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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Russell Wardlow

My Mom is Harriett Tubman

July 6, 2020 by Russell Wardlow 3 Comments

She created her own underground railroad
alluding abusive persecution
sacrificing dark man for son
escaping the enslavement of toxic love
the chains of loss
the raping lies
the beatings of regret
the whippings of judgement
the lynchings of abandonment
and at the risk of her own life

She came back time and time again
rescuing her own heart
throughout the sentences of character and place
transcending the imprisonment of emotional turmoil
an insurrection all of her own
breaking down the walls that barricaded her freedom
she came back time and time again
rescuing her heart
even when others told her to let it go
to move on and start over
that she’d be better off without her heart
her heart may be better off without her
still she trekked
and journeyed further and deeper than most will ever voyage in a lifetime


She never forgot that she was a mother
no matter what she went through
no matter how heavy the weight she bared
she came back for us
each of her four kids
the four chambers of her one heart
knowing the possibility of a chamber or two rejecting her
but she weathered each eventual heart attack
because she’d become accustomed to the battles of heart
those once foreign and now all too familiar battles, made her

She had never knew true peace
embracing each war
standing tall after the dust settled as a Goddess of War
Like Harriet Tubman, but her name is Amanda Wardlow!
the last name sounds so fitting
My Mom was just as fierce brave and courageous as Ms Tubman
and her whole life has been an underground railroad
to which may not be properly appreciated until she’s no longer around
and they will be in awe of her strength survival and willing sacrifices

She is history embodied
and a story to be shared for the many women of past and future generations
but also as a testament to the extent of human capability and resilience
because her index of love knew no boundaries
however flawed she may be
or may have been
she was human in that way
audaciously flawed to perfection
humility amongst certainty
she knows who she is
accepting she may never live to be fully understood or appreciated
and that’s what Heroines are made of.

Filed Under: Culture, Love, Spirit, Trauma

This isn’t Over

July 5, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

This is a call
for more to be invited

This isn’t just
a moment of excitement

This isn’t even a victory
because a few indictments

This was overdue
a match thrown over a trail of gas once ignited

This is a kerosene lamp tipped over
in the midst of scurrying about trying to hide it

This is what it looks like when black lives matters
because all lives matter
proof in the streets with the mixtures of cultured colors united

This is what it looks like under an umbrella of oppression
with human leftovers protesting still trying to fight it

This is what it looks like when America has been the biggest party
but some of its architecturing residents are rarely invited

This is what it looks like when the guiltiest minds turn a blind eye
and hide their thoughts behind the guise of their eyelids
acting as if they never knew or seen, with faces full of surprises

This is what it looks like when people have lived a life of compromising feeling compromised and settling no longer for compromises

This is what it looks like when the status quo is riled
and the stood on people and their allies form a league of defiance

This is what it looks like when remedies have been substituted with vices
and all content is parental consent
saturated by subliminal advertisements
geared to keep our minds idle-
worshiping idols sex and violence

Distracted from our own trials
and the vile styles
constructed to profile and corral
nonconformists and urban crowds
viewed as hostile

And pile them single file
for miles
in the same aisles
of blame and maimed with aimed projectiles of bile
labelled as chow

And we eat up those spoon fed lies like a child
looking at how we live, with fear defeat and shame aroused
every attempt shunted until we throw in the towel
all the while

Being the caulk, holding together this country’s tiles
laboring just to afford a house
or high end textures for style
just for respite from people seeing how
we really live, so maybe we’ll feel better in “outfits” of denial

Preferred sleep to an awakened state, living in doubt
of change, in chains, insane, in shame
shrouded in dark clouds
running from the past and now
tears flowing like the Nile
unable to see, what the time is

This is what it looks like
when we’ve changed the climate

This is what it looks like
when imprisoned freedoms become a mass of noncompliance

This is what it looks like
when uproar broke out from a peaceful kneel in silence
to a murderous knee taken to obstruct a peace being forever silenced

This is what it looks like
when the once small alive voices
speak out in unison from their graves as one great giant

LOOK America!
this is what “WE” look like

Now Watch and Wemember America!
because this is what “WE”
looks like

Because this is what it looks like
when the silenced have broken their silence

This is what it looks like
when allies awake face and embrace the challenge

Filed Under: Culture, Love, Spirit

Crash Dummy Love

July 4, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I’m your experiment
ingesting your placebos
your punching bag
absorbing ever blow
your pinata
waiting for you to break me
don’t feel guilty,
its OK, I let you do it
we both knew no better

Filed Under: Love

Faux pas

July 4, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Rebellious
nonconformist
anti-gov
spiritual
nonreligious
purge-aholic…catharsis
ecological egalitarian anarchist
liberated mind
independent views
unapologetically black unique and individualistic
willfully abrasive
black sheep
civilized savage
raw and uncut
truth hurts
lies kill
I am 180 stereo’typed’ WPM..haha get it?!
finger food eater-
spoon gets the scoop, forks poke and prod, knives cut and kill
but I’m hygienic polite empathetic and compassionate
I’m self aware, but risque
I don’t force my ways on the next
but I also don’t hide them
I am me and what I am
when the opportunity presents itself for me to be
then I say it while its thought
do it while its there
become it while I can
if ever asked,
I simply offer a door
a different thought
a challenge
or a question
all of which expand imagination,
pushing beyond comfort
puncturing holes in the box!
I’m not a freelance rebel with no cause
I choose pure love and liberation
not the sold and force fed type most people accept as ‘the way’
I create my own way of what’s already provided for me
I live in a mindset of eternal abundance and gratitude
I don’t judge, people are who they are
which helps me better see who I am
can’t bless one
and condemn the other
all things work in relation to one another
I rebel because
the way of our society disenfranchises that relationship
and exploits it for the sake of separation
which creates a tier of the weak
that are preyed on by a capitalist competitive society
with a survival of the fittest mindset
I crave harmony with
not against or at expense of my neighbor
I don’t choose to not succumb to conditions that stifle me
or my ever evolving identity and progress
I feel the pressure enough in feeling free to be me
I won’t adhere to being everyone else no longer
fuck that!
I was born a black eye
then I lived and gained a few more
so why settle for a way that’ll never truly accept me
conformity is the biggest form of fear
my view
society-authoritarians
president-fascist
politicians-capitalists
police-totalitarians
prosecutor, judge, parole-dictators
and everyone else is just obnoxiously ignorant judgmental and biased

Filed Under: Culture

Ebony Overtime

July 3, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

Black women have it the baddest
on average
they bend backwards
working 226 days added
to equal the average
white man’s salary without the status
while their ebony magic-
talk, dance, shape and style is sold to the masses

Filed Under: Culture

Heads Up

July 3, 2020 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

If you love me
just know
that I haven’t learned how to love myself yet
but I’m overly enthused about the opportunity
of being loved by someone else
more than I am worried about trying to learn
something that just seems too impossible
and not as important
when I can have someone like you do it for me


Besides,
what’s self love
when you can behold
someone else’s love
is that not more powerful
plus, you don’t know me like I know me
otherwise you wouldn’t want to know me
and I barely even know me
but I know you
you love me…or what you know
I don’t know if I can fully love you
if I don’t love me
though I love that you love me
but I just thought you should know
so, now you know…me

Filed Under: Love

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

Read More

  • Whose Mind is it Anyway June 30, 2022
  • Objects June 30, 2022
  • Same Thang, Different Name June 30, 2022
  • Optical Ill-lusions June 30, 2022
  • Hollow Symbols June 30, 2022

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