you know how they say
happy wife, happy life
well, energy transfers
those you surround yourself around most
those you sleep with, and sleep near most
have a weighing effect on you
whether that effect be for the good or bad
my cellmate is a pessimistic lifer
fighting for his freedom in court tirelessly
being railroaded time and time again,
just because he represents himself
and has a clear case to be freed
yet the law shows that it doesn’t work for people like him
at least not in any healthy and promised speed
disregarding the seconds he waits
as his life tick, tocks, tick-tocks, on by
for a young black man that has aged with me in this system
having our ups and downs
once a high school basketball figure
and all-around athlete
too smart for his own good
rebelliously sly and uncaring
now bald
fattened by stress eating and withdrawal
and even darker internally
than his skin
still smart, rebellious, and hides pain well
but even more jaded than life had first made him
his dark humor and all rubbing and weighing on me
it’s heavy
I hear it, see it, and feel it
everyday
even if he claims his freedom one day
time has already done its damnedest
what is darker than dark?
Culture
History of People of African Descent in the World and U.S.
history books
inside of a curriculum
of indoctrination
as opposed to educating
is more histrionics
and hysterical diatribes,
demagoguery, and pontificates of patriarchy
supremacy, and domination
than historically accurate or truthful
so yea, it’s not hard to believe that you don’t understand us
it’s not hard to believe that you do not know us
it’s not hard to believe that you do not hear us
it’s not hard to believe that you can not see us
it’s not hard to believe that you can not and do not believe us
it’s not hard to believe that you can’t truly love and appreciate,
what has been seen as savages,
and treated as pets, tools, and objects of subjugation
to which you only view as
us people needing your help
and so it’s even less hard to believe that you fear us first
because all usually fear what they do not know
it’s even less hard to believe that we can not love, trust,
see, hear, believe, know, and understand ourselves
because our history has misled, not only us,
but the world and other colonized societies, countries, and continents
history only reflects its modern leaders in favorable lights
that’s why it’s still hard for people in the free world of America,
to address this country’s original sins-
to its Native and African peoples
I heard it said, and have come to believe,
“when someone tells a perfect lie,
the truth becomes unbelievable”
but I say, even when someone tells an imperfect lie long enough,
the truth becomes hard to believe
but as the maxim goes,
“in every lie,
there is a little truth”
but to keep that truth from surfacing,
you stomp it!
oppress it!
kill it!
then free it!
stunt it!
stifle and smother it!
blame it!
then aid it, to keep it in place and stagnant
because perception rules reality
and how we are seen
has ruled our experience
so we even hate and fear ourselves
reflecting the same projected distortions and energy placed upon us,
to each other
we’re just crabs in a bucket climbing, slipping, pinching at one another
just for resources that have been made limited to us
just for equal opportunity which has been limited to us
just to feel free
because we can not get free
despite the fabled rhetoric of equality and “the American Dream”
which only creates in people the belief that we all get a fair shake
and if we do not make anything of our life,
then that is Our fault
we should work instead of being lazy violent, drug addicts
check and assistance receptors that tax dollars are wasted upon
“to oppress a people,
so that they will always act in your interest,
you have to take three things
1.-their history
2.-their language
3.-their psychological factors, which are called, VIP’s(values, interests, and principles)”
that, my fellow citizens of the world
is called enslavement
and its continued engagement and success inside a society ran by capitalism
where the rhetoric of “friendly, fair, and equal competition”
disguises the words, “domination, subjugation, and privilege”
all which create continued and revolving oppression,
inequality
iniquities
injustice
miseducation
conditioning
disenfranchisement and the like
all in the name of, and for, “power”
which is disguised as “capital, position, and influence”
fueling a classism and tribalism political and economical system of
“have’s
and have not’s”
now lower, impoverished, urban communities
become antagonist to the middle and upper class’s pursuit of happiness
the governing body becomes the active experience and rhetoric creators
and the policing body becomes the active enforcers of oppression
as people of color and lesser means meet the brunt
and blunt force trauma of survival by any means
because enforcer’s family and positions must be protected and in a permanent place
so true equality and opportunity threatens all of that
which is why egalitarianism is a foreign word
and socialism is demonized as the work of the devil
because nothing more is shown
therefore tradition is protected over truth
and change is feared more than prepared for
and embraced
only braced for,
as if it is the enemy of peace, comfort, and privilege
people believe police protect
those people live the American Dream largely
a bigger group of people experience police as brutal
on the brutality end of their protection
that protection is of property over people
white America and its illusions of manifest destiny
and the status quo
witness the whole world tuning into The Chauvin Trial
German, Spanish, British, Australia, France, and other media outlets all there
just as they tuned in to
with worldwide protests, of George Floyd’s Death
not only because America’s standing in the world being viewed as a double standard and one of hypocrisy
but because the rhetoric and policing experience of
inequality, oppression, and brutality against minorities all over the world
because there is a George Floyd or Sandra Bland
and many more,
everywhere
yet it is acted as if it is a phenomenon
and we have become better and learned from our devils of the past
false!
it has only been creatively hidden and woven into the fabric of our society
the trauma of the repeated watching of George Floyd’s Death
is but a bit of the everyday experience of Peoples of African Descent
daily!
that is a failure of democracy
AND
Humanity
but as I said,
and has been said,
there is truth in every lie
so one must ask
with all that is said of People of African Descent
combined with continued conditions, mass imprisonment, perceptions, and brutality of,
and
against them worldwide and in our U.S.
keeping most people in ignorance
and in denial of their experience
what Truth is being hidden about us?!
