Woman
oh, woman
wherefore art thou
how can your mystery be solved?
why do I believe that you are just to be desired
and your words only entice
how can I not peer at your cleavage
and believe it an invite
how do I not salivate over your angles
and succumb to an appetite
why do I turn your gaze into a wick
fueling me to ignite
how can even your cordial laughs and casual touches
become an added attribute that incites
why do I sexualize your every nuance
seeing you for far less than your insight
why do I fantasize less of sunlight in your presence
dreaming more of midnights
why does my male ego and its exploits
believe your advancements a personal plight and indict
woman
oh woman
how doth my quandary
or am I just left to evolve?
Cast Away
Preyed upon by light
I pray for darkness
a grim body cast
shielding my skin from the eyeing rays of exposure
to which I fought my whole existence
having yet to live
These stark contrasts battle inside
at war with light
darkness will suffice
who doesn’t hide
I rather hide
I…. need….. to….. hide….
for peace of mind
exposure steals a piece of my-
peace of mind
too hard to confide
within these lighted confines
as if I’m sequestered by detectives
I feel the building of pressure
fumbling my coerced existence
it’s not easy from this point of view
being a spectacle
amongst the biggest spectator
my truth isn’t one size fit all
so why speak what wouldn’t be believed
I’m nothing and no one to be believed
or believed in
believe me
what’s belief but a strong thought
I’m too weak for any strength to be invoked upon
or summoned from me
faith doesn’t exceed beyond my fingers
nor sight
I see more at night seizing my nocturnal sunshine
please keep me asleep in the light of day
fore if I come to, I may be blind
shadows captured and depicted
on the outer feathers of your wings
what’s a candle’s glow inside of the sun
still hidden,
so even you, light, can be hidden
only to the darkness can you be seen
but I bid you good riddens
because you arrive without permission
enchanting my vision as with any glow
beautiful promises arise
either advertised, or implied
so imagine a bug’s surprise
allured to light
just to die
with not enough time lasting regrets of all kinds
you’re clever darkness-
your blanket is poised, peaceful, serene
though the light cuts at you with its mighty sharp and searing sword
slicing a seam of ripped unknown and within one crack you are soon probed,
discovered then destroyed
there’s never been enough room for you both like me,
darkness you’re so misunderstood
light is anything but understanding
empathetic or compassionate
its savage-like and impulsive!
raging its way through everyone’s life
conceding to nothing and no one.
A power truly unchecked
laughing at its counterbalance’s weak attempts
my regrets
my shame
my hurt
my heartache
my trauma
my truth
All vulnerable now because of your insincerity
I’m victimized yet again
falling prey to your self righteous ego
what gives you such majesty
who grants your divine-like supremacy
why are you more weapon to each wound revealing my wreckage
causing more hurt than healing
more nakedness than clothing
more questions than answer
more fear than love
boastfully claiming my access to fulfillment
decreeing my wholeness, telling me to stand upright
while the gravity of your shine buckles my knees
bearing the weight of your accusations
I am no masochist
how could I exalt my own torment
I feel like a sheep within the jaws of a wolf
never wanting your company
only privacy,
now my secrets to bare
embarrassingly my privates peered at by peers
I’m not ready
you force me
you push me
you entice and egg me on
leading me astray leaving me stranded to deal with my unfolding
my feared undoing
I held it together for so long but now I’m unraveled like the flowers
you shine down on
who are you to look down on me
you’re no different than the others
at least darkness comforts clothes and blankets me
coming around me like a warm embrace
not looking down at me like scalding discipline I’ll never…
wait someone is looking at me
someone sees me
how could…?
everyone is seeing me
noticing me
as I walk by
even moving around instead of thru me
oh great they’re just avoiding me
now that’s worst than being invisible
now that they see me, how could they now ever stand to look at me?
to be seen is to want to be loved but who will love me more questions more fears you see?!
torment
how can you see me
why do you even see me
why haven’t you turned away
turning yourself off in my unveiling
I’m no beautiful bride of any kind
a lowly morsel or shell of a man human,
more like it
I’m no gift,
I’m unpleasant just presently a presented present of pretense a peasant with no presence
and still you allow me
to stand in your glory
casting my own shadow
I have a shadow?!
before you…
all I’ve ever been was a shadow
how am I deserving of a follower
how is my symmetry worth outlines
I thought myself deformed now…
reformed without saying a word
you said all there ever was to say
showing me what my mind couldn’t conceive
just look at myself
lights embrace my arrival cascading in my wake
never leave me again fore I wasn’t ready for you
but now I’m unready without you
every fear hasn’t dissipate
quite a few still bubble at my surface
but I blend in
just another promising spirit to be shined upon
and darkness now casted away.
