can I please have your undivided attention?
eh mhm!
an unarmed Blackman
is actually
an armed Blackman
just by standing
you ARE
bearing Arms
Blackman
black
standing for
insidious mischievous dangerous inept depraved savage and more of a nefarious act than
a noun, when you describe a human
as a Blackman
let’s go across the color spectrum
what sounds less dangerous and less aggressive
when you list people by a color perspective
lets see
what are the other selections?
white-pure
brown-earth
yellow-meek
red-passion
and then black
a pit, abyss, abysmal
fear and ignorance, just a few of the underlining narratives directed
just to keep people reacting in fear, when they come across my complexion
somehow BLACK
is now synonymous with a uncontrollable assault weapons
somehow BLACK
needs to be put down or caged WITHOUT DISCRETION
with EXTREME PREJUDICE
because of EXTREME PREJUDICE
EXTREMISTS teamed with the PRESIDENT
for WHITE society’s protection
handcuffs only leave you powerless to their onslaught
how can a human be met with so much injustice
and encroached upon crutched juxtaposition
fighting to live with the smallest means…just for a position
in a society that entails PEACEKEEPERS
keeping the PEACE as ZOOkeepers
treating the LEAST as BEASTS
like endangered SPECIES
tho its DIScrete
as we continue to DEcrease
DEplete
taste DEfeat
face DISease
Hate and DIS-ease
UNSEEing of any MEans
of FREE SPEECH
BEING
or PEACE
telling PEACEkeepers
that in order to continue keeping the PEACE
you have to DElete
US WEAPONS on the STREET
that are a THREAT
to the PEACE the PoLice, police
so you strip them of their PEACE
using your MEANS as a POLICE
patrolling STREETS with your PIECE
DISTURBING the PEACE
instead of controlling the FLEET of PIECES
tearing human beings to PIECES
making people believe
that if you eliminate US from the STREETS
that you are now an accomplished Peace Bringer
by taking the REAL WEAPONS off the STREETS
PIECE by PIECE
with a KNEE
and a PLEA
of
I CAN’T BREATHE
and you’ve yet to CEASE
while WE SEE
and HE
CEASES to SPEAK
because HE’S DECEASED
but you were JUST
BEING
that brave PEACE…keeper
the way George Floyd died
is synonymous with how our community suffers
with the foot of OPPRESSION
RACISM
PRIVILEGE
AND
PREJUDICE
on our necks from our waking hours and thru-out our slumbers
he felt helpless, then laid lifeless on his stomach
after he BEGGED
he PLEADED
he BARGAINED
he remained OBEDIENT
while CALLING out for GOD and his MOTHER
who died two years prior the same day, it makes you wonder
did she call him home from beyond to call attention
to the real pandemic, that is still going on, which our society covers?
for fear of being believed to be resisting
he ONLY FOUGHT PANIC
while his OPPRESSOR’S PROTECTED assault persisted
EVEN in CUFFS
on your belly
with a KNEE LODGED
in your NECK and BACK
CUTTING off your AIR and CIRCULATION
black man
you are still ARMED and DANGEROUS
how long do we have to cry out for help before you give us real solutions
this country has given the illusion of inclusion and evolution
because they no longer hang us
yet STILL KILLED in our OWN HOMES
how can WE CITIZENS FEEL like strangers
now let’s rewind back to Kaepernick
I see why he was attacked and viewed as an antagonist
he exposed the veils on issues white people rather not confront-
celebrating an anthem tradition
that NEVER celebrated BLACK PEOPLE’S contribution
NOR their INFLUENCE
but feel like patriots remembering dead soldiers
but what about the SLAVES
that DIED FIRST for EVERYTHING they GAVE
and lay FORGOTTEN in their GRAVES
and their DESCENDANTS
feel their EXISTENCE
is STILL in CHAINS
like NOTHING has truly CHANGED
so the pretty privileged take offense
when you come off too blunt and make sense
but let’s not Offend People
that don’t care that their privilege and silence Offends People
DISCOMFORT creates change
this ISN’T misplaced or misdirected rage
NOR is it without purpose
the purpose was showed
PAIN
HUMILIATION
GRIEF
FATIGUE
protests turned riots
they didn’t become what they opposed
THEY ROSE
from the concrete, FED UP
ENOUGH
now I don’t applaud the violence
but riots
are cries
of the silenced
MLKJr-cited
there are times when violence is the voice for the silenced
and this is not a time for kuumbyas and violins
this is a time for Social Status Quo DEFIANCE
this is a time for the MEEK to take their place as LIONS
UNWAVERING faces of NONCOMPLIANCE
backed into every corner we come across
WE
have less room
WE
can’t move
WE
can’t breathe
these claustrophobic feelings so eerily familiar,
that my insides are doing somersaults-
amongst Monarch Butterflys WE’RE STILL treated like shunned caterpillars
inside of SOCIALLY STRUCTURED GENOCIDAL HOLOCAUST
how can we succeed with solely a LOVE-lesson?
