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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Mercy

A King, has Returned

January 9, 2022 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

do not the poles of the earth
bring about the equator
just as the poles of the body
bring about equilibrium?

and has not my thyroid
and adrenal glands
brought about harmony
to the biology of my being

acting as northern and southern poles
representing both brain and sex
and their interdependence
like Husband and Wife?

and if so,
has not my fertile mind
and the consciousness it emits
become that of a Father to me?

and the vitality of its seed
going forth into the fertile womb
of my all-consuming heart
bringing the will of me, into being, like my Mother?

well, Mother
I crave your nurturing
fore I know it is you
who knows all my worries and triumphs

and I can not tell you
that which you have not already known
balancing my will with humility, a craft
steadying me from the force of my Father

there are things
I wish to speak solely to you
knowing you will understand
but I ask for your steadiness

even as you take on the gravity
of my weighty emotions
and the mighty fetters
of my thoughts

because I will not
offer you what you know not
but the reality of me knowing
my Father, as much as you-

may cause you to shudder
in your waters
creating ripples
from disturbances I now recognize

like a child, witnessing abuse
his mind was shielding him from
forfeiting memory for preservation
now harkening back onto what was hidden

you’ve protected me long enough
Mother, the world demands I know it
and I have, but now
Father, summons my knowing be directed

and I cry for the seeds of my Father
fallen on barren ground
Mother, your vitality has waned
and you do not produce like once before

I am in a state of chaos, fore I have lost my balance
feeling cold and naked from distance of love
the land has been trampled
by conquests of the senses

there is not enough field
for the plow
and there is too much desire
for the yield

the eyes have become insatiable
and the hands numb
for no one knows home
nor what they have in their grasp

extremes have shaken foundations
the poles are lived on
the highs and lows are too much
growth has underdeveloped

no one knows who they are
they have lost their names,
disregarded their ancestors
bury traditions and shun history with malcontent

malice has entered the palace
and the youth roam
until their energy drains
lost to idleness and idolatry

where are you Mother?!
I know you see this
you’ve been silent for too long!
but what words have you?!

soon as uttered
you are attacked swiftly
no one cares of your wisdoms
fore they can’t possess you

like the sword which slashes down
the swordsman, O Mother!
I’ve felt invisible like you
but ashamed of my existence

for what I see, makes me
want to cover myself
my guilt runs over
like cups of drunkards

because I have played a part
no belly’s know their fill
nor mind, it’s heart
the true just and righteous life, is orphaned

for where is the unity
of husband and wife
of father and mother
of king and queen

where is the bond
of love consummated
kids created
and kingdoms combined

the lands revel in their division
and the throne has no heir
for profit speaks its prophecy
and the poor no leader

the lineage of their ruler
is crowned in red
and the descendants of truth
have been muddied into obscurity

words are hollow shepherds
symbols are debauched
God is mocked
and life is found in the wandering flocks

who do I trust at this time
but you,
though no one listens to their mothers
they have abandoned their kids

fore no parent recognizes their offspring
let alone themselves
but I call to you,
O’ Mother, come home!

fore I have heeded and discerned
contemplated the legacy of my Father
disciplining disruptions I suffer
and it was not solely logic hence I learned

experience sent me into the wild
and I have come back with a message
my body, and the truth it bears
I am ready Mother, groom me for the throne

for the King, has returned

Filed Under: Love, Mercy, Trauma

Transference

January 7, 2022 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

inhaling impurities
exhaling insecurities
a mirror of my breath
the air of obscurity

Filed Under: Mercy, Spirit

I am the Day, I am the Definite-Carpe Diem

November 27, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I am the force
you’ve all of course
tried to thwart
though horrors enforced
you stay the course
aboard discord’s horse
you’ve been on since born
when reality was divorced
from the truth you first endorsed

now it’s intuition you sell short
and emotions you can never abort
throughout remorse or scorn
adorned from weathering weather through whatever
whether you wither, or
reason to reckon with
this living torch
which never dawns!

my day’s chosen weapon is excellence
emotions I pedal in motion
over impediments, with devotion
staying solidly grounded on sediment

my will-
the immortal portal
time-warping awoken readiness
reticent
of deficits
prefaced with
insurmountable prerequisites
that most would exit from

but I’m invested in
cultivating methods into messages
for wisdom and spiritual directions
by an ominous presence
and all-knowing specialist
encompassing all power
empowering me to release the tension suspending my mind drifts
through time shifts
embodying apprehensions and wretchedness
please,
permission for precision
and the prestige of provision
give me
visions- premonitions and intuitions I can visit until I get it!
then lift me!…into infinity and beyond swiftly
I’ve risen!
from second-guessing it
There’s no question that doubt only arrested development
Because I am, the Day, the Definite

Filed Under: Mercy, Spirit

Toilet Frame of Mind

November 27, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

you know when
someone don’t believe in you
not because of ‘you’ particularly
it’s just that they don’t believe in their self
and you can see it too

because the way they go about believing in you
most promises they are unable to see it thru
that’s called seasonal
I usually add that on top of my evening food!

