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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Spirit

Love Challenge

January 20, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Truth or Dare?

Love somehow has always been hard to receive, and only selectively given in my experience, maybe its the same with you? But Love at its core shouldn’t have qualifiers, maybe intimate Love, but not the basis of Love. That’s a hard concept to conceive somehow, maybe its that way because we don’t all view ourselves as equal and describe people by their difference. I guess with social norms involving communication that target a persons features before it accepts a persons sameness, no wonder its hard to see us as all the same. Its been hard for me to not either sexualize women, or compete with and size up another man based off how I view him next to myself-a view which cant be that great if people are automatically a challenge or fantasy in my limited lens comparing who I was and how’d that image would fit with what I viewed the other person to be. So I tried, and am trying this “Love Challenge”. Because we are all one, we are all people, we are all one race, and color is a feature, background is an explanation, culture is a facet, language is communication, clothing is a comfort, opinion is a preference, habit is a choice, life is an experience and perception is an understanding…but none of these are things that make us different at our core. So how can we just focus on Loving one another? Well I figure, instead of trying to acquire these qualifiers of who a person is, what they did or do, what they like or believe…we just focus on Loving them because they are people and deserving of Love, just as you are. How many times do you hear something about a person and instantly you judge it to the person you believe yourself to be, and that judgement decides if this person is worthy of your Love and how much of it you will give? That;s not right, Love shouldn’t be value based, that is a means of separation, not inclusivity. Because make no mistake about it, interacting is an act of Love, life is a proclamation of Love, smiling is a show of Love, greetings are a symptom of Love, what we do, can be an act of Love in all its forms if we choose it to be, while stripping away our blockers, and seeing thru the lens of Love. So here’s the challenge, go up to a person and say, “I Love You, I don’t know you and I don’t need to, because it doesn’t matter, you deserve Love and deserve to know that you are Loved regardless of anything else because it is not my business”. Given that Love should be a natural gift and present for us, we should all react beautifully, but since we don’t treat Love with the Love it deserves, we will see the truth, the damage we’ve done to ourselves and this world, because most people reaction will not display comfort and gratitude. But you can’t deny the affects of an act of Love, they will think on it all day, and will more likely speak about it and repeat it because how it made them feel, just as you will continue the act because how it made you feel! Maybe a friend will be gained, an important dialogue will be struck, a life will be changed and saved, or at the bare minimum, you showed someone something other than hate fear and indifference, sending positive energy out into the world and it will manifest the same positive energy back(reciprocity). So if I can say this to men- of all people, in prison- of all places, with a smile and contentment regardless of the response, than you have no excuse…try it once and remember how it made you feel, it’ll change you for the better! Then maybe you’ll treat Love better, hence treating people better, and treating yourself better proclaiming out loud who you are and what you and everyone else deserves…which is Love. There shouldn’t be a prerequisite time or moment to confess Love, the time is now! Love isn’t cliche nor taboo, hate fear intolerance indifference and separation should be! Instead we should be inseparable from

Love!

No matter who you are, I Love You!

#lovechallenge

I dare you!

Rules: when you see familiar people or unfamiliar people, you have to tell them that you love them, with no filler words, you are able to explain the why, but you have to be direct sincere and compassionate about it no matter the reaction you receive, be content and smile and either move on or share dialogue and let Love take you where it does and take a mental inventory of how people respond to you and how you begin to feel throughout the week. Embrace the discomfort, its where life begins!

You have to do this for a full week! but I bet you’ll make a habit of it

the moment the word comes to your mind, don’t hold it in, spew it almost unconsciously, because that’s how frequent Love deserves to be given, unconsciously automatic. Our spirit is endearing, so be who you are at your core-endearing, which is tirelessly Loving, mindful, compassionate, empathetic, welcoming, and unifying

Be contagious and spread it

ready?

set?

Love!

Filed Under: Culture, Love, Spirit

Believe Me You

January 20, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Believe Me You

the surface is see thru

some things you just need to see it thru

and maybe you’ll see Me in you

instead of wrapping yourself up in seeing things with reasoning and meanings that is only seasonal

Believe Me You

we’re all one, so I believe in you

because it is I, Me, We, that I see in You

everything is not what it seems, if the seam is between Me and You

separated only by genes, not color schemes, and material means that should mean nothing more than things to You

fall in love with the process, even pain, because experiences thru out the years only serve to season You

reality is what you make of it, knowledge isn’t bland, so experience is seasoned food Believe Me You

I see a theme of dreams in You

Love, is how I’d choose to speak to You

because God is Love, and Love is all, so even if We never meet, I hope Love is what I mean to You

We’re God’s creation, so We never would have to greet for Me to see who I’m speaking to

You may not know Me, though I think of You oh, and the world is what I think of You!

