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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Love

Chance

October 10, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

There you are

looking so much better up close-

than I imagined from a distance,

I needed to see you

to better understand the hype

thoughts of you have been consistent,

maybe it’s a sign

hearing you in everyone’s dialogue

your name is quite persistent,

being locked away for years

if I met you

wondering if my life would be different,

I suppose that you’re like most

and rather experience connections near you

probably not liking the distance,

but image to be honest with you

after seeing so many of the same faces

I’m ready willing and wanting our visit,

hopefully I’d handle the pressure well

raw beauty is hard to confront

especially when it exceeds what I’ve envisioned,

but I want you in your fullness

and every promise I’m told that accompanies you

pronounced without any inhibitions nor limits,

I admit I was a critic

a cynic in wake of crickets, but I get it

your name is Chance, and all I ask for is a minute

Filed Under: Love

Wonder-full

October 3, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I’ve finally noticed

sometimes it’s best to be really measured in your Who, What and When

because most won’t understand Why

I’m Wonderful

Filed Under: Love

Feel

September 23, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

The thing about feelings is

if you turn off the noise in your head

feelings speak your beautiful truth

without a word uttered

need anything be said?

Feelings don’t know how to lie

but I do, and so do you

just feel

Filed Under: Love

Cost to Change

August 31, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Money!
That is the barometer of change
Those who have it vs those whom don’t
Those that have it are most capable to effect change
While those who don’t, can only appeal to that dollar
Us broke and broken have cried out to the immortality of the American dollar

Us who have built this country and collectively own only a stark 1.8% of our own land
We have pleaded and died for gains in this country
We have conformed for your love, attention and promise of equality
But still we get nothing
Still we are unseen
Unheard
Unfelt
And barely sympathized
And empathized for
Yet overly rationalized
Objectified
And subjected
To the crass treatment of this country’s elite and preferred class and color

We have been puppeteered
And tap danced
To entertain you
And you have only accepted us as nothing more than that
Entertainment
When we attempt to succeed and speak beyond those boundaries
We are shunned
Stunted
And thwarted
Placed within skinny secluded and limited boundaries and paradigms
Of inclusion
Yet spoken against as if our lack of broad achievement is nothing more than our inability-
Given the equal chance we are offered
While routinely picked over
Supposedly being over or under qualified
And implicit bias being the improvable elephant in the room
The truth is
Our gain, is perceived as a direct threat to white Americans whom desire to protect their positions At the top of the ladder of decision and discernment in this american experience-
With it’s hopes and freedoms
We get decimated and exploited socially
Educationally
Psychologically
Politically
Procedurally
Systemically
Culturally
Geographically
Spiritually
Economically
And legislatively-
All throughout our legal system with the police, prosecutors, prisons and parole system
The problem is that money determines human value
And therefore scales us as necessary liabilities and expenditures
But unnecessary beneficiaries and unworthy proprietor’s
Limiting our potential for capital and stake in this country and in our own future
Money has largely determined our futures for us
People with money whom discern our experience and legitimize our limitations
Quelling our efforts with their resources
Once freed we weren’t given the keys to our own freedom
Only the illusion of
Change is sketched on a cost benefit analysis
Where loss is the metric for true change and gain
Yet loss is overly feared and acted against
Therefore making change rigid
If not improbable at best
With change comes along skin in the game-investment
And given our investment in this country we have the worst ROI in the history of mankind
We’ve always been on the wrong side of modern history with promises and gains
While people complain about money lost
We have been taking financial, bodily and providential hits for over 4 centuries
So we don’t wanna hear about money loss
We wanna see the money spent
Since we can’t fairly get a seat at the table and create our own wealth with equal opportunity
Because we have created more than enough equity and paid astronomically more than our Weight in gold to this country’s building and upkeep as leaders of the free world
We created the power and braggadocio able to be lived
Our sweat, blood and lives made way for the idea privilege and global hierarchy us Americans enjoy


