I don’t wanna exist
I wanna live
if I can not live
then let me die
I rather die
when everyone that loves me, lives a lie
I don’t wanna lie no more, I die inside-
every time I crawl away, and try to hide
I don’t wanna walk
I wanna fly
if I can not fly
then let me fall
I rather fall
when everyone around me, never stands tall
I don’t wanna stand with my back against the wall
I’m not afraid to trip, I rather give my all-
trying to fly fearlessly, not so afraid I walk
Mercy
apology
Take my apology
for what it is
knowing it will never be enough
it will never make amends
and may never,
make a difference
but at least it’s there
like I was
at least its real
like I was
at least it means something
like I did
but I guess,
all I’ve become
is just that,
an apology
there,
yet never enough
as if a voice
without a body
a memory
without a face
a person
without a name
and when you peel that band aid
I will still be a reminder
of what once was-
before there was a pain that needed covering,
a pain that screamed from a wound that my absence inflicted
denoting a deeper intrusion of hurt than a surfaced scab can illustrate
as your flesh struggles with it’s cells to mend itself back to form
hiding the affliction
before the break
before,
there was ever a need for
an apology
judged
I need a jury
but not of my peers
I have no peers
you see their appearance?
how does it appear?
how does it compare?
do they see the mirror?
do they see I’m rare?
can’t they see their rear?!
while they judging my past!
judging my path!
they don’t know the half!
divided by half,
well, then maybe perhaps?
but fear overlaps
just get off of my back!
civilized savages
Let’s make civility a law
then claim ourselves a civilized country
then over police our uncivilized communities
then send them back out into a cultural civil war
and amongst the social savagery, tell them to embody civil obedience
then, like any ‘civilized’ people
discard them soon as they corrupt your values of civility
after all, its your civic duty
holding certain civilians,
to higher standards civilly
besides, in this civilization
punishment is the prime nature of being civil
know me
I seek to
decrease prejudice
and increase understanding
please stop judging
without knowing
because
I’m sentenced to a hurt-
lasting longer than that moment you judged me for
in denial
Prison is walking inside of the world,
barely making it back out with a story to tell;
knowing an inner truth so fatal,
yet somehow its exterior hides too well;
prison is like entering the thoughts of a person,
trying to understand why they act the way they do;
finally discovering a breakthrough in reason and behavior,
but your findings are denounced because of your record and lack of title, so nobody listens to you…