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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Culture

Young R.U.S.S’ WayOfLife-style

October 29, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Racism, injustices, inequalities and their perpetrators never rest. As we speak, Trump is trying to appeal to “suburban housewives” aka “…” by saying they’ll vote for him because he has defunded affordable housing act for low income people so that their neighborhoods won’t be invaded (by…)

He is also trying to not fund postal service admittedly to stop mail-in ballot voting during a pandemic while certain polling locales in obvious areas in order to create the greatest probability for reelection while sowing doubt of voter fraud by mail in voting.

And even here in my state where prison has been declared in a state of emergency because over population and not enough staff yet more maximum security beds are sought to be created which keep people in prison not minimum which work people towards society, and a bill currently sitting on the desk of the governor that could release me right now with repealing portions of the mandatory minimum law that I am under which if he signs, I would instantly be eligible for parole, but he’ll reject it then it needs 33 votes to pass from a senate with too many in his pocket.

So all that to say this

Life is a challenge, and I am pledging my life to rise to that challenge and challenge those that aren’t resting to limit my opportunities and sequester me to certain sections because of the labels afflicted upon me given the past rubble I created then climbed from.

So my personality and identity, way and direction, abrasiveness and empathy, talents and gifts will all be used to push every limit and every societal more and perceptual appeal or preference in order to experience my absolute journey of love light and liberation for myself, culture, and humanity.

So unapologetically I push, because what gives if I don’t? ha get it?

I’m the unstoppable force going against the illusionary immovable object of roles titles labels perceptions class status quos genders power oppression and everyday life here in America that too many are willingly or unconsciously ignorant of, if not all together uncaring and preferring.

Our spirits are tireless, our bodies may grow weary but if we connect to our eternal batteries thru the ultimate source than we will joyfully embrace this tireless fight and existence, which I believe I have been made for.

All I’ve done seen and learned has been in accumulation for a greater idea and purpose, just like all of us, and I mean to see that thru in every way to have the ultimate human experience.

I live to be liberated spiritually, emotionally, culturally, socially, perceptually, unrepressed romantically sensually and sexually within myself as far as body attentiveness and vulnerability with whatever connections I create and goddess that I attract.

I am the rage of a new era, the force of a shadow created then forgotten, the depth found in the shallows, the skin to closeted skeletons, the room for elephants, the shepherd for the blacksheep, the miracle in every mirror, the light of a united consciousness, the boundless fearless love, the willfully wounded healer, the voice of oneness and truth, a bold new way, the WayOfLife.

There is a way and a wave out there that comes, goes and crests, but I am the flood erosion and reshaping of new land, I am the ocean, I am the balancing necessary natural disaster and within me my minds eye and my hearts will, I am infinite and a gravity, force, reality, dimension, consciousness, and planet of my own, and all things I seek and all in my life encompasses that solar system of Me, and that is the universe I am spreading to the world like universities.

A knowledge to be remembered and emboldened, a wisdom to be honed in humility without avarice or ego, and an understanding to be the empathic connective tissue of all living breathing feeling soulful beings.

And this is my WayOfLife-style

As my heartbeats, it is composing musical movements and illuminating paths, I’m not just speaking to the unseen, unheard, and uncared for, nor just centralizing on connecting with those that feel misplaced and out casted to say I’m just like you, but providing the realization of that which you are, more can become of it.

You can create in your pain love passion and indignities, you can architecture a path that provides for you and those to come, you don’t have to only have a voice speaking for you, once you’ve heard that voice that reaches you, you too can now become a voice and reach others, that you too are equally capable of leading as well as following like all greater leaders have had to do first, that you can forage thru any forest and create a fortress where you exist confidently, instead of begging for the space advocation affirmation and validation of others.

You are an island, not just out on one, your privilege is your heart, and you can create a platform from your inherited position, and then position yourself for prominence and peace.

Passion is just intention with intensity, and there’s a process to progress, and that process is poetry in motion.

But if you are overcame by fear then you won’t see the beauty, but if you embrace the fear and choose love, then the world will unveil itself to you and you will be blessed to be misunderstood and perceived as crazy because you will see a reality and truth that most around can’t accept nor see and are too scared to believe in.

Some say you need to see to believe, but I say you need to believe it to see, because what’s in a blind man’s hands is whatever he believes it to be.

All things matter, and you can never not matter because we’re all matter, so be tireless, profess your raw love, leap your cliffs, cry your tears, jump your joy, howl from your spirit, scream out your redemption and achievements because being alive right now is your miracle and makes you extraordinary.

You and I are one in the same, all powerful no matter the pressure, because you make pressure matter, pressure is what you say it is, not what they tell you it is.

