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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Spirit

Set the Intention to be Free

September 27, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

hello?
is this mic on?
are these lights on?
my thoughts when I was first born
after one big stretch, I came forth on this stage of life with a huge yawn
as I was reincarnated from infinity and beyond
a new destined truth had just spawned
from dusk,
til the settled dust and rust and specs of dirt and trampled earth before the next dawn
my vertebrae erect, my head held high, my chest expanded, my abdomen tightened, my breath deep as I opened my eyes and reached out my arms
I felt life
I embraced, life
even in prison, my body imprisoned, my body cast by the walls of prison, my body an extension of this prison caste system
I still feel life
and I want you all to feel it with me
then recreate with me
I want everybody reading or listening to this right now to be radicals!
I desire you to break down all the structures and their walls
all the names, labels, titles and definitions to the language you speak
I want you all to close your mind, open your hearts, turn up the volume of your spirits and dream with me!
clear your thoughts
ignore logic, forget age and be as free as a child with me
empty yourself of all emotions
and be as weightless as a feather
unconditioned
imagine feeling your being, being completely free
now draw forth your divine will and create with me in this moment
we are going to escape our bodies
we are going to transcend all forms
and recreate the canvass of existence from the undifferentiated mindset of complete oneness
colors only describe frequencies but have no names
justice will be recreated
truth will be whole and known
love will be inescapable
pain will be understood
joy will be the voice of the spirit
success will be the health of the world
earth will be the vehicle for experience
nature, the vehicle for the body
and your body the vehicle for God
and we will all walk in the embodied omnipresence of our creator!
expressing through the accessed powers of omniscience and omnipotence
influencing our realities through and only with, truth
emotions expressing our divinity, not insecurities
existing peacefully with our innately balanced being, and so we are
in harmony, synchronicity, serenity, serendipity
and so we are, the manifested order in the chaos
of darkness, confusion, and the illusions of loss
and so we are, One
and now, we create
with the duality of our being,
bodies encasing eternal spirits and nameless souls
combining both sacred and secular as a lifestyle
feminine and masculine, equal in our complimentary functions
reciprocity
righteousness
rapture
and let it be so, as we bring forth form to formlessness
and our kids run free with purpose
and us adults run free from prisons with our kids
in the likeness of God, together, with purpose

Filed Under: Mercy, Spirit

Living With Myself

September 27, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

if you could imagine for a second

what it’s like to be me, for one minute

an hour, would seem a lifetime to you

a day, purgatory

and a week, would turn you into the devil himself

but still I live without asking your help

or opinion

Filed Under: Mercy, Spirit, Trauma

Reborn King (Spoken Word)

September 27, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

and you are a newborn prince
or
a reborn king
and you have to pay the price
for generations before you
after you
and for your inherent state of being
a being in which humanity has become enemy
a being in which families are divided by cases pending
a being
which has been careened
by many seen and unforeseen
evil plots dreams and schemes
all that deem
you to limit your dreams
all that deem
for you to be blinded by material means
all that deem
to incarcerate oppress and marginalize your genes
all that deem
you to be in between the seams
or beneath
obscured from view
instead of the adornments of
crowns and wreathes
roses thrown at your feet
but in this new world, you tie on cleats
going to battle with predisposed defeat
and the breech
of being placed as least
and onto a leash
restricting the neck
the more it breaths
you can’t breath
the more it drinks
it leaks
the more it speaks
it squeaks
but you don’t squeal!
though battered by speech
bittering your speech
hindering your reach
disfiguring your peak
dismembering your feats
rendering you, bleak
rinse cycle on repeat
you’ve mourned your peace
they’ve torn you piece
by piece, scorned as weak
and still you reap!
and still you wreak!
havoc!
and the pungent odor of resilience
embrace your stink
but hold your head high above your sink
look right into that mirror
mirror, image of self, image
mirror, an answer to questions
mirror, reflection of deceptions
mirror, conception of inception
mirror, absorption of illusion
mirror, destiny of direction
mirror, digestion of message
message of vantage
vantage of anguish
anguish abandoned
inside all of your damage..