I can still Love You even if I don’t agree with You your individuality is what I hope is woken and stays free in You

I pray You never believe there’s limits to what a Life of Love can bring to You the gift of Darkness is that You know Light, and I see deep that your Light has high beams and gleams in you

Believe Me You

I is We, so hopefully I can lean on you

your roots produce the fruits you reap, I see the tree in You

bask in your sprouting growth and worry less of leaves leaving You

your Spirit is Eternal, your body and this world only has a lease on You

don’t corrupt your mind by letting temporary things speak for You

Faith is believing in things unseen and reasoning with the unbelievable

the only Time is Now, thoughts manifest your moment, so basing tomorrow from the past is unfeasible

no matter who and where You are, I have Faith right Now I’m reaching You

Believe Me You

Me is You

if You see the ‘We’ in ‘Week’, not weak, because We will see it thru

Filed Under: Culture, Love, Mercy, Spirit

New Cellys

January 20, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

new cellys..

sharing living arrangements

that isn’t…no

that Ain’t Easy!

it never is its the worst news

getting a new celly that you didn’t choose

even celling with some friends

yaw kinda kool outside the room

but living together is a whole other issue

sharing food space and trust

its an intrusion, privacy is big

do they have their own stuff

this they first time in prison or not

do they know how to do time

are they institutionalized

“…aye Young Russ, who your celly?”

Idk, he from Lincoln

I just left so he could move his things in

“you didn’t screen him, what color is he?”

I didn’t feel like talking…I’ll rap with him later

shit, couples in love can barely live together

and now I have to search for compatibility

or cope with being uncomfortable

sharing testosterone ain’t easy

this room ain’t big enough for the both of us!

I got my schedule

you moved in

fit in…or get out

don’t snore

I snore

don’t fart

or flush them and burn the scents

clean up

make your bed

you take showers?

you got soap?

wipe the water off the sink

wipe the toilet seat

wash your hands

don’t be in here all day!

I need my space and alone time too

what’s your name?

what’s your charge?

where you from?

don’t touch my stuff

oh, you know him?!

that’s what’s up!

My name WayOfLife

or you can call me Young Russ,

I’m koo kinda goofy

but chill mostly

my schedule is like this and that

that koo?

fuhsho how much time you got left

damn that’s crazy

we just might get along

what’s your story?

you hungry?

you need anything?

can you see the TV?

you break, you buy

otherwise mi casa y su casa

but its mostly mi casa!

lol…but for real tho, you feel me?

protect the fort with your life, aight

no visitors after 8

my shows are on

u watch the voice?

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Mercy, Spirit

Still, He Did His Time

January 20, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

He did his time, sitting in place

travelling only in his mind

finding his spot, he sat

daily, and there

he was, and in that place he began

taking in the scenery

listening to the many voices, until

peace became his sound

viewing the same routines

same movements-different bodies, faces

he sat there, watching

absorbing the elements-

regardless the weather, because this was his routine,

there, he remained still

but he escaped

into the vast highways of his mind

learning more of himself

or maybe regretting what became of himself

despite the crashing of thoughts and emotions

trying to decipher which was what

stoically his demeanor prevailed

never letting on

a show of contemplation

nor contention

solemn, tranquil, still

he’d smile

laugh

talk

then, silence

vanishing within his mind

insurrecting to an uncrowded place

there’s only him

nothing can be, without his ascent

and as he sat

and sat

and sat

he became and remained free

free for the moment

(…yard closed!)

until now

so he got up

but we all knew

he’d be right back

that’s how he did his time, still

and still,

he did his time

his name was

Mr.E

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Mercy, Spirit

Jump

January 20, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Jump-

the bottom

is only what you make of it

jump with-

the bottom

is no longer scary

jump with me

the bottom

is just where we’ll leap from

now jump with me!

The bottom is what we’ll soar above

no fear, we’re flying now.

Filed Under: Culture, Spirit

Since I Dreamt of You

January 20, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Ever since I dreamt of you

I think of you, a lot

I look for you, and

I look at you even more

your essence and energy is like no other

but I can’t tell you

I can’t touch you

so what’s next… what more is there,

in these hollow hours I spend awake?

But to dream

I look forward to sleep

there-you are limitless

and I hope to dream dreams

where I will always know you

and may even hear you

touch you

tell you

I’m here

and then I ask you-

believing your vision

the experience of you

being too good to be true,

“is this a dream?”

because you feel too real

and that always scared me

but intrigued,

I admired from distance

you knew..

you know you saw me

you seen me

…shit!

You see me!

Filed Under: Inside, Spirit

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

Read More

  • Whose Mind is it Anyway June 30, 2022
  • Objects June 30, 2022
  • Same Thang, Different Name June 30, 2022
  • Optical Ill-lusions June 30, 2022
  • Hollow Symbols June 30, 2022

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