I dreamt,
a deep and intimate dream I seldom speak of
one of wholeness
vulnerability
and oneness,
complimentary-
at its rudimentary parts-
as opposed to its contrary perspective
the perspective which deems ‘opposites’ as a counter
or antagonist
creating unequal and domineering components of interaction and relationship
I dream of, and for, a siren of light
as direct and strong in her teaching of intimacy and companionship
as she is an evangelist of equality
a light bearer of wisdom and intuition
an advocate of humanity
an activist against oppression
a proprietor of hope peace love self determination and spirit
a liberator of consciousness
a dreamer
indeed,
both a woman and warrior of love life and light
a woman with a voice as strong to my ear as her heart
a woman in harmony with both her temple and spirit
not defined by, what she adds on
but defining, what she adds on,
with her how’s and why’s
a woman free and confident in choice
her choice
empowered further forward by what she sees in her compliment
her partner
a woman who vibrates with an energy of truth over tradition
basking in the animate treasures of permanence
illuminating truth within impermanence
and embracing her humanness
knowing gifts come in all things
I desire a woman who sees
as well as leads when she needs
not solely by what she needs
with a deeper knowing of ‘needs’
a woman insightful, intuitive, intentional, and introspective
she is a goddess like all others
but she knows it
and I compliment her,
as a god, like all others
but I know it
we compliment each other as teachers of love and light
enduring entropy as one
absolutely balancing relativity
what sleeps,
must awaken
so dreams may manifest
I knew you before time
now time is ours
Love
Evolving Dream
A once hoped for, and seemingly mythological speech,
spewing words of radical liberation and equality for All, from a martyr of strong conviction
such beliefs and convicting desires,
that once stimulated a beaten people, propelling them forward from their fears finding strength, while gripping the rest of the nation, enthralled in his message and its implications for their world
beliefs,
once met with bats and batons, ropes and nooses, dogs and horse mounted policeman, burnings and fire hoses, roadblocks and barbwires
beliefs,
once when there was no extremism, just the ism of a nation
the ism of hatred
the ism of survival by all means and of the fittest
the ism of one size fits all
the ism of one color and religion
the ism of a supposed god-favored people and divinely ordained and manifested land and power
the ism of greater than’s and less than’s
the ism of exceptions being made on one side, and no exceptions for the others
the ism of exclusionary views and practices
the ism of supremacy
the ism that fought hardest against inclusion
the ism of when extremism was just considered the norm, our country, and patriotism
but this isn’t patriotism
this is Nationalism
where views,
get spewed,
used and abused,
absolute power being a corrupted power infused,
lighting inequality’s fuse,
depending on which side you choose,
or what side chooses for, or against you
–
to a society-
preferring the heartburn of its racy relations detached practices, vomiting separation-
this is indigestion
to the multicultural coalition of people-
championing equality, humanity and it’s sacrificial costs-
this is insurrection
to black people, brown people, and the colored others-
this is resurrection
resurrection of a day when fighting for equality was their worst fear
resurrection of a day when living at times was their worst nightmare
resurrection of a day when the voices of darker pigmented people counted for nothing more than the sounds of a pack mule
“We Shall Overcome”
and its poignant yet persevering melodic and nostalgic tone, ringing like church bells, ineffably transcending generations and the innumerable words and actions that have followed in its wake, by either tarnishing it’s majesty or adding to its resilient kinetic power energizing generations to come, almost now, at this very moment, sounds like, “we shall overrun”
we shall OVERRUN everything and anyone in our way
we shall OVERRUN everything and anyone that opposes us
we shall OVERRUN when we have all power to do so
we shall overrun because, yes, we can
and we Will
or else
but I utter the echoes of it being darkest before dawn
that this moment is a testament to the generations ready to move, progress, and power on
that this doesn’t sully those on the other side that believe in the interests of humanity, righteousness, equality, liberty, and this country’s foundational democracy and nationhood
regardless of political ideology,
that this only further emboldens the surge forward of a united front, that had wavered through recent years to the alluring fangs of oligarchy and corporational bottom lines over the many lives on the bottom
–
but to those many lives on the bottom,
that are now being seen and becoming the new force of reckoning,
to you I say,
that this vindicates the wretched unheard cries and screams for justice finally in a life that has only experienced injustice with cold steel gripping their wrists,
peace,
in a life that has had every remnant of it stripped forcibly away
existence,
to a person that has only known the shadows,
redemption,
to those that feel death and taxes was the only promise kept,
freedom,
in a life that has only felt trapped and endured the longsuffering of internal entrapment
promise,
in a life that has only known pain, let downs, tragedy, and trauma
hope,
in a life that has only known the tilted scales of imbalance,
and truth,
in a life that has only heard and herded towards the hypnotic illusory sirens of lies
because freedom is a ringing,
and its ringing loud, hard, strong and with a new vigorous vibrato and tenaciousness
the heart of freedom,
is pumping the blood of equality into overdrive
and the gears of change,
have never been so charged and eager
ready to see a light so luminous,
as if the very lips of God had spoken it into divine immediacy for such a time like this
the march on capitol did not set the manifested and prophetic dream of Dr Martin Luther King Jr, back
the march on capitol was a gift from the grave of our late King,
gifts of coming sovereignty
gifts to only be understood and in time apart,
because perspective has been the poison of progress,
for those that look high
and those that look low,
but how else and at what better time than now, to remember the speech that rang through all corners of our planet
this is what the dream looks like
there will be comforts lost in the short term
and there will be the appearance of brief iniquities and inequalities all in the balancing of those who were left without the bear rights of their humanity, and it not gripping strong onto them to enforce the balance they had been left without
there may be some others that feel more shade than the sun they had grown accustom to feeling, for those who had been forced in their dark quiet corners, suffering in silence, fearing the possible punishment of exposure, not allotted the same shine that had once bronzed the skin of the privileged
but this lasts only but a second, though change is scary, I ask all to come out embracing their fear
fore right now we cherish the struggle, the strife, the strain, and sojourn for a new day, a new day of
“We Have Overcome”
because the dream is what we live, but to keep and stay worthy of the dream, we have to be willing to understand life in new and better eyes,
to understand people in new and better hearts,
and to understand freedom in new and better minds,
so we can properly appreciate those like Dr. King Jr,
whom died to make our life, the reality
the ever evolving dream
One last time
If I could just talk to her
one last time
if I could just hear her voice
one last time
if I could just hear her laugh
one last time
I’m still young and dumb
but she’s my favorite past time
if I could just say I’m sorry
one last time
if I could just say no worries
one last time
if I could just feel butterflies
one last time
maybe I’m just too young and sprung
but she’s my favorite past time
if I could just start all over
one last time
see her pictures and fall all over
one last time
hang up and then call all over
one last time
I know I am young but some
should never be just a past time
Projection Deflection
If a person stands in their truth,
they are seeking attention.