despite it you manage
you fight disadvantage
you fight for revival
you fought for disciples

you fight for your life stillllll
you fight thru the lies stilllll
you don’t have your eyes sealed
you don’t need no blindfold

you already know how time goes

damn, where the time go
you was just a Tyco
but now you a psycho
its part of the vicious, cycle
no pardon for rights that all fight to indict you
I said, no pardon for rights that all fight to indict you
you still keep your eyes glued
you can’t afford for opportunities to fly by you
because they are rarely ever, right by you
with a good girl by your side down to ride right beside you
embracing the waves of life’s tidals
as hope and defeat outline and spike your vitals
coping through trials and pill vials
projectile bile across floor tiles
as pride was piled
inside of your stomach track, where it remained idle
because life is baptism by fire
and your skin is the explosive proof
so you have inherited every struggle possible
so when you are ready, there can be nothing that keeps you
from propelling higher
because your imagination and will won’t tire
though your tires won’t stop rolling
because you were born
a reborn king

Filed Under: Mercy, Spirit

I Dreamed Reflections

September 1, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I dreamed I fell asleep in a sarcophagus…
after swallowing intoxicating thoughts of martyrdom and a coming apocalypse,
like oxygen traveling down my esophagus
mulling over pellets…
and cartridges

contemplating Ancient Egyptian encrypted inscriptions
for prescriptions
and their usage of the uniquely symmetrical feathers of an ostrich
coupled with their affinity for the lotus-like a botanist

I go into, deep trances of travel, but for now,
any hypothesis is pocketed
for when more time in the sublime can be deposited
decoding formless images from my third eye’s oculus
realizing any pursuit of happiness I once admitted to
and conceived of, can’t be reminisced without an asterisk

wondering if,
a spiritual life could be more than obscure and monotonous
or had I even began that lifestyle yet,
had my desire for instant gratification become too dominant
trying to, make too much senseless sense out of senselessness

revisiting the resulting consensus of a carnal thirst quenched versus
how a life of moderation-
no attachments, and sensual deprivations
can somehow seem so preposterous

could I, choose and discern beyond what isn’t already visually obvious
or is my attempts at self-restraint a half-hearted mockery
detailing my own hypocrisies

this unyielding feeling fills veiled shields like windmills,
which till fields, and tilts and stilts, instills chills, distills thrills
and peels reels of still hills,
as both height and depth equally builds and feels so ominous

because my scattered pursuance metaphors the same littering of various condiments
just to spike my responses to my ebbing confidence
chasing shock values for fraudulent acknowledgment
inconsequential accomplishments

and
nostrums for self-inflicted problems
exhaled out my flared nostrils ad nauseum
until nauseous yet noxious and obnoxiously posturing
as emotions have become more and more disconsolate

too much homage to the mirage of impermanent gods
and opulence-
consecrated and idolized like Amen Ra

I need a-
literal miracle, a physical sign,
not just lyrical drivel, but a spiritual symbol
my name evolved to WayOfLife

as I, hold up my Ankh as a monument
for my own innocuous symbol of an ancestral historical and ethereal conduit
while my day to day plays in a mix of gray shades haze and opalescence

bounding through rifts and this mystifying mist of imbalanced emotions,
a lost self, and patterned mind trips, amidst oppositions and consequences

mine mine mine!-apostrophe

I’d be remiss
if I didn’t admit that I’ve sought exits
when I didn’t feel as if,
I truly ever existed

I need less syllables,
more sounds,
more vows and less consonants

I need less country
and more continent

less promises
and less prominence

more community
more common ground
more more more continuity
more commitment
more high morale
and more moral competence honestly

then, I raised from
things dreamed, praised, preyed on, and prayed for
in my sarcophagus
taking in and letting go-
the deepest breath of a new revelation’s oxygen

walking to a park silently,
where I would
ponder skipping rocks across a pond, reflexively reflecting
on the void in my heart and the emotional lump in my esophagus

intuiting purpose and divine intelligence constantly at work working within my consciousness
and those rocks I skipped
were really pellets
from dissected cartridge

Filed Under: Culture, Spirit, Trauma

Damnit

September 1, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

the man got me by the balls
the devil got me by the ankles
I try to find a rock and a hard safe place
to hide my heart
but my head gets in the way
…this is funny

Filed Under: Inside, Spirit, Trauma

Divine

September 1, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Son of Soul
god in Spirit
Man in body
King in the Flesh
God in the Flesh
I Am.

Filed Under: Spirit

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

Read More

  • Whose Mind is it Anyway June 30, 2022
  • Objects June 30, 2022
  • Same Thang, Different Name June 30, 2022
  • Optical Ill-lusions June 30, 2022
  • Hollow Symbols June 30, 2022

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