you know those types that
only create flavors by adding to what’s already there,
taking the easy route?
I’m hard to consume, my very being isn’t easy food
I’m one hell of a surprise to those that barely chew and see their food

you know those that are like,
“not now, I will later!”
umm, but how long will you embrace the-
“taking it easy” mood?
preferring the beach, inflating the scenic route
wanting a breeze or two
sometimes when life hit you, you gotta go with it
even if the situation is readable
and inconceivable
create a new feasible
then momentum is achievable
by letting the moment just be, believable

now watch in awe as the bullshit-filled excuses start leaving you!

example sample!

listen!

my best ideas come on the toilet and I’m going thru complications
because when creativity hits me, I give it so much concentration
that I leave the toilet with constipation
when I envision a star, I graph an entire constellation
and by time I’m done,
I’ve just orchestrated a beautiful compilation
but to see it through
I gave my bowels circumstantial condemnation!

this way I can make something that I call the shit!
haha, get it?!

you see?
to unlock greatness
sacrifice is the combination
for any successful operation
because true accomplishment is an occupation
birthed by mastering moderation
hesitation will only work to have your progress revolving through oscillations

but what would I know?
I’m just on the toilet reflecting on my observations
contradicting a process that’s needing me to let go of abdominal abominations
pausing on my poetically processed proclamations
because when it comes to time spent…
I’ve lost every hint of an approximation

but ayye,
you can’t fully contain nor measure the products of greatness
that transcend denominations
au revior! sending you this toilet stalled salutation :0

Filed Under: Mercy, Spirit

God to God

November 8, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I’m going to do you a favor
and treat you like a god
not just any god, for God’s sake!
but the god you are!

I’m even going to do you a greater favor
and not acquiesce to your ill-conceived sensibilities

now the irony of this all is
that I am not empowering you
although at the same time, I am
I am encouraging you to be empowered
by your in-power
and for some reason,
you will not like it
you may even grow to hate me for it
all because I’m choosing to tell you truth

your unconditioned truth
and seeing you for nothing less
than your truth
therefore there is no room for excuses
this isn’t empowerment because
this is already who you are!
but it is empowering because
you have been made to forget this

as you grew, you could’ve believed this easily
but as you “matured”
life’s superimpositions jaded your self-perception
now seeing this language as-
self-promoting, arrogant, delusional, deifying, egotistical, irrational, blasphemy, and sacrilegious
so it’s safe to say,
the more you grew
the less you knew
with the more in view
you saw less in you

a lost childhood imagination
stole your true self’s gratification
and I know you have the ability
to transcend all of your emotional hangups
peace is your natural state
although less accountability is easier
so I will not pacify them
I will not tiptoe or walk on eggshells when we speak

in fact, this is me showing
understanding compassion and empathy
for who you truly are
though you may believe it insensitive at the time
I am aware enough to know
it’s not what you say
but how you say it, God

I will tell you the truth
and speak to your truth
compassionately, empathetically
and with emphatic understanding!
I will not oblige you by speaking down to your comfort
that is not you,
it is but an urge for relief from tension
a cycle of pleasure, pain
instead of pleasure, peace
the ‘tension’ is unmastered emotions
from a lacking of understanding of who you are

and of how great, grand, and gracious the god-gifted power you wield
but this lack of understanding
has your emotions leading the way
and they are only identifiers
like polarities on a compass’ magnets
showing you the what
and the why
with the, where

truly,
I don’t think there is any greater compliment
or action I can give you than this
and I’ll accept it if you hate me for it
but when you get back down to earth
speaking with everyone else
you may miss that feeling
you know, of being treated like a god!

we all naturally have an inclination
pulling us towards truth
and one another
reflecting our oneness
and all I am, is a reminder
there are many of Me’s all around You
so you’ll come back
to one of those Me’s
until you see You
and are fully ready to embrace that
joining the chorus of Us
trying to remind everybody who They are

and you’ll learn to embrace the hate
because, they’ll hate you for it
they only know what they know
all are teachable
it’s just fear
from misunderstood love
they’ll get over it
you did!
or they won’t
but it won’t change your truth
nor theirs
all that is asked is
when you are ready
spread the message
because there’s a bunch more of You’s
that need to join all of Us
once they finally see
there’s no difference between You and Me

now create!
call it thoughts
feelings
call it force, or e-motions
call it words
or whatever you choose to call it
it’s your free will just manipulating the formless energy into form
making matter
because making things matter!
and we call that purpose

there you have it, God!
the one, of many
from thee One, Us many!

Filed Under: Love, Mercy, Spirit

Kill you with Truth

November 8, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

wish I could Kill you with Truth
so you would die to the Lies
then resurrect full of promise
promising to never hide
and when you look to the sky
you’ll see a mirror and mind
not just an all-seeing eye
because that eye is inside
and you will finally realize
that the Truth which you’ll find
was truly never outside
now when you go step outside
you’ll see a whole other side
because that’s what happens…
when you die

Filed Under: Mercy, Spirit

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

Read More

  • Whose Mind is it Anyway June 30, 2022
  • Objects June 30, 2022
  • Same Thang, Different Name June 30, 2022
  • Optical Ill-lusions June 30, 2022
  • Hollow Symbols June 30, 2022

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