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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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The Verdict

April 23, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

guilty
guilty
guilty
I admit,
before I heard it
I was apprehensive
doubtful and nervous
it’s a privilege to not be these things
it’s a privilege to believe in justice
do you understand that?
I wish I could say that I was confident,
that I knew for certain
that
guilty
guilty
guilty
would be the verdict
there was jubilation
a general excitement and vindication
but a celebration is only for successes
and rare occasions
but the fact remains
George Floyd can’t come back
he just can’t!
his death ingrained in my mind
as a reality check of black lives still
after all that has been
his pleas burning my ears
the very departing of his spirit and soul
almost perceptible to the naked eye
and then
I began to think about the life
Chauvin would now enter
where taking knees do not implicate a winner
a condemned place of sinners
hell on earth for convicted offenders
a kind of purgatory
or hell
that I wish on no one
but then again
the man he killed
didn’t ask to be a sacrifice
your knee did not seem like it cared that its weight
was on someone
but your knee turned ‘no one’
into somebody
somebody bigger than your mercilessness
a cruelty fit for where you are headed
a place that tears into a human being
as it splits families at the seams
but I get it
I know what you felt
life flashing before your eyes
composure struggling to maintain
a feigned showing of strength
in the jaws of fear and helplessness
the same fear and helplessness that your knee
and weight of your body orchestrated
but I’ve heard it all before
as if in a dream
so I know what
guilty
guilty
guilty
means
and frankly,
I became a proud and jovial schadenfreude
watching you handcuffed gave me admitted joy
although the pain and purgatory of prison is a vacuumed void
sucking away all that you have, as it seeks and destroys
and we crowded around the TV, parading, me and my boys
knowing behind these walls, there is no backup you can call
and the response for help
is as slow as your reaction to pleas of George Floyd
along with the slow arrival of an ambulance deployed
as your belief in righteous and humane service, duty
and peace keeping, has all been a ploy
so I’m happy that reality caught up to your guiltiness
and misery will need company,
be sure to send out your visit lists
prison is getting one that it deserves
and it will be your breath that you hope
they protect and serve
when all they see is
guilty
guilty
guilty
30 years after Rodney King
damn a verdict never sounded so sweet

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

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