If self diagnosed,
they aren’t believed.
If professionally diagnosed
they’re told everyone has it bad.
Judgmental people too, succumb to pain,
they just inflict what they internalize
then call it strength.
Riding the Emotional Hump
I’m inconsistent
insufferable
overbearing
and insensitive at times
I say I’m passionate
but I may just be temperamentally emotional
I’m apathetic when I know how to feel
or how it feels
but sometimes
it feels like I’ve forgotten to feel
or how to feel
I find that I’m reminding myself to be more thoughtful
or emotionally available
more often
pain
or internal long suffering has roboticized me
I’m depraved
or deprived emotionally
I’ve grown into personal numbness
having less feeling for self
and those closest
than for those I don’t know
yet I vividly feel my hurt
I’m just impassive
or dismissive to it
and then disregard that of those I regard most
almost as if,
I decompress my exhaustion and bitterness on familiar company
being objective helps get things done
but it takes the humanity out of the process
I can’t be subjective hear
this is prison
emotions,
and especially love don’t live hear
yet when I get on the phone,
I have to find that love again
that feeling…
turn off
turn on
turn off
turn on
GTL and JPAY suppressed heartbreaks
trying to stay grounded
but my positive wires get crossed
and I need to pop the breaker,
just to wake me back up again
because I want to feel alive
I want to do for others
I innately want “so much’ for people
that sometimes I become an intense pressure
a coach, when a friend or lover is needed
admittedly I tire of hearing complaints and cries of
wait,
it takes time,
I’m trying,
I can’t
I went through this
and my life is blah blah blah
life isn’t simple
I absorb each protest, but do I use emotion there?
or will that subjectivity
only further cripple and babysit their potential
and feeble self pity
sometimes emotions pacify
people want me to pacify theirs
while often-
though I never ask-
feel no pacification for myself
my strength is assumed
or hoped for
so I can just give,
rather than they wear the heavy burden of uplifting
something and someone they don’t truly get
emotional output is so one sided
what you give isn’t necessarily what you get
funny that way
I’m apathetic cuz I gotta be
emotional cuz I wanna feel
and I’m passionate because I have to balance them both
Rapped Tight Prose Verse
I’m tired of living this life
I’m tired of living this life
I had to change my approach
believing my shadow a coach
believing my mirror a host
desires turned me to a ghost
my skeletons buried in mulch
while hiding from everyone close
alone and those winters get colder
down and out doing the most
I swallowed pride like a Mimosa
breaking my bonds like a Jonas
I took the blame and the onus
I had my highs but more lows
I had to rise from my lowest
but even superman needed Lois
hollup…
this is no act with a Tony
I acted out cuz I’m lonely
I treated women like trophies
all my mistakes like to troll me
all of your blame would control me
I had to grow from the old me–
now you say you know me,
but you do not know me
just only the gist and my phoniest moments
when I had no one to console me
I’m lonely
just show me
a person that’s perfect
all you see is surface
my spine curved like serpents
hurt from carrying all of my burdens
inside I been hurting
I’ve never been certain
I’m worthless
I’m working-
at changing the monster, so you’ll see the man-
not the mayhem that’s lurking
connecting my circuits
inside of my brain
that’s colliding with pain
a colossal of paint
just to cover me, color me vane
leaning on the window pane
feeling like ‘one’ with the rain
but I still feel stained
emotions are flooded,
but I still feel drained
what’s a promise of love with no rings
materials hiding my shame
if we talk about depth I’m estranged
if we talking about debt then I’m vane
I like to talk about my death from this pain
taking my final breath with no name
because I will never be the same
but you may never see my change
I’m sleepless at night
starring at the moon
calling out for my sons
hoping that I’ll see u soon
I’m restless at night
dreaming bout my past
while the day on the way
but these nightmares last
I swear I’m not perfect
to those people I hurted
to those people I’m hurting
I wanna be a better person