Shame face. So I’m here, who am I to say what’s best for a child in the realm of speaking or reconnecting with his father that resides in prison. I do believe the role of fathers is under-valued, just the way my second son lights up at times and he’s never met me since an infant. I guess my only opinion for others is, don’t make a decision for your child that reflects more your personal feelings than their real needs. A child can’t think or put wants into words like adults. We baby them too much when we shouldn’t, and then treat them like adults with decisions they can’t fully understand. I figure I’ll love my sons best by respecting their mothers’ wishes not add pressure or confusion. My youngest son doesn’t listen to me because he is his mother’s son, but really because I was so happy to speak with him that everything he did, good or bad, was so funny to me, I unknowingly encouraged his behavior showing him I’m the nice guy, which I am! He thinks he can beat me up at times, (pssh! boy please!) he loves me, but I guess I don’t know how to show the proper amount of authority when all I feel is joy yet caution being able to experience him. I don’t want to lose him, so how do I father best? I’m still figuring that out, I’ve read books, took classes, but when you have your beautiful reflection interacting with you and you don’t have to deal with the day to day stresses, everything he does-even when he doesn’t want to talk because he is busy watching his shows (like father like son)- I still get joy from it. I can only imagine when we have our first visit! Nothing more I love and feel obligated to than fatherhood. But my sons Josiah, 9 and Treyvan, 6 don’t know each other.
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