Taboo, just because me and my sons’ mothers aren’t together doesn’t mean I can’t have a great open committed friendship for the respect of each other and the good of our kids right?! I want that more than anything. Why do people frown on that and act like all breakups or unexpected outcomes spell a permanent dysfunction? Shit just doesn’t workout at times, but you can’t forget the kids feelings, right? Because they feel more than they know how to communicate. So that’s my goal, to be a great and supportive friend of my sons’ mothers, maybe we all can come together one day for the sake of our sons. I think it can happen, I’ve seen it. I’m absent but no dead beat, many parents should seek mutual reconciliation with each other and get out of their own way and feelings because it may stunt the child’s growth. All situations are different and take more or less trial and error. There is no right or wrong way as long as you try and make a way.
Love
Prose: Love story
Everyone wants love, or the illusion of it. Most like a good love story! Even convicts. One of my favorite movies is “The Notebook” I realized it this year though I saw it before I came, you really can find yourself in the strangest places. The last two days I’ve seen convicts glued to the common area tv watching The Notebook! Through out all this toughness and misery, a good love story is captivating, an emotional respite. I’ll slow down for a sec and watch a good chick flick/love story and I’m not the only one! Love don’t have to make sense, but it’ll always make you change!
Help A Father Out:
I called late to talk with my Son, he was already in bed, I asked him to sing to me before he went to sleep after I heard his cute lil yawn. He started singing the whole stanky leg song, we were laughing and I started singing with him, we was grooving together! But on a somber note, before that he told me he went to the zoo. He said he went with his whole family, and he started naming them..”my grandma, my aunt, my uncle, my cousin, my mom, my baby brother, but not you, awww” he sounded so sad after noticing for the first time that I wasn’t there but everyone else was. Still, that sad ‘aww’ echoes in my ear like every time he says “hi daddy!” when he gets on the phone. His name is Treyvan, he turns 6 August 15th! Sadly I also missed my other son Josiah’s birthday May 12th and he turned 9! My two favorite and saddest days. So can I ask a favor? If you happen to read this post, can you help me out for his bday and send happy bday wishes letting him know his father loves him, so he can get online and read all the attention/love?! Maybe he can feel his father’s love more that way because I can’t do much but I try, it’s the thought right? Also if y’all can shout out his Mom for even allowing me in his life, because it adds a lot more pressure on mothers. Thank you, even one is enough.
Prison Dad
Shame face. So I’m here, who am I to say what’s best for a child in the realm of speaking or reconnecting with his father that resides in prison. I do believe the role of fathers is under-valued, just the way my second son lights up at times and he’s never met me since an infant. I guess my only opinion for others is, don’t make a decision for your child that reflects more your personal feelings than their real needs. A child can’t think or put wants into words like adults. We baby them too much when we shouldn’t, and then treat them like adults with decisions they can’t fully understand. I figure I’ll love my sons best by respecting their mothers’ wishes not add pressure or confusion. My youngest son doesn’t listen to me because he is his mother’s son, but really because I was so happy to speak with him that everything he did, good or bad, was so funny to me, I unknowingly encouraged his behavior showing him I’m the nice guy, which I am! He thinks he can beat me up at times, (pssh! boy please!) he loves me, but I guess I don’t know how to show the proper amount of authority when all I feel is joy yet caution being able to experience him. I don’t want to lose him, so how do I father best? I’m still figuring that out, I’ve read books, took classes, but when you have your beautiful reflection interacting with you and you don’t have to deal with the day to day stresses, everything he does-even when he doesn’t want to talk because he is busy watching his shows (like father like son)- I still get joy from it. I can only imagine when we have our first visit! Nothing more I love and feel obligated to than fatherhood. But my sons Josiah, 9 and Treyvan, 6 don’t know each other.
Pro se Con-tint: Life is worth fighting for
A man asked me to help him get his life sentence commuted. He observed me, listened to me speak about certain issues and a few recent spoken words I’ve performed in front of outside guests and organizations within the clubs here. From that, he asked that favor, moved by my passion insight. What a compliment to my mission. He needed help writing a cover letter about his life story and prison experience to the governor. I’m helping him fight for another chance at life and he’s trusting me with that weight. How do I even measure that importance? Helping a man get back to his family. Often, we all heal by helping others heal…we all find our inner fight, by helping others fight. I was given a semblance of freedom helping a man get his back. No matter what you are trying to do, if it is for the right reasons you find purpose. We all have a purpose, be patient, because a process can’t be forced. Friday he meets his engaged, soon to be mother, daughter that was given up for adoption for the first time. She is in her mid-20’s and emotionally ready to connect with her father. A life at any point is worth to fighting for.
Pro se Con-tints: Afloat
I still can’t swim, both of my sons’ mothers are teaching my sons to. My oldest, from what I hear, is great, and the youngest, is fearless…treading water was also a struggle for me. The irony of relaxing to stay afloat, while over exerting yourself sinks you faster…the things that still unsettle us and cause us to panic. I could never swim, call it fear…but even now, I thought I was treading pretty good, but I just realized I’ve been slowly plummeting and adapting to this subtle yet steady depth. Ignorant to my own drowning, am I conscious? Somehow convinced myself I can breath under water. At least my sons will stay afloat! Tranquility..