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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Mercy

Uneven Measure

November 2, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I have a question

why when our public servants make mistakes

they are able to plea for forgiveness and vow change

and time and time again

despite broken promises

they are given the same chances

when they are critically judged in the court of public opinion

or even in the court of law

there’s always a cry of mercy duly granted

yet when people like me mess up

well our positions are shown

because there is no mercy

there is no chance of forgiveness

nor an ear to hear our vows for change

there’s only vitriol and mercilessness

no one appears on news channels protesting our charge and court mistreatment

or scrutinizing the public and legal system for the due process we get handed down

…just a thought

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Mercy

Plucked Flowers

October 24, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

We’re all plucked flowers

paying attention to the surface

while the reality beneath is of decay

maybe it mirrors us

Who are we when the water and sun touches us?

What is your water and sun?

How preserved is that superficial beauty we hold onto?

Is our surface just a symbol of décor

while what’s inside dies slowly

holding onto when it was once grounded

But once it became display for the world

slowly, day by day

it lost itself

stuck in a vase

taking form in the many aesthetics we run to

but uh, everyone knows a pulled flower is dying right

literally right before your eyes

and as you try to hold onto that gift of vanity and love

life overruns you

and like your shallow desires

you eventually decay along with them

wilting away inside far before you let on to your truth externally

how long will you die inside

uprooted from your truth

before you escape that lie

and get back grounded in your truth

where your roots stretch

connecting to everything deep

your dirt is your truth

your dirt is your soil

our shame is where we grow

taking ourselves out of that shame by fear

only traps us within the superficial dirt

that clings to us

never again feeling clean

no matter what we seek as our water and sun

Filed Under: Culture, Love, Mercy

Everyone is a Felon

October 6, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Either in conscience or act. The only line of difference is my color. Every so often that blaring line blemishes into humanity as a whole.

We see who we all really are, bottom lines and quotas, a bunch of living-commodities giving unlimited and unchecked power to our oppressors taking form as corporations, government and public servants sworn to serve US. But in reality, they subject us all pitting classes, colors and cultures against one another. Conditioning our minds of what’s right and what’s deserved with discretionary, mitigating factors, all the while hiding their motivations behind our constitutional, systemical, and institutional ideologies.

And the ad nauseum propagandized hope, equality and justice for all, cloaking racial biases which create caste systems for social control and concentration camps in the deceitful language of law and order- a legal basis to further limit and subjugate poorer proportions of our population- while alleging wrongdoing and color blindness in the pursuit of justice.

Making most believe that black people are just inherently bad, aggressive and lazy therefore, deserving of their abysmal despot and squandering fate because they are given enough handouts as is to be different and to be better. Having many believe blacks are assisted even more than most and should have no excuse but what then of the Spanish Americans and the damn near all but extinct Native Americans or is there just an inherent problem with all people of color- blacks being the worst.

Because through the colonization of this country the heaviest workload was fashioned on the backs of these now suffering and marginalized people, pitting all poor and working class whites against them just to perpetuate the established elite order and safe running of the few at the top.

Maybe my skin is the problem, but to me, all problems are a matter of perception and to this problem, my skin seems to be the answer. An answer that I will never possess being born this way but will always have to ultimately answer for. Labels are a slavery of words. Once color was first announced, then came class. To keep class intact, a constitution was erected. And to police the new terms of society, conditioning was educated. After the indoctrination process then history needed merit. So narratives changed to capitalize and culture was stolen to reinforce tradition over truths cementing continual subjugation, ignoring the humanity of ALL for survival and supremacy, justifying immorality for profit…felon!

