What is it called when you have an appointment or meeting scheduled, and you bring all your reassuring references that draw your picture of experience and skills. You dress your best in order to impress. You pace in your mind about how you will handle yourself and the things you will say once you are called in awaiting a chance at a new venture and opportunity. Sitting and sitting, waiting, positive self talk, knowing you are capable, worthy, and ready. Believing you can handle anything thrown at you, even if you aren’t given the chance you are so hoping for…your reverie is interrupted as you are called into their office/conference room. It’s a few of them, not just one…but you prepared yourself for surprises. When you say so much and so little is heard, and then once it’s all said and done, they’ve looked at your resume, heard your story and believe they have all they needed to make an educated assertion of your value within their proprietorship…but the decision isn’t in your favor. You weren’t worth the financial risk, the timing wasn’t right, it’s not them-it’s you kinda thing…demeaning, maybe even embarrassed you felt, sitting in a chair waiting to be judged and then refused. Worth, value, hope desolated in one denial. You didn’t get it…comeback in a few years, maybe next time…to you, that was a job interview..to me, that was a freedom interview in front of a parole board. Drawing the line between ‘not enough’ and ‘too much’. That line is a question mark. When did years become so casual a unit of measuring “wait”? One day will come, and I will go. But what, who, how many and much will I lose by then?
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