Russell Wardlow

Russell

who are you?

what does that even mean, who am I?

Answering that question sometimes is as weird and uncomfortable as asking it

You are strength power reserve resilience perseverance creative individual original idealistic spiritually exuberant champion brave and courageous

but what you aren’t, is identity

you aren’t confidence as much as you are pride ego indignity

you are just as much beaten down and weak as you are strong and powerful but this is why you are reserve resilience and perseverance

yet still instilled like steel, you are just as much deflated simple and predictable as you are creative

you are just as much judged, judgmental, hated, and hateful as you are your own individual you are every bit of everybody else their business and opinions as you are original and idealistic

you are every bit of shaped as much as u are a shape-shifter

u are every bit scared and fearful as u are brave and courageous

u are every bit a loser as u are a champion

you are a robot on autopilot

why?

Because u succumb

because u just put up

because u can do bad all by yourself

and u just koo and chillin

and u not trippin

and you wit it

and fuck it

cuz its whatever

and u not phased

and u just doing u

and ‘it is what it is’

and you in your own lane

same shit different day…

why…

why is dreaming for more and putting the work in so hard for you?

What, are u just good with complaining?

Accepting everything as is?

Then u hate on people dream of more

and that’s koo, but u have no real self value

all u do is what u been trained

and don’t say that ain’t tru

but that ain’t u

u living everyone else’s expectations

no matter how great or bad

ready to blow up and defend Nothing first chance you get at who u deem as opposition really,

u battling yourself and your own fears, needing respect and exposure

life is already a war, so why do u insist on creating more wars and battle wounds for yourself fighting all these different faces just as lost scared and confused as u

in the field just so u can have a story to tell

u wanna ‘keep it real, thorough, a hunned and all’

but if u in a mood u don’t wanna here the truth

so since you all about dares then..

I dare you!

to become, instead of just being

I dare you!

to exercise restraint while directing your pain towards a path of purpose-

not believing you are selling yourself short by not reacting,

but realizing that by proactivity, you make more gains towards a future built by You-

rather than one built for you by being impulsive, acting out of fear-which you call anger

no

u not mad

u just a scared boy that’s too afraid to grow up

believing your pain and story is something special and different than everyone else’s…

in a fight, who gets the best seats, the spectator or the fighter?

I dare you to stop spectating, and fight for more

fight for yourself to become yourself

don’t fight yourself because you’re scared and scarred

those are self inflicted, stop lying to yourself!

become you! let’s think out the box for a second

radical as opposed to conventional wisdoms…

what if i told you that the way you view the word ‘selfish’ has made you feel sorry for everybody outside of u

that u have no time and energy for self growth

that it keeps u in the same position

because your meaning of sacrifice is actually sabotage

because u hate yourself!

and u rather just do for others so u can stop thinking about who it is that u believe they see when they look at u

what if I told u that working on self is the best way to help someone else?

I is We

helping yourself is helping others

how can u improve things outside of u-

if the barriers inside u, have u so cut off that u can’t take heed to your own message-

u can’t even see yourself no more

how can u have an idea of what other people need if u don’t know what u need?!

u can’t build self value off others

u build self value by building self up

then u help by showing others how to do the same-

we are built to build UP, not accumulate build up

the cycles you get stuck in are of your own creation

when u lead for self,

when the only voice u hear is your own,

and the voice of those u try to help are mute,

than what are u doing?

stop preaching!

live your truth

let go of yesterday and tomorrow

be present

right here and now

you are a teacher just by all you’ve experienced

a teacher gives a platform for voices

a teacher learns twice by teaching

a teacher embraces the challenge of learning thru experience self growth and new environments

once u figure that we’re all a product of our environment,

u can choose to make your environment productive

your environment isn’t just who you are

u can create and move your environment

but “without discipline there is no development” Maulana Karenga said that

ultimately, you are who you create yourself to be

so next time I ask you who you are,

your answer should be a creation of your own

not of someone else’s

so, who are you?

Young R.U.S.S.!