Where am I?

today I looked from my top bunk
and saw my position
an overhead lay out
of which I am stocked within
filed away
and my senses became hallucinatory
realization piercing this reality’s veil
and I honed in on my imprisonment
I felt stricken with confusion and grief
dizzying the sounds sights and beings became
I was in denial
traumatized by each second
as my mind wandered and wondered
unsatisfied with each place it landed
I became hot
more forehead poured sweat
I jumped from my bed woozy
beings around asked of my disposition
I tried to explain but couldn’t
I began to shake
my left leg having a nervous reverberation of its own
unceasing in its shakes
I left the bay area
seeking relief or answers
hoping for calm but I knew there was none to find
for I knew what I was experience
and it shattered me
my conception of self dissected
and reintegrated, and I felt the horrors of this existence
the lies and blindness uttered around me
the encasement of my being and potential
I was in shock
and this man saw me
he understood
a stranger to me, but he hugged me
and said I get it..I been there
I don’t know if he really did
but he reached beyond the veil of my comforts
extending his warmth
and I felt less alien at that moment
while still alien to this
this construct everyone seems content with
“I don’t belong here”
I said to myself
and that was all I could muster for reason
but even that had many meanings
or maybe mundane diagnosis can explain this
PTSD? Anxiety?
I think not, so I said to myself
where am I
but my senses could not answer that question
because I was never posing it to them