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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Rapped Tight Prose Verse

November 29, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I’m tired of living this life

I’m tired of living this life

I had to change my approach

believing my shadow a coach

believing my mirror a host

desires turned me to a ghost

my skeletons buried in mulch

while hiding from everyone close

alone and those winters get colder

down and out doing the most

I swallowed pride like a Mimosa

breaking my bonds like a Jonas

I took the blame and the onus

I had my highs but more lows

I had to rise from my lowest

but even superman needed Lois

hollup…

this is no act with a Tony

I acted out cuz I’m lonely

I treated women like trophies

all my mistakes like to troll me

all of your blame would control me

I had to grow from the old me–

now you say you know me,

but you do not know me

just only the gist and my phoniest moments

when I had no one to console me

I’m lonely

just show me

a person that’s perfect

all you see is surface

my spine curved like serpents

hurt from carrying all of my burdens

inside I been hurting

I’ve never been certain

I’m worthless

I’m working-

at changing the monster, so you’ll see the man-

not the mayhem that’s lurking

connecting my circuits

inside of my brain

that’s colliding with pain

a colossal of paint

just to cover me, color me vane

leaning on the window pane

feeling like ‘one’ with the rain

but I still feel stained

emotions are flooded,

but I still feel drained

what’s a promise of love with no rings

materials hiding my shame

if we talk about depth I’m estranged

if we talking about debt then I’m vane

I like to talk about my death from this pain

taking my final breath with no name

because I will never be the same

but you may never see my change

I’m sleepless at night

starring at the moon

calling out for my sons

hoping that I’ll see u soon

I’m restless at night

dreaming bout my past

while the day on the way

but these nightmares last

I swear I’m not perfect

to those people I hurted

to those people I’m hurting

I wanna be a better person

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Love, Trauma

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

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