Out the Blue, True Friend, True Sister, True Angel
I started believing in myself cuz u believed in me
and if u believe in it
then I always think to put my beliefs in it
then like the flower blooming from the concrete, I leave it cemented
and I’ve been relentless with my dreams since u woke me up
and if my mind is going nowhere fast, u somehow slow me up
I’ve been a man for years but u help to me grow me up
becuz at times I fall beneath my potential and u keep me owning up
I don’t know how u understand me
or even how u stand me
I really feel like we family
if we not, then what is a family
therapeutic when I can hear about your life just from this vantage
or if we talking prose of a con or talking Randi
u see me whole, even tho I’m damaged
and when it get too hard, u come in and help me manage
u always putting my struggles in perspective
with an effortless touch, u easily clear my perception
to me, in 31 years you’ve lived a life of perfection
that’s including the years and moments you’ve been prone to regret
tho it all worked for the glory of…so u shouldn’t regret it
the way I view u may be a lil excessive
but when preserving a symbol you gotta be protective
cuz when u choosing a best friend u gotta be selective
and when it comes to getting questions answered I come to u without a question
besides the question
I’ve relied on lesser
but I never have to worry about that when I head your direction
ever since my chipped tooth smile in that clustered colored sweater
when your hair touched your Achilles
you been the beezneez
I was blind and u helped me see things
now I can embrace my nature and behold what the breeze brings
back since tether ball and loose shoe strings
and the infatuation with mood rings
when I landed out the blue in two springs
you know back when u had hoop dreams
I’ve always known two things
that’s two deuces
and the definition of what ‘out the blue’ and ‘True’ means
my new life started after I met u though the contrast at first was too much
who would’ve known 20 or so years later this be our story and my new life would start again after we got in touch
you are the epitome of Grace and I love you to infinity and beyond!
keep your proximity
she looked out the window
but she’s scared of heights
she looked out the door
its too cold outside
she lives in fear
fairy tales seem realer
she thinks love’s a horror flick
crusading emotional thrillers
so she hates Michael Jackson
cuz she only see’s a wolf
inside she’s just a sheep
alone on her hoofs
she’s escaped by details
she thinks what she sees is the truth
but remember, she believes in fairy tales
so real, isn’t proof
she’s complicated
but she’s basic
her body sacred
so she saves it
she’s abrasive,
she’s evasive
people are too invasive
she hates her space invaded
mixed feelings with religion…
her worst fear, are critics
fitting clothes, but keep your distance
don’t cross her line of scrimmage
she likes attention, but with limits
touching, needs permission
because she freezes in an instant
her past, is never mentioned
more than just a witness, she’s a victim…
so she looks out the window
but she’s scared of heights
and she looks out the door
its still too cold outside
see, she lives in fear
fairy tales feel realer
she thinks love’s a horror flick
reoccurring nightmares of Thriller
seeking serenity
Serenity, sweet serenity
surrendered at the hands of insanity
soul searching serpents
satisfy my sulking surface like sugar servings
solemnly sorting thru symptoms of shame
solutions in solace summoned,
slowly. shame. succumbs-
like solvent salts shrinking swollen glands
sinking inside the sunken seams of a sarcophagus
soaring in my deep sleep
seeking serenity,
sweet, sweet serenity
energy never dies
Opposites, no..
compliments attract
repelling and compelling
life is so
lust is so so
love is soooo compelling
energy attracts energy
united, a force
I reckon
together
we’re a force
unstoppable
immovable
majestic masters of gravity
the world is ours
as long as we’re one
but
if you want more
well…
compelling,
how oneness can become so repelling
but
energy attracts energy
so
someone else
somewhere
will be equally as compelling