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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Inside

Entrapped

October 21, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

There’s never enough time
when time is all you need
thinking back,
time and time again
I’ve noticed,
that time is all I ever wanted
yet I haven’t had it for such a long time
even though I’ve been sentenced to time
imprisoned within its construct
counting down arbitrary calendars until I can be free from it
heh, free from time
is that a paradox?
or simply, life?
Usually that line of phrasing runs rampant with foreshadows of mortality.
Well,
whatever you wanna call it
it seems I’ve spent my whole life,
trying to escape one prison,
or another
either the prison of past
the prison of present
and the ominous prisons of presumption,
pretense,
and prejudice
all which mesh sporadically,
careening my tomorrows-
a path personally paved by perspective passion and pain-
where therein lies,
the slowly progressing process of-
any promise or promises promised
or provisioned-
caged within this imprisoning paradigm of time.
Time is free
but it’ll cost you everything
because nothing can buy it
and NOTHING,
but a heartbeat,
can escape it.
Although powerless to it’s illusionary onslaught-
even the mind knows-
that time,
is entrapment
and I seek freedom inside my mind
but there’s no freedom inside of time
until you’re out of time
and these moments inside-
of prison,
or time-
I find myself traumatized
but this day I will celebrate that trap that I survive in spite
and thrive inside
so happy birthday to me-
dying slowly
but I’m forever alive inside
YoungR.U.S.S.

Filed Under: Inside, Love

You’re smarter than this

October 20, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

“You know you better, you’re smarter than this
you have so much potential, but you harbor resent”
descent descent descent
I’m goin down, I’m far from decent
I had my knees bent
calling on Jesus
trying to repent
soon after, another let down, pain too recent
wont speak the reason, you see the reason
briefly, I stopped believing
I-just-stopped, be-lieve-me
some-one-will-come, and some-one’s-will-be-leaving
bills vs income or tree’s leaves leaving
see it, every season, I re-live it, no re-lief, nothing re-lieves-me
like weed-leafs, unless that tree re-leafs, then I drink green tea
but in 3 seasons my grief re-peats
each time that thin line re-cedes
pain isnt bias, a lot of byes, walking by, and the hi’s or highs you buy, don’t-need-re-ciepts
enduring de-ceit and dis-ease, attacks like disease
hard to stand strong, on cement, above demons, with de-feat
process de-pletes, progress de-letes, profits de-crease
this same inciteful, cycle, leaves me spiteful
that’s why I wasn’t better, why I wasnt smarter than this
but I became the scarred artist, that wrote his own broken heart, with something sharp across his wrist
so you all could read and better see the why towards my
descent descent descent

Filed Under: Culture, Inside

Rewarded Punishers

October 13, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Imprison me

and it’s a political and capitalistic win-win

Prepackaged,

a voteless tax write off

a cheap laborer whom you reap federal funds off

a slam dunk stock option

population control

many sub-industries and subcontractors are created and benefit

clearly stated

I am a bounty

and you are a bounty hunter

because my punishment

is your reward

Filed Under: Culture, Inside

Everyone is a Felon

October 6, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Either in conscience or act. The only line of difference is my color. Every so often that blaring line blemishes into humanity as a whole.

We see who we all really are, bottom lines and quotas, a bunch of living-commodities giving unlimited and unchecked power to our oppressors taking form as corporations, government and public servants sworn to serve US. But in reality, they subject us all pitting classes, colors and cultures against one another. Conditioning our minds of what’s right and what’s deserved with discretionary, mitigating factors, all the while hiding their motivations behind our constitutional, systemical, and institutional ideologies.

And the ad nauseum propagandized hope, equality and justice for all, cloaking racial biases which create caste systems for social control and concentration camps in the deceitful language of law and order- a legal basis to further limit and subjugate poorer proportions of our population- while alleging wrongdoing and color blindness in the pursuit of justice.

Making most believe that black people are just inherently bad, aggressive and lazy therefore, deserving of their abysmal despot and squandering fate because they are given enough handouts as is to be different and to be better. Having many believe blacks are assisted even more than most and should have no excuse but what then of the Spanish Americans and the damn near all but extinct Native Americans or is there just an inherent problem with all people of color- blacks being the worst.

Because through the colonization of this country the heaviest workload was fashioned on the backs of these now suffering and marginalized people, pitting all poor and working class whites against them just to perpetuate the established elite order and safe running of the few at the top.

Maybe my skin is the problem, but to me, all problems are a matter of perception and to this problem, my skin seems to be the answer. An answer that I will never possess being born this way but will always have to ultimately answer for. Labels are a slavery of words. Once color was first announced, then came class. To keep class intact, a constitution was erected. And to police the new terms of society, conditioning was educated. After the indoctrination process then history needed merit. So narratives changed to capitalize and culture was stolen to reinforce tradition over truths cementing continual subjugation, ignoring the humanity of ALL for survival and supremacy, justifying immorality for profit…felon!

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Mercy, Trauma

Cop Out

September 29, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

We’re not taught nor encouraged to trust legal figures

they do more harm than help

so before I lash out…where do I go?

police

public defenders

parole officers

psychiatrists?

“pray for patience”

thought so

Filed Under: Culture, Inside

What have you done for me lately

September 26, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

So I’ve noticed more police campaigns and commercials

advertising what they do for us

now that they are under scrutiny

using our tax dollars to promote support for them

the same understanding isn’t consistently extended

are we, the public, that they serve, also not due our sympathy?

politicians don’t really want police defunded

because they thrive on law and order and status quo

they need their class and positions protected and separated by law enforcement

or that would imbalance privilege

politicians and policeman want us to afford them room for growth and change

but they don’t afford us the same

SMH

uh, why do you have to remind us what you do for us

you must not have been doing it

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Trauma

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

Read More

  • Whose Mind is it Anyway June 30, 2022
  • Objects June 30, 2022
  • Same Thang, Different Name June 30, 2022
  • Optical Ill-lusions June 30, 2022
  • Hollow Symbols June 30, 2022

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