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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Fear For You (Spoken Word)

June 25, 2022 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I’m here for you
I fear for you
I fear with you
I wish I could take fear from you, but I’m scared…
goes to show you how fear grips you

it tears tissue!
it airs missiles!
it bears initials!

M.O.E
R.I.P
D.O.A
D.O.D credentials
prison number essentials…

now don’t you dare withdraw tear and talk down on the symbols my homies represented
and the scriptures my dead homies ascended
ever since my dead homies ascension
I ain’t pretending,
you see where I’m at with it!

you see their sacrifice on my shirt and skin depicted in a picture for eternal dominion,
yea some of the realest!
and pour to their pain, share their stories and I live with the risks every minute
I grew up with real vets and lieutenants
as broke tenants with everything rented
but fresh tennis
and slugs so don’t throw salt!

and unless its love, I swear you best not mention their name
or on my dead homies, for this idea
I’ll ride for like “bad boys for life,” until I die, never testify and live out this sentence
without repentance!

I got him before he paid me a visit,
that’s street penance

yea JC, we Just Criminals, and I’ll kill you for pennies
just trying to release the tension
no happy ending,
what’s happy anyway?!

not the way I’m living
this day was predicted the day I was delivered
I made prophets out of governmental figures
and got nothing divine to show for those holiest visions

sac religious and dogmatic statistics
saw thru the holes in me and the holes I committed
born with deadly intentions
paradox proposed from my beginnings
and I do me just as they intended
despite consequences unintended
no oops, where was your antennas?!

this my nature!
I’m a created soldier bred for war!
fighting for resources, zoning districts, and street credit scores
my pedigree need a pedicure from stomping in these trenches

yea I even made a few dents in a divot of dirt for burying more dead and I’m indifferent!
I’m indifferent
I’m indifferent,
you wouldn’t get it, fuck your opinion, I kill all critics!

crickets…yea, sounds more like it!

fear, sounds more like this

hear, sounds. soar. flight. risk.

bang!!!

sound bodes voids. filled with silence, then sirens

down. goes. tight. grip.

sounds. so. life. less.

I fear for you, cuz my fear is you, and it’s all I can do

is become my fear, I’m my worsest fear, and my fear is proof

of how fear grips you, and harms anyone nearest you

I fear for you, cuz I’m scared for you, cuz I’m scared of you

I’m scared of you, cuz what I may do, ain’t repairable

Filed Under: Trauma

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

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