apology

Take my apology
for what it is
knowing it will never be enough
it will never make amends
and may never,
make a difference
but at least it’s there
like I was
at least its real
like I was
at least it means something
like I did
but I guess,
all I’ve become
is just that,
an apology
there,
yet never enough
as if a voice
without a body
a memory
without a face
a person
without a name
and when you peel that band aid
I will still be a reminder
of what once was-
before there was a pain that needed covering,
a pain that screamed from a wound that my absence inflicted
denoting a deeper intrusion of hurt than a surfaced scab can illustrate
as your flesh struggles with it’s cells to mend itself back to form
hiding the affliction
before the break
before,
there was ever a need for
an apology