how do you court a ghost, phantom, angel, goddess, or spirit?
with patience, surrender, or relentless perseverance?
don’t answer that, you’ll be giving up secrets you don’t want to offer up…because you may lie within one of them…some mysteries are better kept unknown, though it makes seeking pointless, but I guess that all falls beneath or within the forbidden sky…wondering if I’ll ever be granted entrance or just be a gatekeeper, too chaotic to exist in such a calm
night time, I’m literally that lone wolf, enthralled with the moon, purging out everything I am and have absorbed that day, emptying myself for a new morrow
Freedom Writer
often we do the things we have yet to do
what started off in our mind
was still lived
just not expressed
I watched you
I went to a stall
my only privacy
from the things that pry at me
compartmentalizing-
what has already died in me
what stays alive in me,
and the things that continue to die in me
all three which disguises me
but I cried
inside of my stalled hide N seek
because you spoke a truth so potent
and sacred
that only emotions could respond
for the lack of what any words could begin to convey
I saw your pain
I was your pain
I am your pain
I ‘feeeeeel’ your pain
often looking for those with exact experiences just to decompress
but the contrast is what offers the most healing
how else can differences blend
mend
then amend
making amends
that no longer depend
to depend
with the need to defend
or pretend
but rather ascend
because all, tends to end
and then, begin
acquaintanceship, relationship, and friendship
narrated by-
a whole hearted, spiritual, and soulful shaking of hands
a knowing,
where gender age and color bear no relevance
only the correspondence between stars and earth
as above
so below
so-to-speak,
journeying highs and lows
like a ship embracing the waves of the sea
we all communed
knowing that it was life we felt
and life we sought
situations losing the need of mirrored pain
because as I recognized your story
I saw mine
possible generations gender and geographics between us
and still you reached me
because we went to the same place
and wrote it out
finding freedom,
in moments we were once prisoners of
truth is like a schadenfreude
sadist
and masochist
truth is also liberating
beautiful
and purposeful
making us all free within it
in our own dualistic ways I suppose
today,
truth made a warrior cry
I’m almost beyond the shame of it all
whether a Jewish 13 year old girl hiding to live
ultimately dying because who she was
in my own way…
I get it Anne Frank
and maybe, I didn’t just cry for me
nor just for you
but for us
us that hide to survive
and still feel fated for death
without a full chance at life
that’s been my feeling for 32 years
living your years twice
before I found the courage to write my truth
in the midst of my fear and pain
that you had discovered at only 13
symbolically, 13 was supposed to free my people too
but you know as good as anyone
freedom is more than documentation
but the people you freed in your departure
because the unlikely courage you found fleeing genocide
has spanned across the globe
and now I too, share your spirit
here in America,
one of many disciples of you, Anne Frank
the Original Freedom Writer
Feel Like Dying
I need to hurt right now
so that I can tell you how I feel
you asked the question,
“how do you feel?”
therefore, I need to search
discover
embrace
and then discern
so I can give you a real answer
…
I don’t feel like life
I feel I’m dying, I feel like dying, I think I died
I’m dead
Remember My Place
remember my place
where I’ve been placed
its lack of, yet ever opening space
a space with barely any space
a space that is a place
an ever open place spaced for mistakes
mistakes that take place in this space
place mistakes in space with haste
and if the statements you make in this place
go beyond your limit of space
you will be confined to an even smaller place of space
until you’ve learned your place
but how much space can a place take,
if you take place in a closed space?
don’t speak, don’t do better, don’t be better Way
because those that run the place that govern your space
will always save face
but this is where courage takes place
and spirit takes space
so yea…department of corrections, I’ve been put in my place
you put me back in place
in my place
with black sheep,
for me to save more from the space that you take
from those you cant face, yet save face by the gates you create
which form a place that takes up space
and I get angry and shake
but my faith won’t break
until I shake this place
and take my place
socially distanced beyond your gates
so I can create a space
for black sheep that have learned and found their place
with whatever space they make
because the meek shall inherit the…
and We CAN’T SHAKE that FATE!
AHH!
Untitled
I felt your fingers from beyond
imagine my surprise
the only touch my spirit called for
and in the midst of my darkest hour
I felt you
reaching me
balancing me
guiding me
back to what was once light
and I can’t even begin to tell you
how it felt
the familiar feeling of ‘forever’
but I know it was you
Thank You.
Fight to Survive
when you hide to survive
when have you ever been alive
when you lie to survive
who are you, while you stand?
have you ever stood?
are you understood?
and if you understand,
can you ever stand under?
or
do you have to fight to survive
incite and connive?
ignite and divide?
stride, strive, and strike to contrive
a spiritual fight,
amidst physical strife,
but this is a typical night
when you have to fight to survive
and then numbness in wake of battle,
seems to never subside
because when you fight to survive
you barely get to feel…
alive