Mercy

the things I say now
may not be grasped until later
but if you truly have the will to seek
then it is all there
stowed away within messages of near past
which one day will serve as memories-
reminders and realizations-
time released for the ready heart
if you so cherish time enough to do nothing,
but look
and you will see
what it means when I tell you

“I am the slave’s dream
I am the prisoner’s hope
I am my father’s guilt
I am my mother’s redemption
I am the world’s reckoning
I am God’s promise
and I am on my way home.”

hmm

I wonder if I have to say this or is everything existential and essential implied within the following sentence…

it’s snowing on Easter.

now that I’ve said that,
sharing a story…a quick one hopefully lol

on Friday I was called up for an MRI on my shoulder, so I got to leave the building and drive around the corner to the MRI truck, (as I’m saying this, instead of explaining, maybe the significance will be grasped and imagined in one’s own associative and empathic thoughts)

I took in the scenery from the very moment I passed the area you all come in and check-in, telling the staff how crazy something so routine and mundane to you is an adventure to me.
as I got into the car (an actual sedan, which I haven’t been in for almost a decade, a much smoother ride and less forceful than most transfer vehicles which align with the prison experience) for a short ride (three minutes maybe) and as I took in the world on my right and the prison on my left and the alien yet nostalgic smoothness of the cruise and my affinity for long car ride and haircuts (which I told the guards that car rides are like haircuts, it makes you want to nap, they laughed and agreed) tears fell down my eyes

the ride over, they observed asking if I’m OK, I tried to explain and they understood…up into the MRI truck for the next 30 minutes siloed into a machine tunnel, back into the world of subtle force, noises, and tight spaces, all to find a remedy for affliction… another prison
but I felt a freedom so pure, it drew no blood but tears

so I reflected in this noisy tomb, amazed at how powerful a car ride can be and now having a new thing to look forward to on the endless list of things missed and yet to be experienced which I have a hard time fathoming and imagining while inside of the prison of my temporary escape

sometimes you must experience in order to know what it is you desire most
as experience increases both imagination and knowledge

we rode back, and they told me I can walk slowly, we’re going to the same place, no rush…their way of saying, it’s OK, I get it, can’t do much for you but this, so enjoy and soak it up

even guards are humans…I guess, if you force my hand to acknowledge this truth that is lol
in a world of sides, I was forced to pick mine but there’s a place where we can all meet at those “fine lines” and find commonality

this said from a revolutionary who understands that that thought is unfortunately just that, revolutionary

and it snowed on Easter… maybe I should send this out as a writing?

Way