Numb, because all I know is hurt
They only see the dirt
Not what arose and bloomed
Soaked through from an open wound
Felt closed in a tomb, with the aroma of dew
I was so consumed, by the notions you-
Chose to focus through, what else was I supposed to do?
Options choked and bruised, comatose provoked and used
With a hopeless view, through a window that broke into-
Two pieces, atoned and doomed
If u ever pick up the phone, what tone would you use?
Would you forgive my wrongs and see a stronger dude?
Or would you just leave me alone and let the tone, click, through..?
Inside
Mind Trip
What’s a mind
if you dont mind
being mindless?
Would you be a mime
standing atop a mine
blind inside of a mine?
What’s the difference between a state of mind
and a mind trip
if you dont mind being mindless?
Dr. Russ
A lot of people say there is no change until you take responsibility for your actions..true and false, what’s responsibility minus identity? So to change would be to know oneself, inside and out, self knowledge brings about identity, purpose realization and then we arrive at responsibility…the reason so many can’t change because they have no frame of reference to concede to, and then to change you also must know why, why you reacted in the way you desire change from, none of that is accomplished without knowing yourself..so what questions must be asked? What do I like, why do I like it, what do I believe, where did that belief come from/why do I believe it..what makes me happy, why does it give me joy, to know that deeply is to know its reciprocal right? What do I want to be, why? Once these basic questions are known, you create a foundation of self knowledge, now all the little intangible questions and answers come into play and once you start knowing not only what, but why, then you can accept responsibility because what and why already highlighted at the least an identity, a pattern of behavior/ a realization, purpose then is always subjective, it’s never a definite but responsibility is once you know yourself, otherwise you’re accepting a right and wrong from a moral compass, or character that is not your own but an assumed or concocted summary of bad habits and ill affirmation that gets based a lot on trauma fears and past hang ups..Dr. Russ..
Persevere
..persevere
I formulate it like an idea
I built it up like Ikea
now I’m feelin like a pioneer
I been thru it like riot gear..
Hell yea I had fights here
Hell yea I had fright in here
Hell yea people died in here
Hell yea long nights in here
damn..
I seen dudes burnt alive
I seen dudes stabbed to death
I seen dudes mutilated
something you witness catch your breath
I was called out to the shower, I was koo, it was one on one
I faced it all, I can never run
two more came, I aint hear them come
I hit the ground, saw a blade, and all I thought about was my sons
what I haven’t said to my loved ones
I wont lie here as my blood runs
I went numb
then I went dumb!
survival instincts started hittin home
they won’t stop me from gettin home
I was facin death alone
but I kept swingin til I broke my bones
it got hard to manage breath
adrenaline peaked, no panic left
one man had left
but one hand left..
it can always get worse here
this is hell but there’s church here
I swear reality hurts here
and you’ll never know when it will hit you but you always have to persevere
Dry Ice
I can’t wait, until these tears dry
I can’t wait…until this tear dries
The last gift, to which, I can remember you by
The scars on my heart, I can remember you by
A glimpse of our stint, hmm, December, July
Hot and cold, seasonal love only delivers you lies
I try to close my eyes so you don’t enter my mind
Then the moment you arrive, my temperature rise
Perplexing your effect..you are composed of ice
Perplexed by your effect..your composure is ice
I, can’t wait until this tear dries
I can’t wait! But now this tear is ice
Addict
Chain smoke, binge drink
Pop pills, narcoma…
Inhaled lines, euphoria!
Crazy thoughts..scared of needles
Exhale leaves, picture perfect..no worries
Coming down, sick of life
Drink syrup..light darkens
Lucid dreams-echoed vibrations
Mirror-mirror on a caved in wall
I look down standing on a pile of broken glass
Asleep on a bed of needles, don’t wake me
I’m still broken, I may never feel whole again!
And then,
That love, real love, her love..
Pure! Inhale…
Exhale!
Intoxicating
New Drug, Love
Addicted!