living in this 10×6, 24/7, 365 x 9 1/2- 12 doing 14-20 as 78756
numerically numbing
I am a number!
I am just nothing
but something you count, but nothing you count on, just someone you count out, but I am not down for the count…
all those titles and opinions have no dominion, I’m drowning them out
tho I’m drowning right now
lately I been a downer engulfing downers
over the counter
hoping I counter
and end up on the upswing
my chin up regardless of what u must think
was a gangsta, Im a felon
was a dad, now I’m a father
I am mistake, live in it daily
I live in the open, you judge me and comment
I have more in common with all that you hiding inside of your conscience if you’re being honest
you are just like me
I am a broken promise
a hope for progress
a note that focuses on the wrongs I wrote, I right, I might just have a couple more wrongs to write, so I these poems I write might work to heal me inside!
psyche
how many numbers will u see before u think of me
all this attention seeking I guess this is what it takes for u to think of me
5 4 3…my final countdown is steady/heavy
2 1…u forgot about me already
Jesus pray for me
I hate these demons that prey on me
keep the devil away from me
keep me awake and the shovel away cuz I’m digging my grave tryna find an escape a fire scape, a higher place, in dier straight cuz my old ways, continue to rain on me
my past sins have domain on me
put a stain on me
tried relying on my genes, but im weaker than my denim and its seams, weaker than I seem, don’t wanna be seen, see, im living in my shame, I just wanna change, but these days, stay the same, I try to pray, but I can’t, lay and wait, omg! i cant relate, to, amazing grace, thru, prison gates, new, vision paints u, in a grey view, integrate, orange is the new hate suit, life takes u, in a maze, just a phase, but it still phase u, and ya past still chase u, I just wanna have renewed faith thru, and be faithful, but I’m feeling foolish like April, I try to troop and stay true, i try to stay glued, to ur pages, like cable, but without a cane, i aint abel, to make it to, page two, Lord if I changed my language, could u understand?! yo necessito, Jesus
You don’t see a person
you only see percentage
you only read the sentence
you only see the prison
but there’s people in it
you only count the numbers
overly medicated prison population, everyday we getting number
spelled the same way they prefer it, they rather increase the numbers
they only want us dumber
twiddling our thumbs, tryna keep us Stevie wonder
they try to keep us blind
windows without blinds
been living behind an open window for years and I’m still in the blind
u say freedom is thought, but my body is still in a bind
so many can do much more but they say their hands are tied
how u think I feel, while my wrist is cuffed
fighting for my freedom going fist to cuffs
what’s life, I tried to give it up, but I can’t give it up
cuz I got family that love me, sons that need me, friends that miss me, a world that forgot about me, hopefully a God that loves me and wants me to get back up
so I pick back up
my strength, a pen, some paper, several books and cd’s and a phone
ringing, hopefully u will pick that up
correcting every mistake when I lift that up
what? all that I left behind and with a six pack, buff
stronger now than I was before, I no longer mattered
Give me my freedom
haven’t I paid u my debt
u got from me taxes
I got nothing for it
plus gave u blood tears and my sweat
I got two sons
they have no dad
those days they will never forget
I swear I have changed, but I’m still in chains
have u not factored the difference
have u not factored the distance
can that not change ur decision
all I know is division
do ur laws practice forgiveness
to u ima savage in prison
no moments of pity, I never can take it, I stand on this hill, and I yell I’m alive, just to see if u hear me, then maybe you’ll see me, and maybe believe that this life that I’m living just isn’t so easy!
Give me my freedom
A number carries a life
what is a life defined by
a mistake, bad judgment, ill-advised choices, immaturity, negligence, privaledge or lack thereof, or ignorances
what about redemption?
we have 4% of the entire worlds population
yet we have 25% of the entire worlds prison population
so again
how we define a life
and how we value a life
is on trial here
our society can’t be as numb
as the same criminal minded individuals it charges as unfit because of their percieved moral numbness
Victimizers becoming victims- in a system put in place to make things right while keeping people safe is not the right way
in more ways than one, we are recreating the same problems that we punish
and if that’s the case
we will continue to section off parts of our society into ready made facilities
because our system is more geared to retrib, resti, ovr recid, rehabi
The more the better
themes of a buffet is now synonomous with incarceration it seems
so I ask u
when u see the numbers
do u see the life
or does how u feel reflect what u see?
…which may be nothing at all
was ashamed Im in prison
hated my name turned to digits
they saw the proof in the cover–so the pages diminished
and I was erased in this sentence
those preying on my downfall, actin like they never will
they also living in they scars, actin like they’ll never heal
destined to reach beyond the stars, even if by sheer will
they rather rave about the flower actin like that shit will never wilt
ohh!never kiss up, never hang my head no mistletoe
u can hate me, u can judge me, we’re identical
I got heart, like arteries and some ventricals
i had principles
never hypocritical
but was a criminal
what goes around, comes around now I’m living my reciprical
so imagine what would happen if u always living cynical
to u I been a ghost, was invisible, but now I’m visible, only thing u say is visceral
but that ain’t critical
becuz I’m spiritual
a living miracle
not metaphors, I’m literal
even if my literary lyrical
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