when we’re stereotyped-kentucky fried
desensitized
incentivize
the prison’s rise
recidivize
gentrified
now centralized
into subdivisions
we’re SUB-sectioned
and we take the daily SNUBS as TOUGH LOVE and let them-
treat us like monetary bottom lines, problems, and momentary headlines
sensationalized for just the instance-
cloaking the truth of the ‘tolerable cruelty’,
unchecked in the unaffected’s perspective
displaying the fractured whole of our existence-
instead of engineering generational inclusivity and evolution
we become PRISONERS of the moment
NOW EVERYONE is in PRISON-
so how can we ever hope to be freed
when that key
was swallowed the moment those in denial of their PRIVILEGE
CHOSE NOT to LISTEN
the voiceless are NOT YET FREED
so the voiceless WILL SPEAK
because the voiceless STILL BLEED
while the voiceless PLEAD
and so the voiceless TAKE KNEES
but the voiceless was SILENCED WITH A KNEE!
do we have your attention now? NOW DO YOU SEE
how can we change, Capitalism shows that CHANGE isn’t CHEAP
America is slow to CHANGE because CHANGE isn’t FREE
but the first action for a CHANGE, should be a CHANGE of SPEED
so there will not be another 8minutes and 46seconds neglected of those in PAIN AND NEED
Inside
my proactiv method
What are we trying to do right?
If we are activists, then what are we speaking to?
Social inequalities and injustices, mass incarceration and prison reform, and a more whole society where all kinds of people are accepted
But how do we do that?
We create organizations and speakers to go out and spread those messages in order to better perform humanitarian acts right
And a lot of these socially conscious people have a holistic or spiritual lifestyle
but what is that
Well if we say that’s who we are, then in that lifestyle we understand the necessary nature of all things, the complimentary relationship of all, and that we are all one, so all things impact each other
yet we go about creating change by separating and tackling symptoms but not digging for the roots to see the causes
It’s like we get stuck on the business side of things where we have to direct a mission statement that tackles identifies and directs itself to an easily absorbable problem in order to be digested by many and then we lock in on that one avenue, but cures tackle a multitude of things from a multitude of ways
but humanitarianism inside of capitalism gets reverted to business and a business has a one track mind of problem and solution, supply and demand, results results results
now you can’t go at the roots, because you need to show financial viability, we get lost in our immediacy, here and now, short attention span world that we only serve instant gratification
we cater to trends instead of courageously creating new trends-new waves innovated to get more people lost at sea to shore, instead of creating content and delivering it in a way that demands attention, we just say people have no time, now by shortcutting the process we short change the impact and the people we are trying to help
we’re scared of risk tho this is all risque
When trying to change things we have to speak about everything, the conditioned mindset, compassion and empathy capacity, by informing and relating, speaking of experiences and trauma not only the system, it has to be personalized, because the system is made by flawed people, but the system is just a thing done by people, it’s not a person, we need to be champions of people, not systems.
Words have meanings and connotations, the broad strokes we paint over process experience and solution does more to disconnect with the paths of certain people, solutions need a personal touch
we seek anecdotes with various methods that are tone deaf, so I searched synonyms that painted a picture of how most people go about finding anecdotes
as follows:
nostrum-an untested and questionable remedy made of secret ingredients, an ineffective solution…
this perpetuates a cycle of diagnose and need
panacea-a universal solution for all problems, diseases, or woes…
but all classes and experiences aren’t created equal
Impasse-a situation that seems to offer no solution or escape, a point of stalemate…
the flaws of a system narrate this definition
Catholicon-a universal remedy…
sounds Catholic, kind of passively coercive
Ratiocinate-to work toward the solution of a problem through logical thinking and reason…
but where does spirituality apply?