Put up or shut up
Just like in business,
If you really want the real estate then money talks
You say we matter well show us
Because if the colors on this end of the spectrum were in contrast, uproar and a flood of money Would be thrown at the problem
If not all out societal bedlam given the entitled attitude of most white Americans
And the pocket checks is what tilts the checks and balances of this country
The lack of resources is the primary reason for crime rising in impoverished communities
So don’t look at our communities and scathe us with your uninformed judgement
Poverty creates crime
Disproportionate resources make that happening a more static reality because the cut off of Those resources needed is what keeps the status quo safe
It’s what keeps the suburbs looking down and at a distance from true iniquities and inequalities!
So in case you didn’t know where I was going with this
There’s a reason why the money is funneled up
And the pain and its oppressive instigators reign down and rain on the bottom of the ladder
Flooding the lowest of us
And no one seems to care until their ankles get wet
While we’re drowning in this country’s consistent wrongs to us
One of two of its biggest debtors that has yet to collect on what’s owed
It almost feels like this country is the crook looking down on the helplessness and gullibility of it’s victims
While we ask
Why are you doing this
And all you do is offer pennies to the dollar of what’s been stripped from us inside and out
And we can’t even sue for pain and suffering
Because you created the kangaroo court that will proceed in favor of your ill-gotten gains
Citing survival of the fittest, natural selection and irreconcilable differences saying it’s our fault
We shouldn’t have been suckers and allowed ourselves to fall prey to your carnivorous hunger and insatiable thirst
Smugly saying spoils of war, sore loser
You’ve kept us broke
You prefer us broken and at times succeeded
But you still can’t eliminate us
Because still we rise
And we are here and will remind you everyday that we will not remain forgotten
That we will not remain victims
And this country will know and acknowledge the pain we feel because we are done going away silently in the night
Being lost to political rhetoric and the convenience of another headline
We will be that inconvenient disruption to the everyday programmed schedules of your privilege and ignorance
The revolution will not only be televised and internalized
It’s inherited
So it will be expressed and externalized with gusto, with ferocious spirit and personal pride
Because bottom line
We’re more than a bottom line
But for change, we have to affect your bottom lines
Money…

Filed Under: Culture, Love, Trauma

Paint Poems

August 28, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I paint moments and put them in poetry
cuz if I rapped it most would attack it and see me as a mass of blacks packed in the back of the lower class seeking fast cash braggin about designer fashion bags veiling interior baggage, your interest had me catfished! cuz I’m not the preferred status or catholic with chapstick ready to latch my lips to your ass-kissed, like toiletries..
so I paint moments in poetry
hoping you will focus and notice me
My poetry, depending on how its said can sound like rap, but rap, depending on how its said can sound like poetry. And so can country rock r and b folk and indie and any other song writing…its about expression, but what carries it is the personal views and perceptions of those that read it. Some prefer me in a box and grateful, while others encourage me seeing how I am like so many more and my voice along with others can help bring a new wave and generation of society socially…Love is lost because hate is so easy. You don’t find love in the dictionary, you only get its name there.
The things we try to over explain with the absence of experience, how can you explain prison if you’ve never lived it or if you don’t realize this prison of self? We dilute effect and understanding without empathy and experience. Its not lost on me that I am a black felon, and how that’s not a surprising sentence, title, or identity. What also isn’t lost on me is that in have the tools to change these perception because I am educated, perceptive, and talented enough to help change the narratives, openly wearing my flaws and heart in plain sight to encourage many more.

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Love

Pros’ Poems

August 13, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Don’t walk away from me
don’t build a fortress
and forest
our fortune
forcing
our forfeit
forgive me for my
informal forums
forages

I wish I could jump from the knowing
in mid-wonder
diving into the deepest mystery
treading vast possibilities
but I can’t swim
so reality
is where I land
no questions asked with every step
on sure, mundane, monotonous ground
unknowing of the unknown
ignorance,
the enemy of bliss
prisoned innocence
prison, in a sense

The fact that it takes belief
to believe,
shows an essence of
trust,
trust me.
I hope
you trust
my faith
in our fate
but I need you
to
believe
me
first
trust me.
Therein
lies
belief
in us,
by
gaining
trust.

I’m more than I know
less what you think
can’t give myself credit
yet, obsessed with critique
I find worth in process
I am a working product
I am a work in progress
my poetic work is promise
I am product
process
progress
promise
I am Profit.

I miss this
smell- intoxicating aroma
touch- honey milk softened skin
taste- nectar oozing off tongue and lips
sound- harmonic pitch
sight- visions only explained in dreams
You take up my senses
You make sense
Ever since, our disconnect
I’ve been senseless

Impression felt
lasting impressions
dig deep
hold on
tight
tattoo my flesh
with the pressure of must
have,
in your finger tips
exuding raw love
for us
fighting hard
to never let go
never let go
scar me
with burning passion
absorbed by
french manicured need..
nails,
my skin flares
then fileted
giving way
to will
fear has no feat
when feeling
is unexplainably deep
these moments
when rush of pain
symbolizes
infallible love
-symbiotic, love and pain-

sometimes, you can’t chance, taking a certain stance, in certain circumstances
“Sir, come stand”
go head..search my stance

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Love

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

Read More

  • Whose Mind is it Anyway June 30, 2022
  • Objects June 30, 2022
  • Same Thang, Different Name June 30, 2022
  • Optical Ill-lusions June 30, 2022
  • Hollow Symbols June 30, 2022

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