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Mercy, Trauma

ProPros’d Thoughts

August 4, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Wear in plain sight, though it’s deep as genes
wake up, hate everything seen
blood flows through body, feel it bleed?
misery overwhelms mindstate, feel it breed?
emotional fatigue, feel it breath?
pain, only feeling that runs free
lack warmth, so cold
even more, when alone
alienated, never understood
cast away, with firewood
I’ll create my own society!
my own social norms
my own emotional emoting
no psychosis
no hierarchies
no taboos rules class conformity nor monarchy
a land of will and embracement
equality, quality over quantity, individuality spread across acreage
only herbal stimulants
no harm done to innocence
what you know, over who you know
but all, are in the know
with all languages, and ‘No’ is universal
power and fear will not coerce you
birth disparity will not curse you
only naturality of life may hurt you
you are what you speak
do as you think
have what you work for
be you freely, chase worth no more
I don’t have to be like the masses to succeed
I don’t need to do as you do, I am me
materials and notoriety will not determine my value nor love
roles are acquired, not inherited
gender will not dominate advantages
women will have a voice, kids safe and given options
guns and government abolished, (Laissez faire) and currency is oxygen
No war, Unity is reality
vast fields of flowers, organic cures and no allergies
colors will only describe objects not people, I may even turn green, blue
imagine that looking at the sky and ocean, incase you didn’t notice, I have dreams too
-MeTopia-
“we repudiated entirely customary morals, conventions, and traditional wisdom…and recognized no moral obligation on us, no inner sanction, to conform or to obey”-Keynes
“We were out to construct something new; we were in the van of the builders of a new society which should be free, rational, civilized, pursuing truth and beauty. It was all tremendously exhilarating.” -Leonard Woolf on the Bloomsbury Group
“We found ourselves living in the springtime of a conscious revolt against the social, political, religious, moral, intellectual, and artistic institutions, beliefs, and standards of our fathers and grandfathers”
RANT!
–I crave an authentic life, thought ethic belief and emotional autonomy. No clichés no conformity, standing out, uniquely comfortable with my own identity and way. I’m a felon, a con in all right and definition. It’d be best if I were to shut up, be grateful and docile, conform and fit in..No I can’t with everything in me be that way..be that it may, or be that it is good advice, my nature is disruption. How many of you are like everyone, how much of everyone is their own unique self in conscience? No separation of self from society slowly planted the conventions and doctrines that now so many complain about in off-hand private conversations, social media and the out loud protests rally. Life has become apathetic and reactive, not empathetic and proactive, there’s comfort in conforming I admit. Though think, if you valued the individuality of self on a higher plain, how much more would you hold in regard to life and other people’s freedoms and liberties?
Could that duty of-self ignite a more assertive duty to humanity? Because the other way has only engineered un/subconscious modes of self survival. Principles only reinforced by non-committal or lack of care until home is affected, somehow you know and love..by then its too late, it takes time to be, and it takes time to be undone…Life has been controlled by the ‘either, or’ narrative, either puppet or puppeteer, either victimizer or victim, either kill or be killed…but what about that uncomfortable middle ground where real choice lies. No ‘either, or’ just You. Why can’t that be a way of life, why isn’t that the way of life. There has been revolutionary thinkers that have lived between those fragile lines of tolerance, and yes, people fear what they don’t understand…inclusion eliminates that fear, otherwise numbers stay low and idealism is assassinated before it gathers true momentum because people always start with a select group of people, we can all live together and flourish within our difference in thoughts and acts. There’s this island where all these rare and different species of animals coexist together peacefully, why can’t we?

ProProsd Thought:
There’s places in the world where nothing but a woman eyes can be seen in public, where their clitoris is cut off as to take the pleasure of sex away from them, where their breasts are cut off so they can’t feed their babies no more, where they are killed for educating themselves, where they are forced into marriages, taken from their families, forced to bear children, raped beaten controlled and sold into sex trafficking…These are our women, our child bearers, our mothers, our counterparts as men…so why do we have to maintain such a ruthless domain over them as if their existence is mere privaledge to accompany man. As if their roles are of pure submission, subservience, silence, docile, obedience toward men. Is it intimidation? Because they mature faster than men, more evolved hippocampus which gives them an almost uncanny ability to read and express emotions- a fragility of men, because they are sexually limitless- unlike men? There was a time, before mass religion where women were regarded as high if not higher than men and held the same cultural relevance and importance, also the same social, marital, eucharistic, government, military, and monarchic positions as men…How can we truly love what we try to dominate? They’ve been victims of domestic and societal oppression, yet still gait with abundant grace and strength. My best friend is a strong-willed brilliant beautiful motivated spiritual compassionate human being, being a woman is the icing, she sets the tone for how I view/revere and now treat women. We have to uplift them, not just our sisters and mothers. Every bond doesn’t need to be sexual, I’ve learned that they offer so much more!

Filed Under: Culture, Mercy, Trauma

occupied freedom

June 29, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

there has been casualties
and fatalities
because this occupied illusive reality
was founded and liberated upon sustained brutalities
and pie in the sky fallacies
without consistent generational challenging
racism is likened to America’s first and longest lasting allergy
and its impact varies based on your color and salary

Filed Under: Culture, Mercy, Trauma

sadomasochists

June 28, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

America
People
why does it take inflicting pain
to stop you from inflicting pain
why does it take inflicting pain
to change the inflicted pain
and heal, the afflicted pain
or does it just feel too good to you

Filed Under: Culture, Mercy, Trauma

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

Read More

  • Evolving Dream January 15, 2021
  • I Am U December 8, 2020
  • One last time December 7, 2020
  • This Sys-tem December 5, 2020
  • Concentration Camps December 4, 2020

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