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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Love

Plucked Flowers

October 24, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

We’re all plucked flowers

paying attention to the surface

while the reality beneath is of decay

maybe it mirrors us

Who are we when the water and sun touches us?

What is your water and sun?

How preserved is that superficial beauty we hold onto?

Is our surface just a symbol of décor

while what’s inside dies slowly

holding onto when it was once grounded

But once it became display for the world

slowly, day by day

it lost itself

stuck in a vase

taking form in the many aesthetics we run to

but uh, everyone knows a pulled flower is dying right

literally right before your eyes

and as you try to hold onto that gift of vanity and love

life overruns you

and like your shallow desires

you eventually decay along with them

wilting away inside far before you let on to your truth externally

how long will you die inside

uprooted from your truth

before you escape that lie

and get back grounded in your truth

where your roots stretch

connecting to everything deep

your dirt is your truth

your dirt is your soil

our shame is where we grow

taking ourselves out of that shame by fear

only traps us within the superficial dirt

that clings to us

never again feeling clean

no matter what we seek as our water and sun

Filed Under: Culture, Love, Mercy

Amygdala, Prefrontal Cortex Wars

October 22, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I’m overly stimulated yet numb

if I get overstimulated, I’m numb

prefer to be over stimulated, or I’ll be numb

I have to feel to feel

or I won’t feel

though I’ll never feel

because I’m numb

mapping a neurological mind

of a man traumatized

since he was young

Filed Under: Inside, Love, Trauma

Errday my birthday

October 21, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I die so much daily

living to reflect on the happening the next day

surprised I’ve survived

when I think so often

and succumb to frequently

my own death

but there’s a rebirth

unfolding like a cocooned butterfly

eagerly meeting its first horizon

resurrected,

I’ve lived again

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Love, Trauma

Entrapped

October 21, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

There’s never enough time
when time is all you need
thinking back,
time and time again
I’ve noticed,
that time is all I ever wanted
yet I haven’t had it for such a long time
even though I’ve been sentenced to time
imprisoned within its construct
counting down arbitrary calendars until I can be free from it
heh, free from time
is that a paradox?
or simply, life?
Usually that line of phrasing runs rampant with foreshadows of mortality.
Well,
whatever you wanna call it
it seems I’ve spent my whole life,
trying to escape one prison,
or another
either the prison of past
the prison of present
and the ominous prisons of presumption,
pretense,
and prejudice
all which mesh sporadically,
careening my tomorrows-
a path personally paved by perspective passion and pain-
where therein lies,
the slowly progressing process of-
any promise or promises promised
or provisioned-
caged within this imprisoning paradigm of time.
Time is free
but it’ll cost you everything
because nothing can buy it
and NOTHING,
but a heartbeat,
can escape it.
Although powerless to it’s illusionary onslaught-
even the mind knows-
that time,
is entrapment
and I seek freedom inside my mind
but there’s no freedom inside of time
until you’re out of time
and these moments inside-
of prison,
or time-
I find myself traumatized
but this day I will celebrate that trap that I survive in spite
and thrive inside
so happy birthday to me-
dying slowly
but I’m forever alive inside
YoungR.U.S.S.

Filed Under: Inside, Love

Need you to need me

October 16, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I just want to feel useful

like I need it

I have this bottomless desire to just be able to do anything

to constantly be of service

or I feel like I’ve bottomed out

I need to be needed

I need you to need me

need me please

please, need me

Filed Under: Love

I’m off

October 12, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I don’t feel good

or normal

unless something is wrong

“what’s wrong?”

ME!

“huh?”

what

“whats wro?”

EVERYTHING!

Filed Under: Love, Trauma

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

Read More

  • Whose Mind is it Anyway June 30, 2022
  • Objects June 30, 2022
  • Same Thang, Different Name June 30, 2022
  • Optical Ill-lusions June 30, 2022
  • Hollow Symbols June 30, 2022

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