In order to want to help people you have to be able to get in touch with your humanity and willingness to listen outside of what you believe you know, in order to do that we have to be comfortable with digging deep, and if that’s hard then we have to have people around that help and make that journey safe and show how to safely do that, we have to reintroduce proper love of others and love of self
we do that by our stories, sharing our truth, so people can see where we are similar, makimng it easy to listen trust and unite, while not seeing our personal beliefs as lines of separation but as doors of oppurtunity to share oneself with another, both by teaching and learning, thereby creating understanding, a common ground
When I’m released, I will go out and work for universal unity, and through that we will create ever lasting relationships consciousness empathy and compassion that will better our society and its forgotten hurt lost angry confused and anxious souls
Working for a better justice economic health and prison system, social responsibility and accountability to each other thru music poetry spoken word performance art and my story, because in order to create true change, we can’t tackle one issue at a time, we have to tackle a lifestyle and embrace the uncomfortable moments it takes in creating it
this WayOfLife-style is love life liberty and enjoyment, and we live that by being bold in our sobering truths
in order for many groups and colors in America to arrive at the awareness and privilege that exists now, which still needs more evolution, they had to embrace being uncomfortable and believe themselves equally worthy of love and liberty
So my moniker is WayOfLife, my way is of love because love is the highest truth, Instead of being comfortable with only parts of someones truth, let’s be bold enough to love them because their full truth, even the things you may not agree with because it’s what makes them them, and you you, there is a harmony to that, a balance and equality struck of allowance
we will be better served if we get out of this force mindset, and start becoming more allowing of peoples peace space and process, only influencing by enlightenment, not entitlement nor enforcement of ideals and methods
So I will be the actionist, because it’s about ACTION, and I will speak and act for the human soul heart body mind and spirit, highlighting the human condition and its cultures, regardless of color although I will make concerted efforts to make aware the plights of my culture and even the culture of others and my experiences walking in the shoes of many different identities from apologist to conformist to alien to lost to light
let’s not keep waiting for moments of tragedy to remind and ignite us to Action
i want and so what
Move is this great goal I want to achieve, but only to connect, I genuinely care about people, romance, its process and intricate detail and the reaction response or reward it conjures from the work put into it, but it breeds comfort, I’ve never been comfortable and when I tried to seek it, it became my ending, I don’t care much about feelings as much as I care that I feel, so that I know I’m alive, but even then I question that, I feel mechanical, like connection and love being a tool that validates my heart but distracts my mind
I want all out of the people I interact with, though most can’t have all of me, or at least not in the same stuck place they’d like me to stay at which makes them feel more comfortable and full, but I am the very void I cause
I know at my highest ideals of achievement exists no comfort, because there’s always more to do, maybe I might not aspire to do everything, but I haven’t even touched the floor of most or even approached a lot
Maybe I crave love for legacy, though I connect seamlessly with women and their emotions, I’m also cold and could care less about deterring myself for someone else’s emotional hangups and needs, I embrace my emotional flaws and faults, it fuels me
I need a partner that I can share love with more than a person that’ll want my love unshared, I don’t need comfortability or complacency…I guess anybody likes to know someone somewhere worries about them, but I’m on a mission and I can handle distractions as long as they don’t seek to actually get in my way because I can turn emotion off just as quick as I can turn it on and dive deep within it
Love or sex…maybe even company is a sign of art and expression, a declaration of personal desire, it can be shared with anyone, but those you share it with show your pallid and canvass
I think we usually think of people sexually before we think of them platonically, it’s the wonder or mystery just like any admirer of art observing a painting and the artist’s mindset and process when creating…what do they look like, sound, smell, taste, feel…are they ravenous or reserved, does their interior match their exterior, is their personality a match to their intimacy, it’s those deep intimate describers that really helps you know a person, but it’s obviously a privacy everyone is privileged to know, but that wonder is what is so enticing about people, it mirrors life, because it’s a journey that takes effort to know and experience to personal satisfaction, as in love, as in adventure and exploration, as in career and achievement
I crave to know, know everything, the things that are hidden and taboo, the things that are in plain sight and invisible, because knowledge in its makeup is power because it empowers you, and the more you know, the more you evolve, the more we know, the more we get to become, so the more I know about someone else, the more I can know of myself
I wonder and I want, in many ways that makes me dangerous, therefore I wander places in thought emotion and being they I’m not supposed to be or wanted at and feel I’m stranded being a drifter into people’s life and emotions
Seeing things I’m not allowed or given easy entrance or access to
what is there for me, but more…I want more
and that fact will alienate me because everyone else does to but they limit that wanting, hide and lie about it, and then make others feel guilty for wanting it, I hate cages barricades walls and enclosements, my nature is to break them down or transcend them
we all have borders that once we get over them, how fucking amazing will we be and will life look when we get to the other side!
