we came together
us three,
and made one
one body of,
shock
shame
and shackles-
an all too familiar ringing that dialed up our PTSD
while we answer it’s call with emasculated concession
and dignified contempt-
at the table in silence
jovial…
just hours before
when all seemed,
if not all together, gained
then, to be
but now
we sink simultaneously
scarred
scared
somber
and solemn…
a sacred vulnerability of pain shared for the weight of its implication
not just upon us
but also upon our loved ones
and to the world…who cares?
and to our families…who else would care?
and to us…why should we care any longer?
because this is too heavy to feel alone
even saved almost,
by the company of symbiotic or Siamese misery
sitting in silence
breaking it’s cloud over our fears and pains
with awkward jokes to lighten our disposition
all the while,
never mentioning the full extent of what’s being felt
because big boys don’t cry
alone,
nor
together
…
enough said
Sleepless
hurt
shame
embarrassed
guilt
lonely
hurt
suffering
voided
hollowed
angry
crowded
overwhelmed
fallen
I’m just too miserable to sleep right now!
A Moment of Darkness
there’s a nefarious cloud
hovering
its dark, carnivorous dominion
fangs oozing black, thick syrupy liquid
forming into malevolent bodies of darkness
cloaking and devouring any source of light-
that was once my hope-
I only cling to you
although you escape my vision
your image lingers like nostalgia,
in my mind’s eye
only solace is captured
because your distance alludes my ego’s grip
but not my faith
your spirit acting as a net
saving me from a deeper plummet
into the abyss
kingdom of the unknown,
and fear
however improbable,
still I rest
with a heightened courage
complimenting me like a partners warmth
knowing you’ll be there
still
until light reigns once again
shinning upon us both
while
illuminating the path we trek
because darkness
was only ever
a moment
but you
and I,
eternal
Addressing Life
there is a place
to which we all exist
and that’s everywhere
but there are rooms
to which all don’t fit
and that’s choice
yours
mine
and theirs
but those rooms
are in a building
to which we all live in
and that’s Life
I Need a Coat
creating ties to a tie
only makes a knot
so, ‘to be or not..’
is not!
nor will it be, again
and all though the knot wins
at least I’m not tied up…
bunched messes aren’t my thing
but kinda “my” thing
I’m a bunched up mess
OneMess becoming my Oneness
but cutting ties is overrated
because its still so cold out here
freedom, isn’t warm
its frigid!
where’s my..?
Jubilant Bridge
she’s so much a light-
she causes me death,
so that I may live.
she causes me love,
so I can embrace my fears.
she causes me breath,
in this way I can breathe.
she’s cause and effect, connected
what couldn’t I reach?
now what more,
could I need?