I once contemplated suicide

I once contemplated suicide

I truly tried

even a beast knows beauty lies

so many times

I became unglued inside

like who am I?

looked in the mirror like, “who the fuck are u to decide?”

look to the skies

no, I’m too disguised

do or die

everytime

I lewd my mind, I loose my mind, I lose my mind!

broken mirror! broken bottle! broken man! broke inside!

I lost my life! I lost my sons! I lost my fight!

I.

felt.

like.

dyinggggggg, no lie

I.

felt.

like.

givingggggg up, no lie

but now

I.

think.

I.

feel.

some. thinggggg

my numbness comes and goes

I.

have.

feelingssss?

do. you. feel. me?

please don’t hang up no more

life. kept. calling. for me. to. stayyyyy

maybe. some. one. loves. me. still?

I can’t compare my pain

so I just share my pain

promise you won’t run away

if. I. show. my. face

am I ugly

am I worth it

do you hear me?

echoes are too loud

let go? I’m. too. proud.

I’m not

a.

lone.

please hurt with me, or help me hurt no more..

–Speak up, I’m no longer ashamed to say I felt like giving up, I felt like I couldn’t outrun my mistakes. I felt like love could never love me. I felt forgiveness was unreal, beauty could never be any part of me, and no matter how loud or quiet I spoke, I could never be heard or understood. But then I found..that I wasn’t alone. Speak up, speak out, speak loud, and someone will hear you, we are more similar in our pain, fears and struggles. If you hide, then how can you be found and helped?..believe you are worth the help. I feel you. Don’t give up, because you have more to give, we just lose sight sometimes.