Love and Pain are both relationships, how can we move forward and find love, if we are still holding onto and committed to that past pain and let down? How can we find passion, purpose and meaning in things if all we rather be is comfortable? What breakthrough ever came from being comfortable? How can we ever free ourselves and find depth if all we do is run from struggle and hardships? These are the very things that shape us and give value to what we pursue and believe in, and if our belief systems are only coated in those moments when we feel the most at ease and comfortable, fearing getting truly involved because of the implications of being let down, then what do you really value besides fear? I say this because there are people I know and don’t know that are still trapped and I feel for them, because I used to be free and trapped too, but now I’m still in prison, which I don’t even see these walls anymore and I’m more free and at peace than I have ever been in my life. My scenery used to embarrass me, and I made all these concessions thinking I had to adhere to everyone else’s happiness since I’m the one in this overbearing situation…but those same things I used to struggle with out there, I’m finally getting thru with inside these walls. I mean I’m still human and struggle with love and wanting to be loved, but besides that, I don’t fear distance and being alone, I don’t fear not having anything because I’m quite content with nothing and working on myself and I even find more joy in giving to others even if I barely have enough. I live in hell and found the heaven in it. I stay engaged daily, I don’t see myself as this person that can only be hurt and let down that never let anyone down, nor do I see myself as only a screw up that has only hurt people and deserves no forgiveness because my identity isn’t in the next person but in how I can look in the mirror and keep working on making him the best person. That shit takes longer than a social media post but it sure feels good getting it out this way. I found my freedom in prison and somehow waiting to get free where so many are still in prison…life is beautiful, what a view.
Take a second to feel and embrace what it is that you feel, stop running, stop resisting, stop wanting everything the easy way, because you’ll get exactly what you put in, but don’t ask the same question afterwards. Just because technology makes communication faster, doesn’t mean it makes it easier, take time to know yourself and someone else…maybe understanding someone else’s pain will help you better see and understand your own and from there, who knows but with that knowledge-what a view!
R.U.S.S.
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