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Prose of a Con

Poetry and Prose by Russell Wardlow

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Gripping the Lines

February 3, 2021 by Russell Wardlow Leave a Comment

there’s a line
everywhere there are lines
lines that form
lines that border
and lines you don’t cross!
I’m gripping tight to this phone
where I’ve let a few slip from the corner of my seers
but I can’t be seen
and I can’t stop the leak
and I’m trying!
I’m trying so hard for this damn emotional dam NOT to break
because that is a line
a line that you don’t cross!
a line…that I can’t
I just can’t cross
because weakness preludes mealtime in the jungle
I can’t expose where, and that,
I may be weak…
or weakened
throughout any week
or day!
not even Sunday!
but the levy is wavering
my eyes are wading
and my heart couldn’t be any worse for wear
because I had nothing to lose once upon a time
then things, unforeseen, became good and well
but when the wellness is lost
then the well spills forth
and no tossed coins can change what is
so although this phone disconnected 5minutes ago
I’ve been here
clinging tight
pantomiming a conversation
while I sneakily wipe at my eyes
feigning laughter and a jovial disposition
hoping no predators or none the wiser
because if they see that line being crossed
there will be even more lines to be crossed
all to arrive back behind the same drawn lines,
which keep me safe
while hiding my pain
because at this phone station
I’m in camouflage
seen but unseen
and low enough as to not be heard
unless of course, the phone time expires
but who can tell, when I laugh so audaciously
through this misery,
this pit and pool of shame
but I must remain masked
because warriors don’t cry
and this phone…
well its my shield
and so I cling tight to it
because it could mean my life
and this gtl moment, was and has always been,
more than just a phone call
it was freedom
it was an embrace
it was peace
and it is my shield
therefore, I grip onto the lines
because this is one line that can never be crossed

Filed Under: Inside, Trauma

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Prose of a Con

Prose of a Con is a collection of Russell Wardlow’s prose and poetry written entirely behind bars. Through writings on family, spirituality, freedom, love, justice, redemption, and vulnerability, Russell seeks to show the humanity and hope of individuals like himself who are incarcerated.

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