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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Home is Where I Had to Make

March 18, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

I feel the beast calling to me
consuming me back into her belly
and it feels so familiar
so warm and homely
nostalgically remembering it being my home
I developed inside of her
cooing like a baby to her grumblings
rocked to sleep by her roars
kept warm by the fire broiling inside of her
and now that she has called me back,
back home
I wonder if this is,
in fact, my true home
because strangely,
I feel more comfortable inside of her belly
as if this was her womb
and birthed the warrior and man that I came to be
what would I be outside of her
who would I be without her
though she breeds danger
I know her softer side
I know her what’s deep inside
because it is where I reside
and the inside is what counts
though the hypocrisy of the world only knows her externally
so she is named, regarded, and judged as doom
and men, wounded men-
seen as savages-
are sent to her to meet their doom
but it was the wretched ways of the world-
that first doomed me-
funny how that works
and as I claim to desire to get back out
to have my freedom above all else
not for the mere fact of having freedom
because I have found that within myself,
but for what I would now do with freedom
yet I found freedom inside, of all places
do I want to get out?
do I really?
the embers of flame brooding inside of her
sending shockwaves to my spine
as my hairs rise like a porcupine’s
salivating as I open my mouth to ventilate
the smoke inhalation is akin to fresh baked cookies out of the oven
and I feast upon my own destruction
what else is there to do?
this, is no place for man
this is no place for mail
but like any cast away,
I was forced to make it a place for me
while I was returned to the belly of the beast
with a note, “damaged male, return to sender”
because the world and I still had things to address
and freedom hadn’t built a home for me yet

Filed Under: Inside, Mercy

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

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