I have a dream that I had a dream I sleep!
bout the many different ways I can get killed as a fella…
or felon
however you identify with either dwelling
you see
this world don’t want me to succeed
or exceed
unless it is in need
but not in the way that I breed
unless they can snatch the rights of those women that bear my seed
whom are as bare as my seed
in the commission of our deepest deeds
and ‘they’
can be advantaged by their greed
by the hearts us poor lonely and lowly wear on our sleeves
day to day as we grieve
in one way of another by the many ways we bleed
in one way or another
for another
or an other
pain is how a pariah or parasite feeds
imposed on by a powerful leech
seethe
nibbling on my being every waking moment like how a toddler teeth’s
thieves
so whatever I may achieve
may be lived brief
sheesh
because as sure as I soweth, so I shall reap
deep
beneath sights unseen
reach
beyond sights I see
preach
…don’t preach
teach
peep!
I need to peel off visuals you see
but not genes
just whatever it seems you see and seek
each week
beyond biases which peak your feats each week
preach
…don’t preach
teach
peep!
each week you seek that which makes you more weak each week
ease
preach
…don’t preach
teach
peep!
you lunge you jump you leap but seep in creeks made deep because you sleep on feet in feats you deem to be out your reach and hide what leaks from eyes yet bleed for sights you see that seem so sweet yet sleep to sights unseen but dream to peek and peak at new heights you reach!
preach
…don’t preach
teach!
peep
so let me peel back this thing you see called color
preach
…don’t preach
teach
peep
now I can rise and not sink in the same sink my thoughts I think which sink in the same sink I’ve sunk from rinse waters not drunk made mud from dirt my hurt in a place as dark as where I’m from
my son bleeeeedsssss!
his dad pleadssss!
have mercy pleeeaaasseee!
my God seeeeee!
that my dream is my deepest fear!
that I outlive my kids in the same world I’m trying to get free to yet stay free from after all these years
pleeeeaaasseeee!
because you may have more influence than I!
ten years, and I haven’t even heard as much as my son’s mind
and still dream to hear my son’s cry
just so I can say I’m here, daddy’s here, daddy’s home, whether it be ego or heart or both
that I would die for a chance to be there during one of my son’s many lows
before life deals them or I a fatal blow
that would threaten to turn me into the very insatiable and unstoppable monster this world thinks I am and bred me to be
yea yea
beating on my chest like king Kong, you got nothing on me!
lil Wayne speaks, feed me rappers or feed me beats!
either way IMA eat
yea yea!
cuz there’s nothing no more, I’m lost without me!
what do I mean?!
my son said he looks in the mirror and sees me, my oldest sees me but hurt by that truth, so either way, if I lose them I lose me
fruit of my loins, if I lose myself I lose them
either way, I still lose me
and I been losing it or me for years in the dream of sleep you see?!
if you see beyond the sights you see into the unseen seen and seams and scenes we reap!
preach
…don’t preach
teach!
retweet
repeat!
peep!
and I been losing it or me for years in the dream of sleep you see?!
if you see beyond the sights you see into the unseen seen and seams and scenes we reap!
so if I stay sleep this dream will be!
you see?!
what do I fear???
I fear for my sons and I fear for their father
our father, who art in…never mind, why bother
because he has too much to do, than to be bothered
by three different versions of toddlers
two of which may be more mature spiritually and closer to him than that of their father
age is nothing but accumulated turmoil and metaphysical fodder
the math says,
two sons and a father plus a father
which is really two kids, one toddler, and one father
I’m the toddler if you follow
fodder is bullshit, please follow
how am I supposed to direct my sons in a world to which they see farther
believing because I developed more years to which I see and think then by process of elimination
despite many processes eliminated
due to pigmented discrimination
reservations
circumstantial incrimination
my ego’s artificial insemination
being too inorganic to authentically see that I’m in the matrix
amidst coveting illusions chauvinism misogyny and women hatred
but I’m supposedly smarter!
demented thoughts, toxic emotions harbored
induced deadly imaginations
attacking my future with my past’s presence hoping to be vindicated
I need ventilation! (gasp!)
from all this guilt that enters like dry and raw penetration
emotional rapist!
every minute anchored
by limits and anger
and hope is too intimidating with all the pain I’ve Eric Garnered!
far cries from honor
yes sir’s and yes your honor-trauma
farces I’ve chartered
farces are lies, a word used to keep with the rhyme
before the competition for your attention or the opposition of distraction begins to rise
my partners all parted, blame their dishonor
death over anything less and yonder
this is a long way off from a parable of why should my sons heed the lessons of their father
same sentiments of the godless
fuck thought, fuck answers, flared nostrils
color power!
back to the departed father
you remember, it’s me, the toddler
why should a toddler preach
…don’t preach
but teach
lessons of the father
as a father
reflect on that with those who have platforms preaching religions who have yet to empty their closets
yet fill up their wallets
I keep getting sidetracked on all this fodder
when my lessons may do nothing but breakthrough their armor
and I’m telling myself I’m bettering them, steadying my emotions amidst my lowest devotions
readying them by my experiences as they may be getting destroyed by my karma
our father!
in my attempts to create harmony
will my words be a healing agent or just be more harmful
that’s why this is but a sleepy dream
so my death isn’t from being unconscious
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