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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Reflecting to my Son

May 12, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

reflecting on where has my life gone
remembering everything that I ever did wrong
sometimes I rather quit trying to be strong
because chances take time, and patience takes too long

but then I remember you
and how all my past choices have injured you
even now, if I ever gave up how it would still hinder you
and I can’t be another stick in your finger that splinters you

though you may not understand it yet but resilience will center you
and giving up on love will make you winter blue
I used to be fractioned, fractured, flipping out, living upside down like the reciprocal
so I understand the sounds when I say I’ve changed and grown-up now, and why you may still be cynical

and I wish I could say we are identical, but you way better than me
so I’m glad that God makes us all different, because there’s a lesson in who you are not, and who you are trying to be
I’m a father trying to be seen like his son, and in that is how I can truly be free
it kinda sounds biblical, because you are the example of being better, in life even the children can lead

and I was living a lie most my life, but the love of you has helped me to truly be me
we have to live in our truths no matter the pain it may cause, otherwise we can’t breathe
I can say I’m changing for you, but honestly I had to change for my self first
I had to look in the mirror, through the lies and pain, and makeover my self worth

I’m no longer thin-skinned, but I remember the first time I felt yours
I was a living hell, but you had that kind of glowing beauty that would make a farther fight his way back from hell for
and we all have our stories, regrets, and wish things can be perfect
but it all works out for a higher reason, you may call it God’s plan, because everything has a purpose

it may not happen when we desire, but patience is divine
so we have to be OK with not trying to control time
because needing to control things can keep you in the blind
and there will be bigger things right in front of you that you’ve lost, hoping you will find

everything works for a higher good, within God’s design
so the hardest thing is loving and forgiving yourself, because we can get trapped in our own minds
which is the reason it was hard for me to write you, because I have been trapped in mine
but the writings on the wall, so its time I read the signs

Filed Under: Inside, Love

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

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