I act as if you aren’t there
but we both know you aren’t
you can’t handle being ignored
and you let me know about it every time I try
you’ve been there longer than anyone ever has
and ever will be
even in my quiet and loneness
holding onto me closely,
as I dream of a world without you
I could admire your presence
and scribe it as divinely ominous
but I won’t!
only God should have that power
the truth is
you’re too jealous and clingy!
you can never let go!
you’ve never even given me a second to myself-
a day of seeing if I could find my way without you
as if I’m no one without you!
what an ego!
and and and…you know what else?!
to tell the truth!
I hate that we have to coexist together!
you’re always there, yet you aren’t
we never speak
I feel you, and you feel like nothing!
yet your damn forceful ass hands never leave me be
gripping, clawing, clutching, pulling at me
and I’m not your punching bag
why do you get to go unchecked huh?!
what makes you so special?!
you put me down!
you don’t hold me down, you pull me down!
you don’t just bring me down to earth,
you keep me down on earth!
and even beneath it!
you hate my rise and cause my plummet!
and if I jump, you pull
if I walk, you contain me
if I fall, you speed my decent
you attack my resilience, and fight my resistance
enslaving me to your desires!
you don’t compliment me, you dominate me!
what kind of relationship is this?!
you stress me
aging me, pulling at my flesh
you weigh upon my spin and joints, until I hunch and hobble
you’re too heavy to bear
oh and did I say we never speak?!…yea, not even a sooound!
you ride ’til I die
and yet I bare it all, all of you!
how could I ever love you?!
you force your way upon me, invading my whole existence
and yet I live with you daily
never even challenging as much as I should
submissive to your will
because this has always been one-sided
and you like it that way
I’m your company, misery!
and you’re my schadenfreude!
no matter how creative I’ve gotten in escaping your clutches-
fleeing the fate you desire most for me-
you always had a way,
of bringing me right back to you
and without a choice, I embrace you
the trap that you are
not even knowing how to exist without you
Stockholm I surmise
since birth, you’ve always been there
like a guardian angel or my fatal attraction
I grew into your knowledge
now I age in your understanding
and decay to your wisdom
I can’t live without you
and I hate that I have to live with you
but where would I be, if there was no you
where would I be headed?
I guess you know that answer don’t you?
anywhere but down
and anywhere but straight/somewhere
my direction would be lost
whatever free will I had in that choosing
I guess…I’d be lost without you…Gravity
I need you more than you need me
and the earth knows it
and worst of all,
you know it
but just for one day
juuuust one day
I’d love to know how it would feel…
you know, ..without you
could I ever survive splitting up with you?
and even if I knew how to find both the strength and wisdom to part ways…
dare I tempt fate and defy you?
after all, curiosity might kill the…
but I’ve died more than 9 lives just today
and I can’t wait to see what tomorrow holds
I’ve misjudged you
you’ve only ever been opportunity
opportunity to live
and I will remain as curious as any cat
therefore, I leap!
I act as if you aren’t there