Hmmm

I’m passionate I guess
I’m just an emotional wreck
my drive is crazy, my life I’ve been crash dummy
I ram into the fork prongs in every road, because split decisions appear too fast for me
my rearview is too near, I soon veer, then cruise by, embracing the scenery as souvenirs
I hoard the past, it controls my future but why can’t sooner be near
it’ll all get greater Russ, the sooner you’re here
yea yea I know, same quote rolling around at the end of every GoodYear
but I’m Tokyo drifting, I’m never present
I flee the moment, the bottom of my cup glitters resin
I try to cope, insoluble solutions attempt to blend but they end up drowning
don’t mean to be a downer
but I understand it better, what else is gravity for
I agitate gravel kickin rocks as my shoes drag with the floor
I binge on coffee, in need of stimulants
I don’t need your sentiments
I just want to be as free as I can be like speech and limitless
but my guilty pleas, bleed my innocents
the bandage don’t fit
the bandage can’t stick
and I’m just like it-I too am stuck in a bad place
pretend to be doing better than I am, like a famous catchphrase
(if u knew better, you’d do better)
pain is weakness leaving my body, but like the lucky number 7, just let me be weak
I could do without feigned excitement, doing time doesn’t call for it, just let me be bleak
this is my moment of pity
though I never do take it
I stand on this hill
and I yell I’m alive
just to see if u hear me
then maybe you’ll see me
get close and you’ll feel me
and maybe believe
that this life that I’m living just isn’t so easy!
I want to celebrate!
I want to be in a group of mutual love,
with family and friends that love me and wanna see me elevate
I wanna look in a mirror that isn’t in a prison
just to see if the reflection of me would be different
I wanna look out and beyond into a window that isn’t a prism
just to imagine if I could absorb the new perceived distance
forget my mugshot profile, I want to be remembered smiling
I want to be seen for my talents
and how I met every challenge
and how I swallowed every last drop of pride, because there was gallons
hydrated everyday as I faced my greatest competitor showcased in the mirror
bouquets and standing o-vays as I stand strong on two feet with two arms and both raised because I am fearless
I am culturally soulful, and the manifestation of spirit
buts its my flesh that gets trapped then continually judged as if I’m forever stuck in a mirror..to be continued