hard for my heart to give-a-beat
it’s hard for me to give-a-fuck
it’s hard for me to pay you mind
it’s hard for me to give-a-attention
when the state takes all my time
it’s hard for me to give-you-patience
when my body’s running out of time
I’m boutta lose my mind!
ok
I’m tryna fit this narrative that you all think of me
but it’s hard to not worry bout what my peers may think of me
will they think I’m weak?
or think I’m me?
well silly me
I think I’m weak
cuz I have not been me since the day I took a plea!
I’m tryna be
this little
middle
civil
bit of sour grapes
and pickles
with no quibbles
write my scribbles
draw my prickles
say pain tickles
while blood trickles-
drops and ripples
ice my heart, while my veins sickle
my pulse double dribbles
shhh…
shuffled mug shots
my eyes-blood shot
my mind-buck shut
no ties-what knot?
my life-hard knocks
freedom-far out
no light-dark out
hollup!
what do you think of me?
who do you think I am?
why do you think I am?
why do you think that is?
who do you think you are?
eh mhm…
you do not know me
that’s only the old me
go way you don’t owe me
I rather be lowly and lonely
while I’m dying slowly
you only
could owe me
a moment
consoling
the coldest
unfolding of poses
behold it and notice
that that was me showing
the pressure imposed-
by supposed proposals
betrayals and photos
all losing their focus
when they all get lost in the open
soaking up exposure
my battered and broken composure has swollen!
and I’m boutta go over the edge, cuz I die and I live in the moment!
and I do not neeeeeed your help
I rather go bleeeeeed myself
cuz I can not beeeee myself
cuz u want me to be someone else
gone..
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