charged and oppressive
My actions are more protective
It’s funny how I find myself proving to you that I deserve a chance, like you are my dream job or girl of my dreams
But that’s exactly what this is because I care what you think
Be honest, will you give yourself to me fully, or will you stay hesitant, jaded by my past
Happiness isn’t freedom but there’s freedom in happiness, none of which is forever, but I just want mine to last
I have two beautiful sons to father, that job is at the top of my list
I found more peace in realizing the things and the effects of what I’ve done…ignorance isn’t bliss
I fancy myself a romantic, maybe a woman will enchant me with her heart
I’m less vain, skin decays, and these days, love is an art
So I’m putting all my bad upfront on the welcome mat
All in hopes that you’ll greet me with open arms and saying “welcome back”
Love
Let Me Dive In
Let me dive in your mind
and come out with every diamond I find
Your blush, skin flush, from your blood rush, is a river of rubies
You shimmer, glow, and glitter like new jewelry
Your aura is a fire-like buoyance of blue and violet gemstones
Pearls adorn your smile, canary heat perfectly bathes your skin tone
Sapphire sets fire to your nails, aurora like highlights illuminates your hair
Pink birthstones flourish upon the surface of your lips, honey-dew and flecks of green Emeralds litter your glare
You are more elemental than flesh
Your background is laden with gold encrusted river beds
Costly your value, uncapped by the rarity of your form
A cosmic collage of organic cosmetology, meets cosmopolitan flamed by confidence, makes you foreign
I can wear you in your birthday suit, and receive the grandeur of Forbes
Melancholy Medusa, captivated yet frozen by the platinum gaze of your orbs
I dig you, a romantic excavation of your hearts ore
Crystal clarity, diamond beauty…let me dive in your hardcore
I-O-U-A-Y
I tear apart your words so I can read through your letters better
my favorite excuse inside every envelope, enclosed are the wrongs I write..PS You and I forever
we both thrive of honesty, my vow in every vow and consonant
like, I-O-U-A..Y
I keep tearing at your confidence
maybe afraid that you’ll leave, my opinion is you downgraded
maybe I feel filthy laced with guilt from all of the women to which I found favor
none worth a second thought, you fill me with second thoughts
second guessing every moment, I can’t make up for the seconds lost
how can I adorn silver and gold, thought I cut at the surface of a diamond
the paradox of burying our love, yet value is found from mining
my disposition towards you is that of material possession
though I handle you with less care than a brand new watch and necklace
I try to cover you up so you won’t be seen by opportunity
but I fear you already hide in plain sight and I’m blinded by my insecurities…
Chemistry
I thought I was over you
yet again I lied to myself
and let you get the best of me-
I grabbed you quick
helpless in my grip
as I squeeze you by the neck recklessly-
I was numb to how you might feel
my eyes blazed in that moment
dilated with impulse-
so consumed in anguish
I drank every bit of your being
a cold rush down my throat-
instant gratification every time
I lift you up and throw you down
my favorite color brown-
I willingly drown in you, message in a bottle
the taste of sweet misery..
but I love our chemistry-
Fool Moon
I’m a fool within the lunar and..
I see the moon inside you
I may just howl inside you..(ahhrooooh!)
if there is room inside you
guide me to the womb inside you
I become unglued inside you
subdued, then become brand new inside you
I might just jump the broom inside you
may morph into a groom inside you (I do)
I am cocooned inside you
any moment I may bloom inside you
I may stay long enough to meet my doom inside you
but it won’t come too soon inside you
I change along with the moon cycles that cycle inside you
so be aware of the werewolf, that can not survive in spite being inside you
Pain
Pain
Is a flower that must grow
Through a soil that is only enriched by tears
We can never understand the purpose in its process
But if we choose to
We can see the beauty that blossoms
And the clarity inhaled through its nectar
So pain, becomes purpose, becomes love
Love is persistent
And though it may die
You can’t change the fact…that it existed