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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Spirit

God Process of Creation, Martyrdom, and Matriarchy

May 13, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Russell
created Young R.U.S.S.
to experience WayOfLife

God
created human beings
to experience God’s self

because

God is God
and God
made Man and Woman

therefore

we are gods
created by the God
in the form of Man and Woman

if

we are a form and expression
in and of God
then gods, we are

so I say

it is still ‘your’ arm that is cut off
and it is still
‘your’ art which your arm creates

what is separate or outside oneself
is still part of the self
just in a different form or expression

hence

undifferentiated self
creating differentiated forms of self
to experience self-
and self’s many forms and expressions

this is what God has done
and of God, this is what we do
as gods encased in flesh

sages adepts mystics masters and “saints”
have all said the same thing
“…ye are gods…”

this is too scary and responsible a title for us to just walk into
so we create walls of denials
that alleviate the symptoms from the grand meanings of our truth

this dispels of the ultimate reality of failure
and how we go about the being of self
in regards to truth, purpose, and being of and as God
as gods, in God’s lower form

with the divine ability to assimilate apotheosis
a higher form of consciousness and state of being

but ahhah

in the third century, this talk became heresy
to the Orthodox and dogmatic patriarchal views, conquests, and crusades
for power control suppression and oppression

all to quell rebellions
and
empowered individuals and spiritually liberated beings
along with women going about the business of being of own mind body and ability
those responsibilities now relegated to men

to free your mind
is to release it of all limitations and spiritual inhibitions

projecting prophecy…

the next great leader doesn’t need to be nor have to always be a man
in this world, there is a woman in need
not just one that breeds
but a woman in deed,
who becomes a woman that leads

and I am a man
ready and willing to follow a woman’s lead
in a world that should be led back to the illuminated consciousness and prosperousness of matriarchy

when divine metaphysics
inoculated both the land and the soul
physical and spiritual realities joined and set free within us all
duality

this woman will not be nor is the, Queen of England
but the Queen of Inland-the land of wisdom, spring of truth, and well of divinity inside us all
and to her, I bow

because she dies
for us to live
and she is reborn
within us all

continually risking her very life
to give life

God is all
both Him
and Her

but to expand on ourselves
every example of sacrifice and salvation for Man
doesn’t need to be only in the form of a Man
Man didn’t come first
that is a myth planted by patriarchy
and believed true over time
Man and Woman were created in the same breath
at the same moment
from an Androgynous God
that understood the purpose and perfection of both
which had nothing to do with the place
of one over the other
but the sound oneness of both beings
occupying this world, coming together
as one
creation

Filed Under: Love, Spirit

a bugs life

May 13, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

if i could speak
id tell you
dont bug me
bug off!
im not trying to bother you
im just being me
thats all i can be
being who, and what
i was designed to be
my purpose is no less
because i cant speak
because you think im weak
my purpose is no less
because you can swat at,
and step on me
because you are bigger
and more powerful than I am
we have the same source!
i am beautiful too
i even got a few wives
and baby mama drama
but i let them and my kids be
i dont bug them
why cant you give me the same courtesy
your life would be a lot different if i werent around
you just cant see it yet
but if you keep messing around
one day you’ll see
and by that time
it may be too late
you cant see what you do not appreciate
you cant take back a life you kill
though my body my paint the soles of your shoe
i still have a soul too
and my life matters as well
i feel you minorities
my black people and natives
my hispanics and asians
hell, even my women!
well until yaw start killing us!
perpetuating the cycle
where does it stop?
all life matters right?
or is killing and destruction,
just human nature?
but i get it, i see where you coming from
we all see
monkey see, monkey do
when you spend a lifetime
feeling so small
you look for anything to step on
to prop yourself up
as to not forever feel like the least
and lowest forms of life
i almost would embrace your swat
or shoe
if i didnt care for my own life as well
and if i ever stung or bit you
man i was just fighting fire with fire
so you would know that i am here
and i exist as well
i needed you to respect that
can you dig that?
because when we swarm or protest
fighting for our right to live
and to not be bothered
protecting our lives
yaw get all up in arms
throwing chemicals at us as well
to get us to disperse
but we cant go to jail
there is no equal medium
so we give our all in our fight
because its all we have to give
so its all or nothing
im telling you,
i get it
so get me, too

Filed Under: Mercy, Spirit, Trauma

Osmosis Immortality

May 9, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

the ideas we love
the idea of love
people
they are..
we are,
fungible pieces
of, and in,
the whole-
rather, the idea
and as we die
the idea
it must live on
as so shall we
in the amaranthine of love
and its omnipresent obeisance
or it would be that
our deaths
would be an allegory of perdition
a memory’s coup de grace
succumbing to a solemn, muted finality
and our lives
cloistered into obscurity
a sojourn of nihility
meandering to a wend of infinite futility
ideas
the ideas of love
the idea of love
you may go
but the idea,
it must stay

Filed Under: Love, Spirit

Whose Feelings are These?

May 9, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I don’t know
if
if
if
if I have e
if I have emo
if I have emotions!?!
or am I just selfish
would I rather you feel for me
feel what I am incapable of feeling
so I can experience what it may look like through you
and then I can repeat the action
or maybe I don’t want the weight
the weight of feeling alone
and so I want you to feel like I do
I want you to feel with me
so you can share this weight I bear
because I can not possibly carry the responsibility
I do not wish to will myself to hold it all
is guilt an emotion?
what of avoidance?
or impassiveness or apathy?
is the intense desiring of love,
and companionship an emotion
or is it too, selfish?
is desire itself, or lust, an emotion?
or is it too, selfish?
is longing or loneliness an emotion?
or is it too, selfish?
is jade or expectations an emotion?
or is it too, selfish?
is empathy an emotion?
or is it just mimicking?
if I feel what you feel, because you feel
is it what I feel?
or is it my desire to feel what another feels,
because I can not
or do not feel it in myself?
is wanting to feel an emotion?
or am I just addicted to wanting to feel?
is feeling, addicting?
what of being numb?
I
I
I
I just don’t know anymore

Filed Under: Inside, Love, Spirit, Trauma

Void

May 8, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

the full day echoes the shallowness of a shell
inside it as deadly as its surrounding
tranquility only finds its feet in chaos, peace is impossible
though, tranquility found in chaos, an impossible peace
claustrophobic this being encased to dwarfed ideas
in the autumn of company, loneliness still whispers its presence
like crumpled leaves
a star dies
evolution has yet outgrow solemnity
what, who was once familiar, now stranger
for I am the only change I recognize

Filed Under: Spirit

Act Out

May 8, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

what I know now
I can not let it go
it can not be forgotten
as what is now understood
peace is not meditated
peace is not prayed
peace is created
peace is a firm action
peace in itself
is a declaration of the self
as part of the whole
there is no self peace achieved
when others of the whole suffer
there is only dejection
isolation may offer rest
but it can not manifest true peace
I know now that
we are individuals only in body
not in truth
so that which I seek
is not only for myself
but for all
this knowing has inclined me to say
stand up
speak up
act up
or save your complaints
and false compassion
living your secluded life
because frozen feet
and distant voices
create nothing but meaningless noise
us peace seekers
peacekeepers
peace bringers
and peace bearers
can do without

Filed Under: Culture, Spirit

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

Read More

  • Whose Mind is it Anyway June 30, 2022
  • Objects June 30, 2022
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  • Optical Ill-lusions June 30, 2022
  • Hollow Symbols June 30, 2022

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