Filed Under: Culture

Grew up, I’m-prisoned

October 29, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I grew up

mother incarcerated

father deceased

I grew up

as a foster child

and ‘my mother’s’ child

I grew up

confused, shamed, and angry

lost, unfit, and skeptical

I grew up

witnessing adult truths

experiencing adult lives

I grew up

hearing adult lies

feeling adult pain

I grew up

in a merry go round

home shelter institution home facility…

I grew up

absorbing everything

blending, but never fitting

I grew up

standing by, no one stayed standing by my side

none understood me

I grew up

with internal battles

viewed by my reactions

I grew up

seen as trouble

judged like a man

I grew up

aggressive, out of fear and protection of myself

that narrative carried thru my years, stunting my growth

still, I grew up

now look where I am

exactly where I started off

but at least I grew up…

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Love, Trauma

P.O.W.E.R.

October 27, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

When it comes to matters of power, the human in us is first reluctant- That’s the part of ‘us’ connecting self to the ‘whole’, an internal response of equality and oneness. But then in that position of power, we must adapt, becoming comfortable in a way that effectively silences that voice.

We become used to it, used to quieting our conscience, listening outwardly instead at the physical results of our new found domain.

This is when our animalistic instincts, it’s carnality, takes form then takes over, acquiring an insatiable thirst and hunger for this power, forever silencing the humanity within us and largely ignoring the humanity of others to get what you want and where you desire to be.

Creating a narrative now of a greater good made by your position, an ends justifying the means, which serves you and your survivalist tactics. Now mirroring a mind with life inside the animal kingdom and the last bit of human left of you, becomes the contradictive need to be seen in a higher light.

But WHAT IF power can be harnessed with balance?! Some people crave a semblance of power, often feeling powerless or overpowered so that underlining motivation makes it hard to strike that balance. Making it easily abused once gained. Quickly forgetting the position you once held of powerlessness and how it felt.

Once power is sought in compensation, perspective is lost and selfishness becomes direction and domain and you become a Prisoner Of War’Er. A war you created or capitulated to which is called P.O.W.E.R.

Filed Under: Culture, Love, Spirit

White Knights

October 26, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

The effects of colonialism in this country have not dissipated. The crippling clutches of capitalism have not quelled the suspicions in people’s motives, even if it brandishes itself as an ally.

I find it ironic when in prison, those of us whom are mis or distrusted, have hard times trusting the people, promising and offering assistance and opportunity, identifying themselves as compassionate allies there to help us function and transition back to acceptance in a civilized society.

Help coming in overwhelming white faces. Why don’t the faces look like us? Will we even trust them more? Or mistrust them even more?

Not being taught to believe people that look like us are able to gift opportunities or ironically, is it that the ones that come bolstering opportunity are the very few allotted opportunity?

Naively trying to offer what they get easily, to those that can’t while those they offer help to, look exactly like those that can’t be afforded a chance to offer the same help.

My white knights in shinning armor! It’s not your faults though. It’s just this paradoxical and problematic world we live in. We’re all consciously colonized and opportunity is occupied.

Filed Under: Culture, Love

Plucked Flowers

October 24, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

We’re all plucked flowers

paying attention to the surface

while the reality beneath is of decay

maybe it mirrors us

Who are we when the water and sun touches us?

What is your water and sun?

How preserved is that superficial beauty we hold onto?

Is our surface just a symbol of décor

while what’s inside dies slowly

holding onto when it was once grounded

But once it became display for the world

slowly, day by day

it lost itself

stuck in a vase

taking form in the many aesthetics we run to

but uh, everyone knows a pulled flower is dying right

literally right before your eyes

and as you try to hold onto that gift of vanity and love

life overruns you

and like your shallow desires

you eventually decay along with them

wilting away inside far before you let on to your truth externally

how long will you die inside

uprooted from your truth

before you escape that lie

and get back grounded in your truth

where your roots stretch

connecting to everything deep

your dirt is your truth

your dirt is your soil

our shame is where we grow

taking ourselves out of that shame by fear

only traps us within the superficial dirt

that clings to us

never again feeling clean

no matter what we seek as our water and sun

Filed Under: Culture, Love, Mercy

Errday my birthday

October 21, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I die so much daily

living to reflect on the happening the next day

surprised I’ve survived

when I think so often

and succumb to frequently

my own death

but there’s a rebirth

unfolding like a cocooned butterfly

eagerly meeting its first horizon

resurrected,

I’ve lived again

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Love, Trauma

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

Read More

  • Whose Mind is it Anyway June 30, 2022
  • Objects June 30, 2022
  • Same Thang, Different Name June 30, 2022
  • Optical Ill-lusions June 30, 2022
  • Hollow Symbols June 30, 2022

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