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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Culture

Hemmed in Him

March 23, 2018 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Bend over and accept him

sometimes quicker than desired,

compliment his manhood, tell him work ethic is good

beautiful liar,

His pride is the responsibility of your heart

don’t let him down,

He’s more fragile than testosterone will allow him to admit

he’s gender bound,

Cook for him, act like you love it;

Replace his beer and endure his quips as you bend over by the oven;

Act pleased, when he grabs your ass unexpectedly, though sometimes you rather he not touch it;

But you know he loves it

so you play good wife at home and in public

When did love turn choirs, compliance, & obligations? but he’s your husband

Damn…the reality of a woman, is so numbing

In a man’s world, a woman’s value outside of her love and body that we hover, trying to discover, what she covers,

because it’s all we covet…is nothing

Filed Under: Culture, Trauma

Been through it

January 15, 2018 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I been through the system, symptoms
Been opened my eyes mom and dad was missing, mission
I try to talk to the world but the world won’t listen, vision
When I close my eyes more prayers and wishing
And then I open my eyes, nay Sayers and critics
New places of living, I never prayed for forgiveness
I couldn’t take to religion, too many pages were missing
I worried more about my stomach aches, not my faith that was missing
No help, they ain’t fit to live in the world that I live in
I guess it’s safe to say they stayed in denial from distance
No peers on the side of the aisle when I was on trial as a misfit
Dad dead, mom in prison
Separated from siblings
I hold my head up and wonder if God is listening
Then ask him why I feel pain
So much trauma in my life now I don’t feel pain
I don’t feel sane..I been through this system

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Mercy, Trauma

Blues

January 15, 2018 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

You got the blues, you lookin like ‘well what’s new?’
You ain’t been hurt in awhile…’cause you haven’t  let no one else through
You feel a lot safer when you closed off
You feel less sacred with your clothes off
You feel real naked when you go out
Attention isn’t really what you about
It feels more real when it’s one on one
But it hurts too much from the one on one
Especially when you feel like he the one
And then he adds company, you like “bye boy cause I’m not the one”
I see you stand strong on your own two
But it’s been too long on your own two
You ain’t about Russian, you American, you ain’t about rushin, that’s the wrong move
You ain’t trying to be anybody’s property, you don’t want to let a man own you
You don’t want just any man on you
Being strong, you don’t have nothing left to lose
These men don’t change and the days seem the same, oh girl, yea you got the blues

Filed Under: Culture, Love, Spirit, Trauma

Inside Out

January 15, 2018 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I’m tryna live inside out my means
I woke up inside a dream
Whispers inside a scream
Trying to find “me” inside of team
Giving while there’s nothing left
Living inside of death
Trying to find the “why’s” inside my ex
Finding more inside of less
I’m living inside out my means
I’m an accomplished contradiction is what that means

Filed Under: Culture, Inside, Spirit, Trauma

Go Girl

January 15, 2018 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Go head girl, get ahead girl
But don’t be giving head and don’t be spreading your legs girl
You lost playin it safe, now you living on the edge girl
Keep your distance from those predators, don’t keep sharing your bed girl
Sometimes the company you keep will keep you from comfortable sleep
You may lay awake scared to see your face in a dream,
Because the things you faced chasing your dream
The best thing you can do is think
Don’t try to numb it in a drink
The best thing you can do is blink
In that mirror above your sink
Don’t sink, never crawl up and shrink
You may not be far from the brink
It’s easy to fall in the dark, you may feel like you fallin apart
But you came too far just to fall
Never stray far from your heart, remember to follow your heart
And…go head girl, get ahead girl

Filed Under: Culture, Love, Mercy, Spirit

Would you

January 15, 2018 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Would you jump from the edge of a cliff
Into the deepest abyss
Where imagination exists
And infatuation with risk
Like infatuation with wrists
Where imagination desists
Would you let it flow, or reap what you sow, over a hole while becoming whole from a stitch?
So many problems we fix
We treat problems like a fix
The reason problems exist
Because we’re the problem to fix
would you..

Filed Under: Culture, Trauma

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

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