Earlier, how was sex relevant? everything…EVERYTHING is connected, we only created brackets and barriers around certain aspects of life to create a personal feeling of ownership and therefore ability to hide and disguise ourselves, creating many faces while trying to stay true to the one face we believe we have, and when those facades run into themselves, we panic shut down fight or run, because no matter how much we claim we want to live, living in denial and hiding is no living at all, it’s just existing, and when you merely exist, personal beliefs anecdotes and philosophies run counter to each other and end in a confusing emotional steeple and stupor, numbing and detaching us from one another, where we engage self-imposed artificial defense systems and create distractions or succumb to addictions of sorts that mask the conundrum of self-deprivation we inflict upon ourselves
I want…that’s my affliction
but the fact that I want more…that’s my crime
because I see so much, so I know how much there is to be had, beyond just materials, and I can’t shut these thoughts urges and desires off if I tried!
Because to me, dying is not having, purgatory is being comfortable and dying is becoming complacent
I hear what you are saying about me right now…and for the first time in my life, I don’t care!
I can handle distractions but not deterrence, so I will not be denied
I have things to be had, though I don’t know what they all are, I still want them, because that knowing and wonder is all a part of the adventure, it’s all a part of my journey
I’m an open book, but you’ll never know me, because I closed some doors I’ve long forgotten about and have no idea where to find them or even craft a key to open them if I could, and I continue to evolve by the moment, because that’s all we have and its all I live, the moments
I wonder how many people could read this out loud and feel comfortable, fearless and still be loved by those listening to them
better to accept the love of ones that accept the things hard to love, even though love is easier than we make it out to be, but that’s a matter of resisting and wanting less than we believe ourselves capable and worthy of, but that’s a story for another day
I kept thinking I’d end this but kept going…that’s what I mean, there’s always more, bye for now.
new school
prisons are the new school’s, new schools
not education like they intended of course
kind of reward by consequence
I am not an inmate
I am a student
with an I.D.
like most colleges
studying inequalities
and harshness of mankind
learning social dysfunctions and disenfranchisement
learning cause and effect
learning the law of attraction
learning thoughts and behavior
learning punishment and reward
learning civil savagery
learning no mercy nor grace
learning prejudice and stereotypes
learning segregation
learning concentrated violence
learning occupied freedoms
learning sensory deprivation
learning isolation and alienation
learning desensitization
learning coping abilities
learning worth
learning bottom lines
learning addiction
learning depravity
learning cognitive dissonance
learning herd mentality, group think, and mob behavior
learning labels and their affect
learning systemic racism
learning hopelessness
learning affectionate starvation
learning to see hidden truths
learning insincerity
learning the power of money and privilege
and through all that
learning that I am resilient
learning more than you hoped for or thought possible
because when I was sentenced,
I was taught the most important lesson
words don’t teach
words may have imposed my sanctions, defining my punishment
but it was experience that was going to be the teacher of me
experience is the only teacher
words only explain the lesson
studying makes you knowledgeable about what’s being taught
but only experience,
provides understanding and wisdom of what’s being taught
and in here, I’ve found my words to accurately depict my experience
which can only make you aware and connected to my truth-
describing what you may not know
and will never properly learn
until you live this
expertise means nothing outside of these walls
because prison taught me
its the ‘experts’ that still don’t understand
unless a more fatal truth is that they don’t care
and the public really doesn’t understand
the statistics only paint a picture lost in translation
and left up to perception
so really,
no matter what I just said
you that still haven’t learned a thing
and no matter what you say of me
it only further highlights the picture you paint of yourself
destined to fail
what does hope mean,
when choices are more limited than your options?
my friend sees another prison stint in his future
it’s not about going back out and rebuilding
its his crowd
he’s still young,
and so are they
whereas he says most of my crowd
are older and married off
or in prison already
the humble acknowledgement and morbid insight was like
hearing him say,
“I’m trapped and I can’t help it”
he rationalizes that he’s matured
but often, we are our environment
and many don’t have the means to escape it
no matter how aware we are
would you rather a person be lonely and uncomfortable
just because they were was once in prison
than find comfort in the only thing that they still may know,
after being taken from it
because the world still revolves
and isolation feels a lot like solitary confinement
imagine your life becoming like prison time in the hole,
just to keep from going back to prison
new social no-no’s
I walk into the cafeteria here
and although we’re all supposed to have our masks on
we have to take the off to eat
and the moment I here someone coughing choking and sneezing
my head instantly spins towards there direction
my hair raises
my face screws up
and I give a disgusted cautious look-
shielded behind a mask of course-
as I wait in line
but I wouldn’t care if they saw how I looked at them
I can only imagine what the nerves must be like out in public
how strange the times are
when farts may be more of a relief and socially acceptable
than a cough sneeze or sniff
now to me, that’s funny
the ol’ “oh god bless you, you’re human it’s ok” thought that goes off when you hear a fart
versus the swift condemnation of seasonal allergies
lol! hilarious!
people are so sincerely insincere and obnoxious that its morbidly funny