what truth that would validate this whole worldly systemical effort against them
that us regular people of conditioning, indoctrination, privilege, and poverty are not aware of
maybe what you could find
would change your whole view of the world’s history
or
you can just accept that people are inherently evil
after all, that may be easier
Residue (song by WayOfLife)
feel like I’m at the bottom, even when I’m at the top
well everything don’t mix-
I got so much left to prove, that’s why I can never stop
cuz everything can’t fix
and ignorance ain’t bliss
some things I gotta shake-up
too much weight- I had to break up
some love lost- I had to make up
options made- I had to take one
blame was gave- I had to face them
pain is always instigatin
I’m just steady renovatin
no escape- just immigration
I suppose I’m ventilating..
and what should I choose?…
cuz it’s starting to feel like no matter what I do somebody will lose
some things will cut,
and some things will bruise
but WayOfLife worry bout you
cuz they will not walk in your shoes
they have an opinion but they do not have any clue
when you was in prison, they never seen from your view
did they ever think about you?
out of sight out of mind…
but now that you’re back in their view
they want interviews
they wanna hear what’s deep inside of you
like what is your truth
cuz they wanna check how you feel about them,
they really aren’t worried bout you
feel like I’m at the bottom, even when I’m at the top
well everything don’t mix-
I got so much left to prove, that’s why I can never stop
cuz everything ain’t fixed
and ignorance ain’t bliss
some things I gotta shake up
too much weight- I had to break up
some love lost-I had to make up
options made- I had to take one
blame was gave- I had to face them
pain is always instigatin
I’m just steady renovatin
no escape just immigration
I suppose I’m ventilating
and you got two sons…
and you had a family, but you ain’t see them
they know bout your sons…
but they never checking on them
and you read the signs…
decipher them inside your songs
they only see wrongs
they all did you wrong
I don’t know how you stayed strong
I don’t know how you stayed strong…
well you had some friends..
that acted like family when family ain’t there,
and you know that’s rare…
your pain that they share
they showed you they care
you never complained, they know life ain’t fair
and you was embarrassed–
but they told you cherish
the things you inherit
cuz it gave your talent and passion some merit
you had to climb up out the cem-e-tary
the cross that you bared
inside the pen that you carried
in the pen-e-ten-ti-ar-y
you had a light that they told you don’t bury
believed and envisioned, you a visionary
but sometimes those visions get scary…
cuz sometimes it’s too hard to carry
sometimes it’s too hard and heavy
feel like I’m at the bottom, even when I’m at the top
well everything don’t mix
I got so much left to prove, that’s why I can never stop
cuz everything ain’t fixed
and ignorance ain’t bliss…
Learning to Speak and Live for More than Just Me
I tried calling myself an activist
but that is a process
a process of enduring more than just your own pain
but managing the pain of others
making it harder to deal with your own problems
I forgot about all the breakdowns and failures on the way
I believed I went through it all, so what could be worse
but it is the steady longsuffering that you sign up for
the energies that you absorb as your own
the radar and target that you place upon yourself
the many obstacles and obstructions that come at you
the people in power that want to silence you
the ones that want to keep everything the same by any means necessary
I forgot about this
I forgot about having to make decisions not only for myself,
but for my sons,
for my support system and partners
and for the people behind the walls
there is no real peace
peace has to be found inside the work
contentment has to be salvaged and honed in the process of it all
you have to be the person bigger than everyone that wants to make you smaller
you can’t slip up and have human moments
you must be as perfect as you can be
I get it LeBron James
Colin Kaepernick
Ruth ‘kiki’ Bader-Ginsburg
Martin Luther King Jr
Malcolm X
Muhammed Ali
Billie Jean King
and the too many to name others
because if I mess up
it’s not only me that takes the hit
if I mess up, we all mess up
the message gets messed up
but it doesn’t stop here, ima bang my head
and keep banging it until there is nothing left to bang against
then I’ll turn around and say, “come, follow, and let’s lead together”
and we’ll look forth to more barriers to break down, together
but for now, I will take the hits and the brunt of it all
just like the many before me
because it’s never easy learning to speak and live for more than just yourself
A-merit-cuffs
since birth I was arrested A-meri-cuffs
but we are divorced A-marry-ka
you do not make me happy A-merry-ka
I don’t neeeeeed you A-merry-ka
but to my Ameri-kinssss
of all colorrrs and shades of skinnnns
related in our different hues, cultures, views and how it all bleeeends
all these values that have arrested my developmeeent
to the many different places as a child I was sent
has shown me how I’m viewed and what that meant
without merit!
and I can’t bear it!
so I won’t parrot!
a life I can’t cherish!
a parish can’t keep my insides from feeling perished!
with onnnly the chase of carrots!
and noooone that I could inherit!
playing the dark cards dealt from sorceress’s tarots
so I’m walking away from this,
because this, is not my dream
this America, is actually, No-merit-cuffs!
Can I Live?
Sarah Grimke said,
I ask no favor for my sex,
all I ask from our brethren,
is that they take their feet off our necks
what she was asking was, “can we live?”
what she was demanding was, “let us live”
WayOfLife says,
I ask no handicap for my color
all I ask from my country
is that you release the leash from our neck
because every time we progress, we get whiplash
what I’m asking is, “can we live?”
although I have not met a traditional slave
every time I see my people
I view generational lashes that are still present today
and in denial, we cope, and call them birthmarks
but my mirror doesn’t lie, I know just what these scars represent
now, what I’m demanding is that you let me live
because I know how not to
and if you allow me to choose on the manner of which I do so,
since you want to control the manner of how I live,
then I will not be the only one to suffer for my long overdue peace
I refuse to sit back, passive and in fear of fighting for my freedom
I was born in, and to, captivity
but my spirit, nor my body, will continue to live, and die, in captivity
now let me, us, we, all LIVE!